"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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New situation at hand

sci3n

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Long time lurker, first time poster.

To give you a bit of background about myself:

- 26 years old.
- College educated.
- Traveled all over Europe.
- Decent shape.
- Hobbies include DJ'ing and producing electronic music.
- Ok job, decent living arrangements.
- Currently seeing 2 girls, talking to a third.

Basically, I got my house in order. No problems approaching girls and whatnot, however, one of the girls I'm currently seeing I am very interested in but I have never experienced this situation before and was wondering how some of the more experienced fellows on this board would handle it. Opinions and thoughts are welcomed.

Situation:

I recently started seeing this girl I've known for over a year. Went to a festival together and we hooked up. Kiss closed make out session that same day. We started seeing each other after that and also went on a 2 day trip out of town to hit some night clubs, had sex that weekend. She's stayed at my place over night. She has also came to visit me at my place several times (mind you she lives over an hour away) and she has came over to my place to cook me dinner.

We had a conversation and we mutually agreed that we aren't quite ready for a serious relationship but we would take it slow and see where it would go. Her reasoning is family situation is really quite unstable and she can't handle any serious commitment right now.

Now, I am not sure whether I want a serious relationship since I'll be most likely be heading to Europe for graduate school to complete my Master's degree and also because I'm seeing one other girl, however, if I had my choice I wouldn't mind getting a little more serious with her. She does however have a lot of family baggage to the point where she gets stuck tending to family BS half the time we have plans or whatnot. She does counter-offer and tells me she will make it up to me. But I do get pissed at the fact that half the time our plans fall through for legitimate reasons (mother is sick, baby niece needs babysitting, etc).

When she does come through, she is the girl that has treated me the best ever and this is why I'm conflicted. Do you guys think she is worth the trouble or should i just put her in the backburner and pursue the other girls more actively?

Drop your .02 cents, thanks.

P.S: Whenever we go out she pays her fair share of the bills and isn't stingy about offering to pay up or help out. So she's not playing me for money or anything like that either.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
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I say move on.

Whan a girl likes you she will move mountains to see you. She's on the fence and you're a friend of convenience. A DJ has no time for being strung along.

I only spend my efforts on girls who are totally into me, and I never get burned flaked on, or rejected. I personally would disqualify this girl based on her behavior.
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
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When a girl is stating she is unsure, doesn't want a commitment, wants to take it slow, and is generally moaning and groaning, it usually means she wants to keep her options open. It creates to much uncertainty for my taste, so I would opt to cool it with her and eventually drop her. Nothing like a girl that indeed, as Atom Smasher said, moves mountains to see you. Tread with caution, and don't waste your time if you ain't feelin it.

Good luck.
 
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