"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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No drinking and approach 30 day challenge

coachD

Don Juan
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I've found that I waste entirely too much money and time on drinking. I'd like to do a 30 day challenge where I approach at least 1 HB a day and don't drink at all. I've had success with this over the past few months (reading/no facebook/working out/decluttering), but this challenge seems to be the one I've psyched myself up for. I feel like I'm going to struggle finding interesting things to do on the weekends. I usually go to a sports bar and chill and overeat/drink.

Any advice on finding cool weekend activities that won't make me want to drink and generally overspend? I've got to get out of the house, but I don't want to break the bank.

Thanks
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Golden Arms

Master Don Juan
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Sure.

Off the top of my head:

Gym
Hiking
Skiing/snowboarding (if you live near any resorts)
Jogging/running
Visiting the library
Going out to eat
Movies
Concerts
Museum
Sports events

And lastly, of course, you can still go to bars and whatever and just have a diet coke instead of your usual
 

Boilermaker

Master Don Juan
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Activities for the introvert:

Cooking (start out with easy and healthy stuff)
Reading ( zenhabits.net )
Chess
Learning how to play an instrument
Getting better at stuff ( Training )
Cleaning / Tidying up your place
Painting
Drilling walls
Fixing something that has been waiting on you
Redecorating your apartment
Doing laundry
Going out for a walk
Meditation
Doing nothing
Exercising at home (Pull-ups/Push-ups/Crunches)
Creating a habit
Watching Documentaries/ TV Shows
 

coachD

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Good stuff. I really need to get out of the mindset of having to go drink to meet people. Too often I end up getting to the point that I'm too drunk to have a normal interaction with a girl.
 

BMX

Master Don Juan
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Do you really? Then yea that's a problem. Go do your cold approaches elsewhere while sober. I like that you are putting yourself out there daily with these approaches.

Go do some other things with your weekend free time like they said above, do some frisbee golfing, real golf or tennis, cycling, go out and get coffee as opposed to vodka, hit up a shooting range (something I should've done more of), take BJJ classes or whatever martial art of your choice.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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