New guy not sure what to do

[skins7778]

First off let me say in this particular relationship I want to have a long term relationship. Im getting a little older and am looking forward to settling down after running amuck for the past 5 years.

So I recently reconnected with a girl from my past who I had a history with years ago. She has been the one i always kicked myself for letting go years before. Things got hot and heavy the first night we hung out and since then they have cooled off quite a bit. Normaly I would cut my losses and just walk away BUT I really like this girl alot. Theres a few pretty back big problems, mainly the fact that while shes separated she's technically still married to her ex while the divorce is finalized and theres kids involved. Basically things were great for the first few weeks but Im pretty sure I broke every rule out there and made myself too needy. Recently I pissed her off for a reason i think is stupid which led to the message - "ill talk to you later. Ineed some time......... I'm still really ****in mad at you"

Its been a few days and ive left her alone, I'm just wondering how to proceed from here. I dont want to give up on this, any thoughts?

 

[SmoothnNerdy]

Read the no contact challenge!
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=160056

And all the links from the OP. -get an understanding for what happens in a woman's mind when you go NC and STICK WITH IT!

She's pissed right now... If you try to push an apology or start sucking up to her now, my best guess is that she'll lose even more respect and attraction for you.

I've got no wisdom but recently fvct up pushing a girl away, then pushing her even further by sucking up and putting up with poor treatment. I hope you don't make my mistake, and find some more helpful stuff!

 

[Johnnyventana]

Yeah, this one is 101. The harder you try, the harder she pushes away. It's in the bible.

Wait her out. Do something. Have fun. Act like you don't need her, that you're doing awesome. PRETEND if you have to.

That said, she sounds like she has some issues. Never settle.

And as they say on here, and it is really simply, "She should be worried about losing you." Period.

Think about that. Repeat it a million times. When we think that way, things change. One, we don't chase. We're not needy. That right there is a million times more attractive. But it also means that we can just let go of people who suck, or simply may just not want us. Because we are not chasing.

So, texting, no reply, and texting again, for example = no!

Stop thinking, "I'm worried about losing her." She should be wondering if she is going to lose you. She should be wondering if you are thinking about her.

But if you chase, she'll never have to wonder a thing.

So, she should be worried about losing you. Period.

 

[skins7778]

I read throuvh some of the no contact challenge it seems like thats for a LTR that recently ended and it this point I wouldnt classify my situation as that. I guess what I want to know is what do I say when she calls or texts to say she is not upset anymore, what should be my response?

 

[DonGorgon]

First off let me say in this particular relationship I want to have a long term relationship. Im getting a little older and am looking forward to settling down after running amuck for the past 5 years.

So I recently reconnected with a girl from my past who I had a history with years ago. She has been the one i always kicked myself for letting go years before. Things got hot and heavy the first night we hung out and since then they have cooled off quite a bit. Normaly I would cut my losses and just walk away BUT I really like this girl alot. Theres a few pretty back big problems, mainly the fact that while shes separated she's technically still married to her ex while the divorce is finalized and theres kids involved. Basically things were great for the first few weeks but Im pretty sure I broke every rule out there and made myself too needy. Recently I pissed her off for a reason i think is stupid which led to the message - "ill talk to you later. Ineed some time......... I'm still really ****in mad at you"

Its been a few days and ive left her alone, I'm just wondering how to proceed from here. I dont want to give up on this, any thoughts?

yeah that reconnection thing is not a good look except for friendship with benefits... it just has a high failure rate...

 

[skins7778]

yeah that reconnection thing is not a good look except for friendship with benefits... it just has a high failure rate...

You might be right here. Years ago when I was in my early 20's I had her eating out of the palm of my hand and broke her heart according to her. Im starting to get the feeling that it might be impossible to live up to her own memoriez of me. I might just need to end this.