No contact and the NPD strikes in a rage

[exhausted]

I've been no contact with my ex npd, when it ended i made sure to be calm and noncompliant to argue or respond to her last rage. I would not give her the satisfaction of tricking me into a fight.

Yesterday I receive 2 phone calls from her as i missed them both with a message asking for her clothes she has left at my home. I do have her clothes so i called her back to get them to her, i dont need her stopping by or calling the police as she is crazy and goes into rages when she cant have what she wants, she says that she is in disbelief that i have not reached out to her, i told her things ended with her going crazy on me in a rage and that day she was aware my mom, who had cancer last year, and had to go in to have masses checked that same day, didn't even ask what was found, or reach out to me since to check, so why is she the one in disbelief that i didnt contact someone who has been so very terrible and abusive to me , let alone unappreciative and giving no compassion? [We were tog 3 years my mom was so very nice to her and her kid she could have checked on my mom or even caled her, cancer sucks]
Long story short she tried talking about things a bit, i did not bite, got off the phone around 9 then attempted calling me back twice at 1130 pm later in the night which i didnt answer because i was in bed for work.
Again she called this am at 1030 and i didnt answer as i was working and she left a message in a yelling rage that i must be fcjing a girl.
I called back and told her i was in bed last night and am working today and does she want me to mail her her clothes as i forgot to ask how to get them to her last night rushing off the phone..which resulted in her raging and going crazy on me because i didnt answer my phone last night, even tho i was in bed. And we dont even speak anymore so wtf.

My response to her was, im dealing a lot with my mom and family and dont need anymore, thanks for calling, nice talking to u, how do u want ur clothes, she said throw them away. Raged and raged and raged on me i did give it to her a bit about being a crazy contolling psycho that says one thing and does the opposite like a disappointment, but like matter of fact ,as i got off the phone nicely as she continued to rage and try to fight i refused.

No contact and all the cvnt wanted was to call and start a fight and have drama.

I dont get it.

Why not just leave it alone?

 

[sazc]

Because she is nuts and it was a slow day...

Because she is butthurt that you didn't try to contact her so she thought she would use the clothes to test the waters with you. When you let her know the truth about the situation she got angry because she realized you were really done.

 

[sazc]

If you dump her clothes at her place, try to make sure you put them where it is safe and take a few pictures of them sitting there, for your protection.

 

[exhausted]

These npds dont get consequences.
We are done because all her raging and screaming over literally NOTHING so today sje rahes and screams over the fact i was asleep last night at 1130pm. Whej 1 its truly none of her business and 2 wtf who screams or is mad over that??

She even threw in there that i was controlling. Hahaha. Ive not tried to contact her or ask her anything in 6 weeks. .

 

[sazc]

These npds dont get consequences.
We are done because all her raging and screaming over literally NOTHING so today sje rahes and screams over the fact i was asleep last night at 1130pm. Whej 1 its truly none of her business and 2 wtf who screams or is mad over that??

She even threw in there that i was controlling. Hahaha. Ive not tried to contact her or ask her anything in 6 weeks. .

I'm of the opinion that people who rage NEED to rage because it is a stress reliever, adrenaline high, or possibly both for them.

 

[exhausted]

Dear Lord she just called and left a message trying to come over. I honestly feel sorry for this girl despite putting me through misery and hell it's like she has no idea the damage she does to people or how to behave.

 

[sazc]

Lol, you ARE controlling! You are an expert at controlling your own emotions

 

[exhausted]

That was projection. Do what I said immediately or you will remain under her mind control bs.

Yes she has told me many times that she is controlling I have known it and she has known in the past that I knew it and just blew her BS off but just ridiculous for her to try to pin that on me almost laughable

 

[Billtx49]

Dear Lord she just called and left a message trying to come over. I honestly feel sorry for this girl despite putting me through misery and hell it's like she has no idea the damage she does to people or how to behave.

Didn't change much from missing you in those six weeks did she

 

[exhausted]

Didn't change much from missing you in those six weeks did she

Bingo.
Rage and scream equals i am gone.
6 weeks later rage and scream i dont answer a phone at 1130pm and cant figure out why this is where it is.
Npd no ability to take responsibility.

ALWAYS THE VICTIM

 

[Billtx49]

Bingo.
Rage and scream equals i am gone.
6 weeks later rage and scream i dont answer a phone at 1130pm and cant figure out why this is where it is.
Npd no ability to take responsibility.

ALWAYS THE VICTIM

Yes, from the looks of it, not even an attempted hoover routine.

 

[exhausted]

Yes, from the looks of it, not even an attempted hoover routine.

I suppose this is it.

Called and invited herself over.
After going crazy on me earlier.
The ridiculous things she said out of nowhere.

Something about hating my house. Like wtf?? Said year ago i told her if she moved in she would have to help pay for things and said no way.

I said wtf? Who would move in with someone and refuse to contribute.?

 

[Billtx49]

If she invited herself, she may show up on her own at any time. Be ready for crazy on the hoof at the homestead if that action happens.

 

[exhausted]

I'm of the opinion that people who rage NEED to rage because it is a stress reliever, adrenaline high, or possibly both for them.

I agree. Tho it is unacceptable. Find a diff way.

Well it's relevant to when they were a child and screamed and raged into tantrums and act the exact same way today. NPD

That is the only way they know how to handle things.
No composure or sense of adjusting.

 

[exhausted]

Emails and a phone call trying to make me jealous that she has been asked out by 7- 8 guys just last week. Hahahaha.

**** this cvnt

 

[Fruitbat]

I sense a bona fide borderline rage here rather than NPD....too illogical.

 

[exhausted]

I sense a bona fide borderline rage here rather than NPD....too illogical.

Maybe, def a npd as well

 

[Fruitbat]

Possible.....but it's a spectrum....people rarely fit one box, but rage is characteristic of BPD more than NPD - unless you "unmask" an NPD when they will rage very hard. NPDs are far better thought out than the stuff above....BPDs do try to manipulate, massively, but the NPD is usually always calm and methodical. This chick sounds mad, not bad. NPDs are mostly just bad and have little emotional instability. There is more rapid cycling of emotions with a BPD too.

Not picking a fight on this BTW, just knowing the difference and how to spot it is quite handy.

 

[exhausted]

Possible.....but it's a spectrum....people rarely fit one box, but rage is characteristic of BPD more than NPD - unless you "unmask" an NPD when they will rage very hard. NPDs are far better thought out than the stuff above....BPDs do try to manipulate, massively, but the NPD is usually always calm and methodical. This chick sounds mad, not bad. NPDs are mostly just bad and have little emotional instability. There is more rapid cycling of emotions with a BPD too.

Not picking a fight on this BTW, just knowing the difference and how to spot it is quite handy.

Hmm.

Well she is def always the victim and I mean always.
If wrong she will twist things beyond the absurd.
And rages like tantrums about things she doesn't get, not always materials more life goals or situations.

When she found out my sister was pregnant she went off into a rage screaming at me because being with me so long she should be pregnant as well as she wants another baby. Despite our talks for a year about a future tog she needs to pay off her debts and be able to contribute at the time she couldn't in any way.

She will bypass reality and humility during these rages like not embarrassed at all. I'd say because she has no control.

 

[Fruitbat]

Completely disagree. Narcissistic rages cease to be logical and are dominated by projection(which is never logical). They also don't need to be unmasked, they are a regular feature of the narcissistic relationship.

Narcissists are machievelian to the extreme, the biggest tyrants in history were narcs, NEVER borderline.

Having been around this my entire life, I can attest to the fa

Hmm.

Well she is def always the victim and I mean always.
If wrong she will twist things beyond the absurd.
And rages like tantrums about things she doesn't get, not always materials more life goals or situations.

When she found out my sister was pregnant she went off into a rage screaming at me because being with me so long she should be pregnant as well as she wants another baby. Despite our talks for a year about a future tog she needs to pay off her debts and be able to contribute at the time she couldn't in any way.

She will bypass reality and humility during these rages like not embarrassed at all. I'd say because she has no control.

That is NOT narcissistic personality disorder, unless this is broadened out to the pop psychology catch-all diagnosis.

NPD's hallmarks are:

• An exaggerated sense of one’s own abilities and achievements
• A constant need for attention, affirmation, and praise
• A belief that you are unique or “special,” and should only associate with other people of the same status
• Persistent fantasies about attaining success and power
• Exploiting other people for personal gain
• A sense of entitlement and expectation of special treatment
• A preoccupation with power or success
• Feeling envious of others, or believing that others are envious of you
• A lack of empathy for others

This doesn't sound like her at all, well, not what is presenting here. Borderline, on the other hand:

Fear of abandonment. .Unstable relationships..Unclear or unstable self-image. Extreme emotional swings. Unstable emotions and moods are common with BPD. .Chronic feelings of emptiness. Explosive anger. .Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality.

There is overlap,but NPD is distinctly different and does not carry anywhere near the emotional instability of borderline.

You don't need all the symptoms, but she seems much more like the 2nd list.

NPDs set up traps for people and smirk as they win their little points. Narcs are one step from psychopaths, they are less impulsive yet share the same lizard-like machievelian attitude.