"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Nice Guys Finish First! (iqqi summarized)

punchitchewy

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iqqi said:
Guys, I'm an obese and lonely girl, but this is so personal I just have to write it on a public forum...

LAST NIGHT I SLEPT WITH SOMEONE UGLY! LIKE HOLY FVCKING SH1T UGLY!!!!

:rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon:

That's right, UGLY. Read it. Like swamp man, but on a different level!

I was turned on by his facial deformities and lack of hygiene.

In the past he helped ease my voracious appetite for dough nuts and sweet sweet candy.

Last night, I needed a ride on someone's ****.

When I called he sounded tired, but I did the girly thing which is "oiiiiiink" and "I got all dressed up and now my pvssy is moist..." and used some bribes: "my friends are REAAALLY horny...", and after a 4 hours of deliberation on his part, he came and got me. His original plan was just to drop me off at the party, because he was afraid I would eat everything in his house if he brought me home and my flatulence was thunderous. But I talked him into coming back, so he went home, got w00d, and showed up towards the end.

He did some pretty AFC things at the party, like him and and his buddies ran train on every chick at the party. But he also did some DJish things, like he didn't think twice about the AFC things he did - he didn't care what anyone else thought, because he doesn't spend any time on any internet boards trying to figure out if he should be a nice guy or just run train on hoes. He came and grabbed me up to dance at the end when the party shut down...

I sprinted after him and tripped and fell in the mud (I was unbelievably wet at this point, and not from the mud.) :eek:

Some points to make, hopefully to answer any sosuave questions that I can foresee:

1. We did anal.

2. I have always had a little crush on him, because of the way he holds himself (Read: because of the way he jams his r0d into b1tches (see... looks DON'T matter). He is quiet, moral, and runs train like a pro.

3. DJ traits you'd all recognize: He can dance, really well. (Read: He has a 9 inch johnson.)

4. If he is such a nice guy, iqqi, why are you just NOW giving him the time of day???
A. I want to join his harem.
B. He is a good friend of mine's brother, and that gets me off. :eek: The only thing that gets me off more is siblings. This is the code.
C. He used to work for me and my ex. (Long story, he ran train on my ex).

5. Yes, there were other men there who were totally hot, and who wanted to get to know the iq. (Corpses, in other words.)


So the point I have hoped to get across, is that not only is Nice Guy a nice guy, but he is fugly (Fugly aka fugly). And he still got the girl (Fugly aka...whoops...) And the girl is eternally hungry...where are the pancakes...

Discuss, b1tches.
Wow, iqqi. The quality of your posts has diminished somewhat recently...still quality stuff though: +1


(http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=135283 <-- original)
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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iqqi

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What an attention wh0re you are.

I am flattered, though. I have never had anyone do a parody of my posts before! And a pretty darned funny one, at that. But since this is a parody, it probably belongs in the AE forum, along with any other iqqi fan club posts. :)
 

Mad Manic

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To be fair to Iqqi, she was attracted to him and went home with him and had sex with him. If the girls who were attracted to me did that, I'd be a pimp. Usually they have an entorage of friends stopping them or indeed they stop themselves through BS rationalisations. So I'm glad he got laid tbh and I'm glad she didn't ruin his night with LMR or cvckteasing and whatnot.

MM
 

Play the Game

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Anyone can fvck a desperate fat chick... even nice guys. They call it bumpin' uglies. :rolleyes:

Unless you're shallow hall, i wouldn't call that finishing first.
 

Ken785

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punchitchewy said:
Wow, iqqi. The quality of your posts has diminished somewhat recently...still quality stuff though: +1


(http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=135283 <-- original)
Please tell me Iqqi is a woman!....and if she is...shes obviously Bi...at the end she mentioned the guy ran a run on her exGF....

somebody clear this up for me...who is a guy and who is a girl in this story? or are they BOTH guys and they did anal??? IM SO CONFUSED!!!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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ketostix

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That's funny as hell because as ridiculus as it is there's a lot of truth to it I'm sure.
 

Randallpink83

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haha... I'm glad it was just a parody thread... the whole "But doesn't get me as hot as my siblings"... lol I seriously was blown away before I realized it was a joke... funny stuff.
 

punchitchewy

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iqqi said:
I should give your rep points for that. But I will save them for something better, since they only let you give them out once to each member. RETARDED!
Hey iqqi, I think now's the time to give me some rep points HAHA

I'm amazed some people don't realize right off the bat that iqqi didn't really post that. Rep points for all of you.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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