"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Nice Guy to Jerk, Inevitable?

S

SPEAK

Don Juan
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Nov 22, 2009
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I have gotten a lot more girls since finding this website, but I was raised (by my mom) to respect people's feelings and to treat people and especially women like gold. At a party last night I kissed a girl that I know likes me as the ball dropped signaling the new year, and led her on saying that we should hang out sometime. She said she was going to be right back, but then I started making out with this other girl that I had been dancing with (not 5 minutes after haha) and I know she was upset. I feel really guilty, even tho I had fun. I am wondering what I could have done differently, and if it is an inevitable to go from AFC to Jerk in order to find the middle ground of Don Juan.

Thanks for all the help you have already given me,

SPEAK
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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E

Erik V

Don Juan
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I don't see how knowing more about how to approach and raise interest levels would lead to being a jerk - to become a jerk is a completely different thing. Even when I have become better at talking to strangers in the street, the important thing is to not embarrass myself by being needy, and not insult the girl and make her feel used. You can be a good DJ and perfectly honest at the same time.

It is valid to approach different girls in the same time period, since you never know how any of them will respond - many of them you will only see once or twice, even if you talk or text a bit afterward. That can go on for weeks, and if you would not approach any other girl in the meantime, even if a great and natural opportunity comes up, then you are losing a lot. But make sure to not let the approaches conflict with each other. Don't have the girls in the same room, is a good way to start.
 
T

The Grey Fox

Don Juan
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Jan 8, 2008
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You don't have to feel guilty, she'll get over it, it was only a kiss. As much as nice guys will try to deny it being a jerk (with girls) is the way to get the girls (cant speak for older women), as long as you don't overdo it you'll be fine.

Outside of relationships, at parties etc anythings fairgame no need to worry about girls feelings, cos it's all casual.
 
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