Nexted another chick who wouldn't put out on the first date

[Zarky]

Went out with a new chick tonight. We had some wine then made out in a bar. 6 face, 8 body. I was feeling her up and she gave me some line about the fact that she and her friend "pinky swore" that they would never have sex on the first date. Even though she clearly had had sex on the first date before, and in reality was a bit of a tramp. This woman is 38 years old.

Well, good old Zarky doesn't play second fiddle to any other douchebag. If a girl is slutty enough to bang other dudes on the first date, she's slutty enough to bang me on the first date. And if she doesn't, that's a big enough red flag that it's a next, with no redemption.

So I wrote in a text...

"[Her name], I had a really great time with you tonight. You're smart and sexy. There's only one difficulty... remember how you said that you and your friend pinky swore that you would never have sex on the first date? Well, my friend and I pinky swore that if sex didn't happen on the first date, there would be no second date."

Obviously my friend and I never did anything of the sort, but she can understand the point. That's where I draw the line. As far as I'm concerned, every chick in southern california over the age of 25 has boned some dude on the first date. If she doesn't do it with me, that means she's setting me up to control the relationship through sexuality. I will not tolerate that.

It's not so much the sex, it's the attempt at control. I will not be controlled.

And I think that's the whole concept behind "sh*t tests"... control. Betas are men who are ok with being controlled. Alphas, not so much. It's a natural aversion. Not saying I'm an alpha because I think there's more to it, but the element of control is a big part.

EDIT:

In my attempts to always improve, I know now that I should have really nipped that in the bud like right away, the whole "pinky swear" thing. What I did was a bit passive-aggressive... I should have immediately done a takeaway and blown out the whole "no sex on the first date" thing. I think I could have done it and been successful. Just not taken that line of BS. Instead I tried to use kino and got as far as a makeout and feel-up, but had I gone evil on her and called her on that BS, I think it would have worked.

 

[Greasy Pig]

I reckon humour, deflection and playing it cool could've got you further.

Most women put up the ASD at some point but if you can recognise it and you can tell she's just trying to make herself feel better if she fvcks you, then you can just turn the tables.

Say something like: "Woah, you're already talking about sex? Ha, I'm not that easy."

 

[betheman]

I think youre missing out taking this approach, in my experience, her argument, rather than controlling you, is merely her stating "Im not a *****" which paradoxically is also her stating "I will sleep with you so long as I have convinced myself and you that Im not a *****".
going along with her game by ignoring it for the most part but giving subtle affirmation, "yeah Pinky is a good girl, she sounds cool" (corny but it would get you onside).

 

[Zarky]

Although the thought of her going home feeling good and thinking she's in control right off the bat, and then getting a text or email upending that feeling, is kind of funny to me. I've done it to a few women over the course of my dating lifetime. They never react well.

And it's my way of "Passing the P*ssy Forward" because if a girl is rejected enough after good dates for not putting out, she's more likely to put out quick(er) for the next guy.

After a few dates where the guy bails because she doesn't put out, there will come a guy where she'll think "This guy seems like someone I want to hold onto, I'd better put out tonight." Of course this can only happen if the guys tell her why there's no second date.

Imagine if no man on the planet would go out with a girl twice if she didn't put out the first time. There would be no wasted time or money. If a girl is out with you, it's on. That would be a great world.

So whoever that next guy is, he's welcome

 

[Desdinova]

If she doesn't do it with me, that means she's setting me up to control the relationship through sexuality. I will not tolerate that.

It's not so much the sex, it's the attempt at control. I will not be controlled.

The issue of control through sex doesn't come up in the beginning of the relationship. It generally comes up during the relationship. You need to establish that sex is NOT high on your priority list in order to prevent her from controlling you through it. You cannot do that on a first date. You have to do it through actual sexual experience with the person in question.

What you did here is you've done the complete opposite. You actually let her have the control by ditching her. Remember, stuff like that is just talk. If you can rock her emotions enough, you can get her to forget about the pinky swear and fvck you regardless. Women won't do things based on logic or even promise. They will do things based on emotion.

Showing that her statement bothered you demonstrates that you CAN be controlled through sex.

 

[cordoncordon]

You way over reacted here. Acted like a spoiled 12 year old kid taking his ball and going home to be honest. If you want to sleep with a bunch of slvts who have slept with 300 guys, then go with this approach. You might get a lay every few dates with a low quality girl. Congrats.

Are you really that horny and hard up that if a girl chooses to not sleep with you after one date that you never want to see her again? All that is showing the women is how much sex controls your life, to the point where you look addicted.

I don't get it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

We had some wine then made out in a bar. 6 face, 8 body. I was feeling her up and she gave me some line about the fact that she and her friend "pinky swore" that they would never have sex on the first date.

The problem with a negative reaction is that it implies that you need sex. Of course we all need sex, but a woman doesn't want to think that you are only interested in her for that reason. When you act like you don't care that she just said something like that, it implies that you're successful enough with women to already get all the sex you need. It also lets the women pretend that you like her personality.

My response would be more like:

woo-hoo! :cheer: That takes the pressure off. Now I can get drunk. Let's do a shot. Bring on the whiskey d!ck!

 

[Zarky]

Here's the thing, I totally acted cool and we made out and I was rubbing her snatch in the bar. Unfortunately I wasn't able to close, she just stonewalled me, and I put on some good moves.

It's not like I need the sex. I'm multi-dating and had boned one of my chicks the night before. I'm going to get laid tomorrow night and Saturday and Sunday. So as I said, it's not about the sex, it's about control.

Also, it's the feeling I get when I'm walking back alone to my car. You're heard of the "walk of shame" that you do after boning some chick and the next morning you have to leave her place. Well, my "walk of shame" is the walk I take back to my car after the chick has turned me down for the night. To me that's utterly humiliating.

So one of my rules these days is that if there's no sex on the first date, there's no second date. Period. That's just my rule. It's a compliance test they must pass. It's kind of the ultimate compliance test, because there's quite a bit of social stigma behind it. Put out when I want you to, or you're done. And I want it now.

The women I've dated who have put out on the first date have been submissive enough for me to have nice, long relationships with. And, in those relationships, I usually get my way. The ones who hold out on me are usually 1) worse in bed and 2) more controlling. The longer they hold out, the more controlling they are. I want no control over me. Zero.

But that's just me. I'm sure lots of guys will wait until the second date or even third and be perfectly fine with it. For me, if I want to screw, and the girl doesn't allow it, that means there will be lots of other things she won't "allow" me to do if a relationship happens.

So again, it's not because I'm "horny," it's because I will not allow women in my life who won't do what I want them to do when I want them to do it. And that includes sex immediately. :yes:

Remember, a few weeks ago I had three first dates in two days. The first one I boned within 10 minutes of meeting, the second one I went over just to screw, and the third screwed me on the first date (after saying over and over she wouldn't.) I'm not exactly needy, as far as sex goes. I'm in need of chicks who'll do what I want them to do. Perhaps I've gotten spoiled, that might be part of it.

 

[Solomon]

You way over reacted here. Acted like a spoiled 12 year old kid taking his ball and going home to be honest. If you want to sleep with a bunch of slvts who have slept with 300 guys, then go with this approach. You might get a lay every few dates with a low quality girl. Congrats.

Are you really that horny and hard up that if a girl chooses to not sleep with you after one date that you never want to see her again? All that is showing the women is how much sex controls your life, to the point where you look addicted.

I don't get it.

co-signt his

While I get were Zarky is coming from, you gotta remember that any woman or man whose had sex on the first date, shyt happens.

My thing is this, most of the women I have had sex on the first date or ONS. I never see them again even if I want too. The buyers remorse kicks in, and now these chicks feel manipulated or like a slore. This is why I rather not push the sexual issue, but I'm not gonna turn a BJ down or some a$$ if a woman obliges.

My rule is simple if I don't smash within a month (or 4 dates) then I'm gone but it all depends on how much I like the girl, unless she's christian or a virgin saving herself for marriage. Most girls who truly like you will let you smash after a month. The ones were you gotta wait 3 months are the ones that want you to be a sucker and trick off

 

[pdx1138]

I never would have told her all of that (explaining it to her) and just played it cool like Greasy Pig said.

Explaining ones actions to a girl hardly ever, if ever at all, does any good.

How are you going to meet a quality chick if you insist on banging them the first date? Most of them won't even do that even if your game is good.

 

[Trump]

But that's just me. I'm sure lots of guys will wait until the second date or even third and be perfectly fine with it. For me, if I want to screw, and the girl doesn't allow it, that means there will be lots of other things she won't "allow" me to do if a relationship happens.

So again, it's not because I'm "horny," it's because I will not allow women in my life who won't do what I want them to do when I want them to do it. And that includes sex immediately. :yes:

You are entitled to ask for what you want, sex on the first date or within 15 min of meeting a woman.

The only thing you should not do, is put a woman down for not agreeing with you on the first date. It's her perogative if she wants to sleep with you or not, even if she slept with a different guy previously in 30 seconds of meeting him.

By texting her and telling her what you did, you showed she had control over you and affected you emotionally. Talk about mind control of a woman!

She didn't put you down, she just said no to what you were offering, two completely different things. You getting angry at her for rejecting your product shows lack of emotional maturity.

 

[Zarky]

My rule is simple if I don't smash within a month (or 4 dates) then I'm gone

There's no way I could wait that long.
Doing the math, 19 out of the 33 chicks I've boned have happened on the first date. That's well more than half. There are an additional 7 I boned on the second date. Added together, that's 26 out of 33 chicks, or almost 80% of chicks I've boned within the first 2 dates. If the girl is a 9-10, I'll wait two dates (maybe.) Anything less and it's one date or bye bye.

Explaining ones actions to a girl hardly ever, if ever at all, does any good.

Well, define "good." I'm never going to see her again, so...? I wanted her to know I was dumping her because she didn't put out in a timely manner. It was important she know this.

You getting angry at her for rejecting your product shows lack of emotional maturity.

Perhaps, but I wanted to make her feel as bad as possible for not putting out on the first date so that, hopefully, she's more likely to put out on the first date for the next guy. Once she refused to put out for me, I was done with her.

 

[cordoncordon]

Here is all there is to really say about this. The quality of girls you are dating must be super super low. Because I can absolutely 100000000% promise you that if you were on a first date with a Megan Fox or a Kate Upton lookalike, or were out with a hot 28 year old Doctor? And you and her were making out and all over each other? And she would do everything but have sex? And she wanted a second date? You would be alllllllllll over going out with her again.

The fact is you are being this picky because the quality of girl you are choosing to date is low quality, which probably also explains why many of these girls do sleep with you on the first date.

Also, in reading your last post. You definitely have some control issues. You seem very controlling and possessive. I could see this causing problems if you ever get into a relationship again. You are 37 right? I don't know if you were married before or what, but I would bet a million that you feel as though you have been hurt deeply in the past by women, and this is your way of "getting back at them".

 

[zekko]

And it's my way of "Passing the P*ssy Forward" because if a girl is rejected enough after good dates for not putting out, she's more likely to put out quick(er) for the next guy.

I don't think it's unreasonable for a woman to have a policy of not putting out on a first date. That gives her a way of at least maintaining an illusion of being semi-virtuous. Besides, I can wait an extra date, it isn't going to kill me.

I'm familiar with your "Pass the Pvssy Forward" idea, but all I think you're really doing is conditioning these women to be slvts. Honestly, there are plenty of slvts around now, we don't really need more of them.

 

[bigneil]

Thanks for the laugh Zarky.

But it cost you a girl. You probably didn't like her all that much, but that's too harsh a rule.

I might have dated some slutty women, but I didn't require it!

 

[marmel75]

rofl....too funny bro...

did the chick respond to that text you sent?

 

[drak_ool]

The women I've dated who have put out on the first date have been submissive enough for me to have nice, long relationships with. And, in those relationships, I usually get my way.

...

For me, if I want to screw, and the girl doesn't allow it, that means there will be lots of other things she won't "allow" me to do if a relationship happens.

Interesting... So even though you are looking for girls who will put out on a first date, you want a relationship with these girls? While I love me a skanky girl (just came back from Vegas for the 2nd wknd in 3 weeks lol), I would never consider dating one, just fvck her a few more times until I get bored.

While I agree that every one should have his own standards and stick to them, and I commend you for sticking to your guts, you are missing out on fvcking a lot of hot chicks by setting the bar so high.

I also absolutely agree with you when you say "why should I wait for it, when she had at least one night stand?" But you also have to look at how that ons came about. Was it a drunken night in Vegas? was it at a bachelorette party? Not saying that means you shouldn't get it on the first night, but you have to consider that there's quite an important difference in the outside setting between a wild night in Vegas and a quite weekday date in socal...

 

[BigSmooth]

To condemn a girl because she doesn't put out on the first date is really messed up in my opinon, and actually ruins the girl's mentality for future guys more than this "pass the p*ssy mentality you have".


Referring to your self-humiliation whenever you have to walk back to your car alone...ALONG with your over controlling, possessive attitude I think (like concordon said above) it's more than just trying to "be in control" of a relationship. Seems like something happened in the past and you are trying to compensate for it now. Are you feeling inferior to other men because you are alone? Honestly, that's not very "alpha" (and I use that term very loosely) behavior.

Now I may be wrong and maybe nothing happened in the past, in which case I don't understand this overly controlling, TOO dominant behavior.

There's a fine line between having the girl respect your authority and manly dominance in a relationship, and just being an all out control freak who will scare girls away and then just blame the failed relationship on the girl while in reality it is you that have the problems.


And what is it are you exactly looking for? A relationship or a ONS? If you are trying to find a quality relationship, nexting a girl because she won't put out on the first night and believing that you need 10000% control of everyone is ludicrious, and all that will happen is that you will end up with a slvt for a girlfriend and/or a girl who has very bad self-esteem problems and will listen to everything you say.

Now I don't know about you but that doesn't sound like my type of quality girlfriend.


And even if you were looking for a ONS, that's not how I would have played it out. The other posters who have referenced playing it relaxed, ****y, and funny would have worked much better.


~BSmooth

 

[Senzoi]

The game is a dance and if she moves one way, you must move that way as well to keep the rhythm before moving back to your way. That you next'd her because she wouldn't sleep with you on the first date is utter foolishness.

-GGTW

No it isn't. It's called moving on when he didn't get what he wanted (sex on the 1st date).

You apparently are compliant enough to let her dictate a little so long as there is a prospect of sex 'sometime' after the 1st date, and that is fine.

Zarky is not, and acted accordingly. Good on him.

~ Senzoi

 

[flashpoint]

LMR and fail. maybe she has done that in the past and she has felt like a slvt afterwards, so she got a little conscious about it. just lay back and make her comfortable enough to proceed. of course the ultimate test in this situation is, when you get all horny and all of a sudden the music stops. that is a lot of frustration you have to deal with and playin it right is not easy under this circumstances. cant always win.

i just wouldnt try to rationalize it because if it becomes a pattern then you might have less suxxess than you are supposed to. or worse as others have said, you ll only get the easy real slvts that bring all kind of trouble with them (like whoring around).