"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Next move?

Kevin Matthew

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Got a girls number while doing photography at a club Friday night. We danced and made out a little. She's 35, I'm 25. I texted her today. This is the transcript of our convo...

Me: Hey Jill, it's Kevin from Friday night.
Me: I was going through my pics, and stumble upon this...i had to share it.(attached was a pic of her)
Her: Hahaaaa! Feelin it for sure ;) thanks for sharin. How ya doin?
Me: I'm doing very well. How about you, still hungover from Friday?
Her: I'm great! Was def feelin it yesterday but I'm back. Did u have fun at the show? I remember sliding around on that floor tryin to dance.
Her: Do u have an artist page for ur work?
Me: Yea I had a lot fun. We tore up the dance floor...well I did. You kept trying to copy my moves but kept slipping.
Me: I don't have a personal page, but my company does.

Did i blow it? And if so what was the wrong move? Any advice on wht my next move should be?(when to text her, what to say, etc.)
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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TheException

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Me: Hey Jill, it's Kevin from Friday night.

Not a good first text^

Always assume she remembers you. But it didnt harm you because shes still into from the texts.

Did i blow it? And if so what was the wrong move? Any advice on wht my next move should be?(when to text her, what to say, etc.)

Im assuming she didnt respond to your last text? If thats the case wait a few days and text her to make plans for a date....no more bullsh1tting around about work. You can talk to her all about it WHEN YOU PHYSICALLY ON THE DATE. Just say something like "Hey I got a recommendation for this one restaurant. Its sounds cool, what night are you free this week?" Or a simple "What night are you free to get drinks this week?"
 

Kevin Matthew

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TheException said:
Me: Hey Jill, it's Kevin from Friday night.

Not a good first text^
Thanks for the feedback. If we don't help each other, we'll never get better.

Would it have been better if I just said. "Hey Jill, it's Kevin."? She didn't have my number, so I feel like I would've had to state my name. Should I not have?
 

Iceberg

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Kevin Matthew said:
Did i blow it? And if so what was the wrong move? Any advice on wht my next move should be?(when to text her, what to say, etc.)

Kevin Matthew said:
Thanks for the feedback. If we don't help each other, we'll never get better.

Would it have been better if I just said. "Hey Jill, it's Kevin."? She didn't have my number, so I feel like I would've had to state my name. Should I not have?
I don't really know why you think you "blew it". You haven't really done anything (good or bad).

Saying, "Hey it's Kevin from Friday night." really isn't worse than saying "Hey it's Kevin." Not a big deal. Not even close.

Everything about your conversation is fine. I see no major flaws. The only thing it's lacking is where you get to the point and ask her to meet you for drinks. You don't want to spent hours texting back and forth with some girl you barely know. All you gotta say is, "How's your week looking? Let's meet up for drinks after one of my photography sessions. Wednesday or Thurs."


You're throwing around words like "Did i blow it?" and I'm like....this guy didnt even freakin do anything. There's nothing to blow. Even if this girl never responds again, it just means she's not interested. It's not because you blew it.
 

TheException

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Would it have been better if I just said. "Hey Jill, it's Kevin."? She didn't have my number, so I feel like I would've had to state my name. Should I not have?

I didnt mean it like that. Ice nailed it when he says it doesnt really matter. I just prefer to assume shes going to remember me. Ill comment on something that happened the night i met her.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Kevin Matthew

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Thanks for the wise words guys. I have a tendency to over think things. Will let you know what happens.
 
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