You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Context is key. I do get better reception from younger women in that age range. Same for festivals. But you got to have the right look, too. And be considered someone you won't be seen as "shamed" for. Not everything is so simple. Not saying you're wrong, power to you. But it's not an ordinary event.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
who were the PUAs..
Exactly, humans are not wired to be logical. THey are wired to survive. And survival looks and sounds a lot different than "the formulaic structure of the data indicates that the three examples shown in table 1.1 aren't coherent enough to truly indicate low failure rates...."
ur probably American raised, tall, kind of chubby with a handsome face and u might have a slightly wiggerish vibe. I'm not even saying this to be disrespectful although I am saying this bc it's funny but also true. The only guys I saw do well with American women fit that stereotype but of course there are all kinds of exceptions.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Can't. I'm a man of integrity and I'm taking that one to the grave. It would damage their reputation + I had to save them from a bar fight. lmao.