"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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New girl @ work

benogan

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So I am a manager at a large retailer. With several hundred employees. I recently am out of a LTR and have been gaming both online and going out when I can though it is hard with work, and because I am in recovery.

Anyways, I train the new hires. This girl walked in and I was instantly into her. just liked the way she looked, her mannerisms, I could tell shes the kind of girl that is a challenge for me, which is good.

So, I've managed to use the fact that I go around to check on the new hires to coach to have some conversations and found out some information about her. Shes my age, lives nearby, etc. I am not her direct supervisor but I am in a higher position though my company does not have issues with romance within the company.

Anyways. I don't want to come across too forward or anything like that. Anyone have any experience with how I should handle escalating this to a meetup outside of work. I don't want to give her my number and have someone think I'm being unprofessional.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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MrNiceGuy23

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How long is this training phase? At the very least I would wait it out until you are no longer responsible for training her. Neither of you want to deal with the issue if it's a no go and you still have to train her on a daily basis.

While training her, keep it casual and playful. Drop hints and flirt where you can, but don't do anything inappropriate or unprofessional, just enough to show her your interested.

After the training, just invite her out, tell her you enjoyed training her and you two should go out sometime. If she says yes then have your fun and if she says no then at least you won't see her too much since training is over.
 

benogan

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well its like. she did the training session I led, which was a one day register training kind of thing. But I check in whenever I'd like and ask her how its going, offer to show her some tricks ETC. One of the big things im resposible for is getting people to have customers open cards. So lately I've been going up to her and being like so and so opened one already from the training class.... wheres yours? then I talk, offer advice, then ask her stuff about her life and she seems receptive, she responds by asking me my goals and my background. She wants to get to the same place I'm headed as far as the corporate track, so being the same age I think my experience, my position, the tips I offer, and the fact that EVERYONE in the store walks by me and yells BENNNN GUESS WHAT! and runs over to tell me something shows her i have HIGH VALUE.
 

MrNiceGuy23

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Don't confuse her kissing the boss' ass with her being attracted to you. She may like you which is why she asks you these questions, or she's being nice so you like her which would increase her chances of moving up the ladder.

Considering she wants your job, it only makes sense that she would ask about you (monkey see, monkey do), it couldn't hurt to ask her out and find out where you stand, you could even ask her out under the pretense that it's work related (if she asks about your goals and tips again, tell her you don't have time to get into it but that you two can go out together and you'll tell her then. See how things go there and proceed.
 

benogan

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Very true. Will keep spinning plates and see if she gives me some more IOIs.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

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