"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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No excuse for this one...

Darth

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So I'm in the dining hall, getting a knife, fork, etc. And this really cute blonde with glasses comes up beside me and said something like, "I wonder where the forks are?" Poor thing. They were only right in front of her...

So I turned and said, "I think they're right over here." And she looked up and gave me the biggest smile and the deepest eye contact I've ever seen. I smiled and walked away.

AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

I don't think well on my feet. I should've said something, anything, to keep the conversation.

Something like, "Actually, those aren't forks. I don't know where they are. Why don't we go look for them in the other room?"

I was trying to think of a rational reason to keep the conversation going, but what was required was a stupid one. Like her stupid question. I'm just not quick enough on my feet.

Missed opportunities where the girl approaches are the worst feeling in the world.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Mavrick

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Why should you make up sh!t to keep her in a conversation with you? You can continue the conversation in any manner you see fit. You just have to have the gonads to do so. There ain't a damn thing wrong with showing a woman you're interested. Women do it to men all the time, and do you think men have problem with it? No, they don't. How do women do it? By flirting. So, flirt.

You need no excuse to talk to a woman except for the fact that you are a man and you like women. That's the only excuse you need.
 

Darth

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You're right. After she gave me that look that was a bright green light.

I wanted to be direct, but I couldn't think of what to say. Afterwards I realized I should have said anything. No excuses needed.

Even, "Do I know you?" would've worked.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.
 

Nutz

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Don't dwell on it. Just envision what you'd do right the next time it happens so you train your brain on the good stuff and don't reinforce the bad.

And yes, I've gotten brain lock like that as well. The usual approach I get is the good old "Do I know you?"

I used to fumble around pretty bad for something to say in order to keep the conversation going.
 

Farmboy

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Oh man...I was tackle-hugged from behind by a girl I worked with one time in college and I froze up like a deer in the headlights.
AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

I don't think well on my feet. I should've said something, anything, to keep the conversation.
Missed opportunities where the girl approaches are the worst feeling in the world.
Join the club, brother.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

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