NEW No Contact* Challenge for the dumped

[Jean Valjean]

The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

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Let's re-start the No Contact Challenge.

My recent 6 month gf put me into the just friend zone a few months ago .. after leading me to think I was the love of her life. We've managed along ... continued to kiss/make out albeit with alot of effort and push from me all the time..never fuucked though.

I've had it, she put up a big resistance to visit my new condo and did not want to sleep in the same bed .. has never let me fuuck her just alot of making out ... I have been dependent on her for companionship after recently leaving my wife of many years. It is now very lonely but I will prevail.

So today I initiated NC at 1 pm with the condition that unless she will get intimate and it is in the subject line of an email I will delete emails without reading them and not take any more calls.

I will post my results daily or whenever the need arises. So far made it through work today no contact. Now for tommow - 1 hour at a time - 1 day - 1 night at a time.

I invite all other dumped guys to post their no contact journals here, Lets support each other and man up.

SEE BELOW


THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE (originally by Daydream Enginner)

Hey Guys,


This has personally helped me 2 years ago, and i have seen many members asking for "how to get my ex back", and after breakup questions. The idea is a simple one, for 60 days, you will not talk or communicate with the girl that bazooka your heart. In any way, form, or communication, and every time you feel like saying something to her, you will write what you were going to tell her, AND/OR why you want to contact her, in this thread instead. This has been field tested by me, and it works from selling your soul to the she-devil"

 

[Jean Valjean]

Day 8 - Need moral support

I have not heard from my gf since I sent her an email - telling her I was initiating NC unless she is willing to become intimate with me again. Guess she doesn't care and is "just not that into me" anymore.

Hurts today I am so lonely trying to be a tough soldier in the battleground of love.

Triple whammy for me, brothers
1. I moved out of home few months ago left my wife of many years wanted the joys of meeting new women. 23 years married is a long time feels weird
like a broke a law committed a major crime but I ust wanted to be free.
2. The gorgeous girl I left my wife for admitted she is still in love with her ex and put me in LJBF after acting like I was the love of her life a few months ago, calling me all day, meeting me whenever, giving me the look of love. I believed she was my Maria.
3. Don't even have my dog of 11 years by my side. He is home so no pet to comfort me.

feels like that song today

I'm so lonely I could die

just sitting in my empty condo by myself after a bad spagetti dinner I made with frozen meatballs.

 

[Ridingthelightning]

After I went through a big ordeal with an ex, breaking up with and being broken up with just isn't that bad anymore.
I'm sorry to say I think this is a bad idea. I feel you're not just moving on with life and still harboring the "pain" of it all. Just stop contacting and find someone else to break your heart.

I think people need to have a sense of humor about the whole thing and just let it go. I laugh at the fact I got so upset after I dated a girl for 5 years, did everything but sex, and less than a week after she dumps me she bangs some guy 3 nights in a row. And then swindled her way back into my life and lost my virginity to her. I seriously laugh about it. I laugh at how stupid I was. Most ironic thing is she and I can laugh about it together because I just let it go. I've almost said verbatim ..."Remember that time you broke my heart, and left me in my bed after we'd had sex all night and then told me about some new guy you wanted to date and then came back 2 weeks later, and I asked you what happened to him and you just shrugged your shoulders and then I took you back like some chump? YEAH! That WAS hilarious!"
I feel a small recollection of feeling like crap at that time and I get a small resurfacing of the self pity. BUT! THAT IS NO WAY TO LIVE.
I'm begging you sir, for your own good, move on with life and forget this no contact journal.

 

[Ridingthelightning]

Wow, just read your second post... You are like Ron Burgundy - in a glass case of emotion. You're 48...? Sheesh dude.

But, nice user name btw., love that book.

 

[Jean Valjean]

dude its worse than that I'm actually a few years older even ... just wanted to blend in better

I'm so old I can't even go clubbing anymore

..though I look young and am not fat or bald

dude don't know if this is where I need to be at this time in my life ... want to be disco duck and date dance etc but feeling like I can get a heart attack anytime and die alone in this empty condo, even my son at college resents me

price of freedom sure is high

not many prospects feel like still love gorgeous girl who does not want me anymore

 

[Jean Valjean]

How do you mend a broken heart

Day 9

was hard ..felt like contacting ex gf but when I rereaad my last em to her. I made it clear that the reason I was going NC was that she put me in just friends category, told me she still loved her ex from 2 years ago and refuses to come visit me in my new condo or be intimate with me. I gave her the option of contacting me if she changeed her mind and made it explicitly clear in the subject line otherwise I would delete the email. I don't want to be hoovered anymore.

The fact that she has reciprocated NC tells me she is not interested so I will not contact her.

Lost the will to live and overeating visiting late night markets for late night meals of cake and pizza and chips ...stopped working out. Condo is a mess and I just sleep when not eating.

 

[Ease]

what about your ex wife?

how were things with her?

 

[brokenupinside]

Hey Jean, dont get depressed or at least fight it,cause if you do you will not do yourself any service,trust me.
I was there bad and it lasted a while but you get out of it.
Work out,don't stop,you will see that it elevates you testosterone levels and you'll see results,get busy,if you have to overeat ,overeat veggie sticks or whatever is not damaging and fatening,last thing you need is to be depressed and overweight.
If you are worried about a heart attack go get a test and get it out of your head.
It's hard bro,I'm not going to lie to you,you know me from answering to my post that I'm in deep trouble too but trust me ,there's a diference with a year ago:

I'm not depressed anymore,just sad sometimes,big DIF!!
So that tells me that there's relief at the end of the tunnel,things get better.
Even tho I want her back,and I think you do too,my plan?,work towards improving yourself motivated by the belief that when she sees what you have become ,that you actually improved without her then true to womans nature she'll want you again.................by then you either don't care anymore or have control of your own shytze that you'll control her too.(dangerous but ....)
Listen,our girls in question don't do anything for themselves,they are looking to improve by switching targets and marks,you and i on the contrary will self improve,DO IT!
When you are all better and in a better frame of mind and body and finance you'll meet her and she'll still have only two things going for her,her "charms" (they fade fast)and her drama,she'll still be making some poor guy's life miserable and going from "relationship to relationship" without aim.

Look this ,what I'm telling you is my plan for myself.It's all I got but it's something.
Down the road,I will write a letter and won't take a reply,cause I dont care what she thinks,but I will have my peace.

My girl has 3 choices the way I see it:

1)come back to me where se belongs,she knows this but will shoot herself in the foot and make me suffer in the meantime
2)stay with the new guy,and without saying much about her present situation,be a slave to the guys wants cause outside of poon she did not bring anything into the relationship.....that will last a while but is not everlasting by a long strech,I give her 5 years max with wind blowing behind her.He controls where she lives,income,his house,his car,his everything.Nice prospect for a future,basically a slave.
3)Use this guy as a stepping stone and scout for the next mark,which will
confirm waht everybody already thinks of her and will do wonders for her self esteem,self image or whatever it is she has(certainly not a concience).
And what about daughters or sons,what will they remember the most,the jumping from guy to guy and the joy of moving around the country without setting foot anywhere.
brokenupinside

 

[Jean Valjean]

Thanks brokenupinside

Today was Day 10

I have to start working at work and stop checking my email to see if my ex gf contacted me. Missed a toast masters meeting tonight feeling tired so stayed
in.

Had an epiphany this morning that perhaps I really don't want to become great with the ladies or a DJ or get my bpd ex gf back ... so I can go back to my ex wife and make it work.


I read the stories here and can't believe so many guys have suffered for many years what I have experieced just a few months with bpd girl. No wonder she has been single so many years. I hear about so many relationships ending badly and guys living alone and dying alone.

The price of freedom is high brothers.

 

[brokenupinside]

Try to fix it with your wife Jean but patience is needed big time ,you can't force it,besides she'll probably want "proof" that you are over the affair and that you will not be hoovered back.How to convince someone of that I don`t know myself,time I guess.

 

[Ridingthelightning]

I think you're ruled by interaction with females. Want to work it out with your ex wife but complaining about bpd. I'm not sure what bpd means, but still, this isn't about the woman, its about you and you alone. If she doesn't want you then swallow that bitter and jagged pill and accept it.

 

[Jean Valjean]

I think you're ruled by interaction with females. Want to work it out with your ex wife but complaining about bpd. I'm not sure what bpd means, but still, this isn't about the woman, its about you and you alone. If she doesn't want you then swallow that bitter and jagged pill and accept it.

you're right .. need a major new hobby besides women. That is what I am doing with NC with the only other woman I have ever loved.


just got used to not being alone when I was younger being single was no problem

 

[Jean Valjean]

day 12 almost broke down

actually day 11 sorry

miss my bpd girl terribly but being strong with NC

how can I go back to someone with so many issues who point blank admitted to still being in love her ex from 2 years ago and puts me in the LJBF zone because she is too scared to take a chance with me because of what she went thru 2 years aog

I won't take 2nd place to anyone

 

[Don Israel]

The thing of this whole 'no contact' business is that it is a challenge. We get challenged by the situation and by the fact that, such as in you case, girls WILL try to 'no contact' us back. Therefore they are indirectly challenging us.

Never should we go back.... unless you want to lose the game.

But in all seriousness, keep it up sir...i'm glad your doing your best...it takes discipline to do what your doing, given the circumstances.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

So today I initiated NC at 1 pm with the condition that unless she will get intimate and it is in the subject line of an email I will delete emails without reading them and not take any more calls.

I will post my results daily

Total AFC move. You didn't seriously believe this was going to work did you?

 

[Jean Valjean]

Total AFC move. You didn't seriously believe this was going to work did you?

Yes I kind of realize that now. The ball is in her court and she know that she can have me back anytime ...


well what do you suggest now?

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Forget her, it's a lost cause. Delete her number, email, and other bridges of communication so you won't be tempted to contact her again.

 

[1337]

Dude just forget her all the emotions you have right now are just chemicals produced by your brain because your ego thinks you have less value and wants to keep you down so you don't get hurt anymore. In reality no you don't need these emotions for her don't let that ego take control, believe me theres a whole lot a man can do with out these limitations our ego and emotions sets on us. I know your trying to resist but remembers if you resist it persists. Resistance is not accepting the current reality because its not something you want it to be. Accept the fact she left you shes not coming back,look at your depression from the outside 3rd person view and accept the fact your being AFC now and move on.

 

[Jean Valjean]

Day 14

just went by and NC. So... fellers looks like I have figured out how to do what so many others like Biblebelt etc could not do ..

I got rid of a certified BPD girl without even trying ... just used some total AFC moves that has her thinking GO AWAY you AFC

My secret was telling her I was going total NC then adding a ultimatum that I would delete her emails without reading unless she becomes intimate with me again... looks like I created the perfect - begging AFC style NC.

Well not feeling too lovesick today and there the bright side her being out of my life is a blessing in disguise BIG TIME - good riddance....

Trouble is that I am still lonely as hell in this empty condo .. trying to join some clubs prob need to get out more and not just come home to make a TV dinner by myself then go on my pc

 

[AAAgent]

i suggest that you move on. if you do pull nc nemore, do so without sending her emails or letting her know. she let her know before you do that you will be busy from now on.

but ya just move on.