"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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NEWBIE, confused about a girl need advice with strategy

turtle9

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I am a newbie here and sort of a newbie with women, but I am here because I would like to do something about it. Anyways a bit about me, I am 22 Latin guy from northern California I am college educated, I have a good job, nice car ( Infiniti G37s coupe =D) I work out often, am well read and can hold a conversation pretty well with most people, however I am extremely shy and introverted and am being constantly rejected by women.

So there is a girl I have been known and been sleeping with/dating since August of 2008. Anyways we started as F*** buddies back in Aug 08 till about the present. Intially I didn’t think nothing of our arrangement but about 6 months into it I caught feelings for her, I played it cool and became observant to her actions which to me indicated interest we also went on a dates, spent a weekend together, had a couple sleep overs. After going through all of this my feelings became a lot stronger, so about a month ago I told her how I felt. Her reaction was “wow” she seemed pretty stressed, she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship but really enjoyed spending time with me and cared about me, she also said if this would been another guy she woulda cut communication a while back ago, she also told me that I have been the only person she sleeps with since we first met, which after getting to know her well I believe. I didn’t bring up again for a couple weeks, in between that we still went on a couple dates and continued to sleep together. We would text almost everyday but I noticed it was sort of tapering down, I touched the issue again via email, she responded that she is fine how we are now and that if anything is meant to happen it will, with adequate time. This was two weeks ago, last week she wouldn’t answer her phone at all, so I called from another number, she answered and I told her it was no big deal she was pretty happy and invited me for lunch the next day. She cancelled lunch about an hr before and said she would call me after work, she didn’t. Now I texted her about 4-5 times this weekend and got nothing. I also texted her about a surprise I had for her (concert tickets to see a group she really likes and spend part of the weekend in Tahoe) she didn’t even bother to respond or inquire about the surprise. Today it has been 4 days since I have last contacted her I am planning on giving it about 10 days before I contact her again and try to surprise her with those concert tickets and those weekend plans. I just need some help here, I really like this girl I am not sure if I love her but man the insecurity of losing her is killing me so bad! In a way I feel that she thinks im clingy and that is pushing her away, but then again she got me used to texting/calling everyday because she would do that. Can you all give me advice? Do you guys think the strategy I have in mind is a good one? Should I try something else?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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scrouds

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Ha!

She starts cutting you off and you reward her with tickets and a trip to tahoe? Put the tickets away dude. That's #1.

#2 You tried and failed. Pushed the issue and now she's walking away from you. Cut her loose.

Chicks are kind of stupid in a certain way. I had a chick call me every day for a solid 2 months, and really its cause I always answered the phone I came off as clingy.
 
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scrouds,

chicks are stupid in a lot of ways haha..

turtle,

nice car! anyway man, if she only wants a FB with no real emotional connection I would keep the relationship where it is. If you want a real relationship, I would recommend dating other women, but until you get serious, keep her around and just be friends that hook up.. nothing wrong with that!

don't feel like a loser for catching feelings.. it is normal man..

hope that helped
 

turtle9

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scrouds said:
Ha!

She starts cutting you off and you reward her with tickets and a trip to tahoe? Put the tickets away dude. That's #1.

#2 You tried and failed. Pushed the issue and now she's walking away from you. Cut her loose.

Chicks are kind of stupid in a certain way. I had a chick call me every day for a solid 2 months, and really its cause I always answered the phone I came off as clingy.

Well the tickets and all that I had for a while already, when we were still cool and when she was acting more like a GF than a FB. Back then she was really nice to me, she bought me stuff, treated me to lunch, dinner drinks so I thought that in a way she kinda deserved that, it just so happens that I wanted to surprise her and now she is acting this way. And those tickets and all well I cant get a refund on them!
 

turtle9

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SleepyRangerMedic82D said:
scrouds,

chicks are stupid in a lot of ways haha..

turtle,

nice car! anyway man, if she only wants a FB with no real emotional connection I would keep the relationship where it is. If you want a real relationship, I would recommend dating other women, but until you get serious, keep her around and just be friends that hook up.. nothing wrong with that!

don't feel like a loser for catching feelings.. it is normal man..

hope that helped

Yeah well the thing is, is that I dont mind having her around as a FWB, I told her that I liked her but that I also didnt want like a formal relationship, I mean after spending so much time with a person you are bound to have some feelings!

I know that the key to maintaining my mental/emotional sanity is to either date other women or if she straigtens up and stops making such a big damn deal out of it. The problem is, is that I am horrible with women, I seriously dont know what she saw in me but she approached me, made the first move. Its so damn hard for me to go up to random women and make up some conversation, I feel like a real idoit when I do so and when I do get a conversation going I dont how to go from conversing to sex! Like seriously how do you approach a woman and get her to sleep with you? am I simply supposed to ask her?? I think i feel this way because I have never gotten attention from women, I mean I was a virgin till I was 21, so if i loose her I dont know where or how I get that female attention. Also none of my friends are into bars/clubs, they are frankly to ghetto to even go and I feel like a real loser if I show up to a bar/club alone. Its also hard to make new friends here, because its a big city with a small town mentality so everyone in this town kind of has their own clique, I was unfortunate enough to have been raised in the ****ty part of town so most of my friends/aquaintences are ghetto ( you know the type...white t, girbauds and fake nike air forces and dreads) So basically most of my life outside of work consists of working out, reading and smoking TONS of WEED....Mary Jane she has really been helping get through all of this.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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amoka

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Read THE BIBLE and don't believe everything a woman tells you... "she has not had sex with anyone ever since she started having sex with you." Do you really believe that?
 

turtle9

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BUMP....I really apreciate the replies because i dont talk to anyone about this, it is good to hear some outside advice rather than letting my emotions play with my head, thanks a lot guys!
 
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