"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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New situation at hand

sci3n

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Long time lurker, first time poster.

To give you a bit of background about myself:

- 26 years old.
- College educated.
- Traveled all over Europe.
- Decent shape.
- Hobbies include DJ'ing and producing electronic music.
- Ok job, decent living arrangements.
- Currently seeing 2 girls, talking to a third.

Basically, I got my house in order. No problems approaching girls and whatnot, however, one of the girls I'm currently seeing I am very interested in but I have never experienced this situation before and was wondering how some of the more experienced fellows on this board would handle it. Opinions and thoughts are welcomed.

Situation:

I recently started seeing this girl I've known for over a year. Went to a festival together and we hooked up. Kiss closed make out session that same day. We started seeing each other after that and also went on a 2 day trip out of town to hit some night clubs, had sex that weekend. She's stayed at my place over night. She has also came to visit me at my place several times (mind you she lives over an hour away) and she has came over to my place to cook me dinner.

We had a conversation and we mutually agreed that we aren't quite ready for a serious relationship but we would take it slow and see where it would go. Her reasoning is family situation is really quite unstable and she can't handle any serious commitment right now.

Now, I am not sure whether I want a serious relationship since I'll be most likely be heading to Europe for graduate school to complete my Master's degree and also because I'm seeing one other girl, however, if I had my choice I wouldn't mind getting a little more serious with her. She does however have a lot of family baggage to the point where she gets stuck tending to family BS half the time we have plans or whatnot. She does counter-offer and tells me she will make it up to me. But I do get pissed at the fact that half the time our plans fall through for legitimate reasons (mother is sick, baby niece needs babysitting, etc).

When she does come through, she is the girl that has treated me the best ever and this is why I'm conflicted. Do you guys think she is worth the trouble or should i just put her in the backburner and pursue the other girls more actively?

Drop your .02 cents, thanks.

P.S: Whenever we go out she pays her fair share of the bills and isn't stingy about offering to pay up or help out. So she's not playing me for money or anything like that either.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
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I say move on.

Whan a girl likes you she will move mountains to see you. She's on the fence and you're a friend of convenience. A DJ has no time for being strung along.

I only spend my efforts on girls who are totally into me, and I never get burned flaked on, or rejected. I personally would disqualify this girl based on her behavior.
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
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When a girl is stating she is unsure, doesn't want a commitment, wants to take it slow, and is generally moaning and groaning, it usually means she wants to keep her options open. It creates to much uncertainty for my taste, so I would opt to cool it with her and eventually drop her. Nothing like a girl that indeed, as Atom Smasher said, moves mountains to see you. Tread with caution, and don't waste your time if you ain't feelin it.

Good luck.
 
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