New guy here plus question

[DTim88]

Hey what's going on ladies and fellas. I am Jerome I just wanted to introduce myself

My question is do you believe my gf is cheating or am I just being insecure/guilty. MY gf and I have been together for a few Months now. She has a real not sincere vibe to her it's the way she talks. Shes really sarcastic about everything. she loves to joke about breaking up and cheating. I stopped that stuff but we have broke up twice. During the "hours" we weren't together I did have sex with another girl. I will admit, So I'm not the saint I'n this situation either.. But anyways she tells me she loves me all the time but I truly don't believe her. As of recent shes done things like rush me off the phone at night telling me I need to get some sleep. I got off the phone last night to test her and called her back a few minutes later she picked up but she kept saying I thought uu were sleep why did u call back. And she was quiet on the phone and seemed out of it. I want to say she put me on hold to but I'm not sure. I jokingly said are u on the phone with someone else she said yes but then said she was joking and only said yes because I asked her that. what do u guy's think if she is I don't care I will move on I just don't want to waste my time

Thanks

 

[Tictac]

Your insecurity is inside you. And you can change it, even let it go.

 

[Serenity]

If you know it's sarcasm then you know she's not serious about what she says, that's usually how sarcasm works. Unless you have any evidence to suggest she's cheating then you're probably insecure and slightly paranoid. You or we can't know or reasonably believe she's cheating based on you feeling bad vibes and she just joking and being sarcastic.

Might just be how her personality is. I can be pretty damn sarcastic myself, but there's nothing serious to it. So I know how it is. I joke about those things too, but I'm not being serious. I'm being serious when I tell my girlfriend I love her, she knows that to be true and knows when I'm joking.

Maybe your girlfriend does the same thing. Does she tell you she loves you in a more serious way than when she's joking about cheating? Can you tell the difference? It should be pretty distinct.

 

[9asus2]

Unfortunately you're a few months in so you might get some resistance if you try the following, but it's what I'd do (rightly or wrongly);

Set a boundary, firmly, once (don't whinge and go on about it) that you find it disrespectful when she makes light of cheating on you.

Then go with your gut, if she respects you enough she'll hopefully stop and you can carry on. If she does carry on it may be a sign that she is less invested than you and/or is playing a bit of a game. At that point it's probably time to throw in the towel.

However right now, do you think your suspicious of her cheating because you're gut really is telling you something? Or is it out of insecurity? I think that's what you need to address immediately

 

[DTim88]

Gut feeling I'm not a insecure person like that

 

[Tictac]

Gut feeling I'm not a insecure person like that

Re-read your own post.

 

[DTim88]

But at the same time I don't put nothing past anyone... Idk maybe I am overreacting right now I'll just have to play it out

 

[Tictac]

But at the same time I don't put nothing past anyone... Idk maybe I am overreacting right now I'll just have to play it out

It's not her. It's you.

 

[DTim88]

Yea your right, I will work on it from here on out

 

[9asus2]

It's not her. It's you.

Probably this.

Set your boundary and expectation. See how she acts from there on out. This should tell you what you need to know moving forwards

 

[DTim88]

Thanks fellas, is this weak of me to do this: this girl is chronically tardy to dates but she says she's late to everything were supposed to meet up at 8....I. Don't trust her word at all so I told her meet me at 8 but I'm not showing up till 8:30..I try to be a man of my word but I'm not trying to be waiting for her

 

[DTim88]

Or should I just leave if she's not there by 8:15

 

[dustmuffin]

Thanks fellas, is this weak of me to do this: this girl is chronically tardy to dates but she says she's late to everything were supposed to meet up at 8....I. Don't trust her word at all so I told her meet me at 8 but I'm not showing up till 8:30..I try to be a man of my word but I'm not trying to be waiting for her

Tell the cronically late to be there at say 7 30 when you actually mean 8. I used this on my ex wife with good results.you show up at 8 of course.

 

[DTim88]

Yea I could do that but wouldnt that look kinda weak in her eyes its like me stopping to her level..I would like to see her but at the same Time I want her to get into the habit of being places on time

 

[logicallefty]

Welcome to the forum OP.

Sounds to me based on what you said like her interest level may be slipping, but not totally gone. Jokes are all fun and good when they can be done both ways. If I had a little joker girl acting exactly like she is, I would not contact her for a week. Then after a week either answer her or contact her. When\if she asks "Where have you been", make up some big story on how you went to Alaska and had to fight off this big bear from eating all of these poor innocent children, and you killed the bear by stabbing its chest with your bare hand and pulling out its heart.. Go all crazy with your story. Then say "Just joking". But then if she continues to ask where you have been, never tell her no matter how much she pressures you.. If she really cares about you this will send her hamster into a coronary. If she acts like she really doesnt care then there is your answer...

 

[DTim88]

A week is kinda steep and idk I still feel like she's up to no good...my institution and gut are way to strong...for example we had sex yesterday but it felt more like sympathy p and kinda gave me the booty call treatment... Idk maybe I'm sounding crazy as hell but it's like the universe is telling me something.. My favorite r&b song came on the radio and she started acting funny and kept saying turn it off or turn it down meanwhile it's not even loud then she left the room and went to the bathroom looked at herself in the mirror i believe then just walked back to the bedroom... Also when we first met up I kissed her and she gave this funny style smirk..I've cheated on her before and I would feel guilty by something is telling me were even..maybe I'm just crazy as. Hell lol but yea

 

[DTim88]

Truth be told Idc anymore if she did and I found out I would move on and continue to do what I was doing before which was messing with multiple girl'...summer is here