"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

New girl @ work

benogan

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 9, 2014
Messages
31
Reaction score
1
So I am a manager at a large retailer. With several hundred employees. I recently am out of a LTR and have been gaming both online and going out when I can though it is hard with work, and because I am in recovery.

Anyways, I train the new hires. This girl walked in and I was instantly into her. just liked the way she looked, her mannerisms, I could tell shes the kind of girl that is a challenge for me, which is good.

So, I've managed to use the fact that I go around to check on the new hires to coach to have some conversations and found out some information about her. Shes my age, lives nearby, etc. I am not her direct supervisor but I am in a higher position though my company does not have issues with romance within the company.

Anyways. I don't want to come across too forward or anything like that. Anyone have any experience with how I should handle escalating this to a meetup outside of work. I don't want to give her my number and have someone think I'm being unprofessional.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

MrNiceGuy23

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 8, 2012
Messages
267
Reaction score
10
How long is this training phase? At the very least I would wait it out until you are no longer responsible for training her. Neither of you want to deal with the issue if it's a no go and you still have to train her on a daily basis.

While training her, keep it casual and playful. Drop hints and flirt where you can, but don't do anything inappropriate or unprofessional, just enough to show her your interested.

After the training, just invite her out, tell her you enjoyed training her and you two should go out sometime. If she says yes then have your fun and if she says no then at least you won't see her too much since training is over.
 

benogan

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 9, 2014
Messages
31
Reaction score
1
well its like. she did the training session I led, which was a one day register training kind of thing. But I check in whenever I'd like and ask her how its going, offer to show her some tricks ETC. One of the big things im resposible for is getting people to have customers open cards. So lately I've been going up to her and being like so and so opened one already from the training class.... wheres yours? then I talk, offer advice, then ask her stuff about her life and she seems receptive, she responds by asking me my goals and my background. She wants to get to the same place I'm headed as far as the corporate track, so being the same age I think my experience, my position, the tips I offer, and the fact that EVERYONE in the store walks by me and yells BENNNN GUESS WHAT! and runs over to tell me something shows her i have HIGH VALUE.
 

MrNiceGuy23

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 8, 2012
Messages
267
Reaction score
10
Don't confuse her kissing the boss' ass with her being attracted to you. She may like you which is why she asks you these questions, or she's being nice so you like her which would increase her chances of moving up the ladder.

Considering she wants your job, it only makes sense that she would ask about you (monkey see, monkey do), it couldn't hurt to ask her out and find out where you stand, you could even ask her out under the pretense that it's work related (if she asks about your goals and tips again, tell her you don't have time to get into it but that you two can go out together and you'll tell her then. See how things go there and proceed.
 

benogan

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 9, 2014
Messages
31
Reaction score
1
Very true. Will keep spinning plates and see if she gives me some more IOIs.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Top