"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Ambition

Don Juan
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Hey guys. I posted this a day or two ago in the HS forum, but it hasn't been answered and is really probably an appropriate question to ask anyone who has been through high school, not just highschoolers (thus, I'd ask that the MODS PLEASE DONT MOVE).
I've just moved, but anyone who tried to "change groups" in HS could answer this. I'm a junior, and its a large HS. I know already tons of people, and I think I'm pretty good socially (I've even done pretty well already with some fine girls, and I'd like to think that I'm fun and likeable) but I am completely clueless as to how to get into a group. It's so big that no one is going to invite you anywhere because they assume you are already doing something else.
That leaves it up to me, but I don't know the area and have no where to invite anyone, besides, I do not like to do anything that seems like "asking out" guys. I play lacrosse, but that doesn't start till spring. I'm doing clubs, but the above applies: After you get out of the club, you are stuck and people are going places without you. The only option seems like inviting myself places, but that doesn't seem cool. It's a very cliquish HS, but I think I'll do fine if I know what kids in my situation normally do (thats you if have have first hand experience or have observed).

So... should I
A) Wait, and I'll magically start getting invited places
B) Start inviting myself places
C) :confused: Assume that I'm not as good socially as I thought and need to work on basic social skills? :confused: (I do not think this is the case, but maybe I'm wrong)
D) Something I haven't thought of?

Edit: the previous post can be found here:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=109776
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Jackman

Don Juan
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Guys will always follow other guys that get the tang, so if you're doing fairly well with the ladies, use that as a lure to get a few guys to come hang with you to do whatever. Talk the ladies into bringing more ladies for your friends. Play them both off of each other.
 

VSTbeserk

Don Juan
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well for sure i would definatly not "magically wait to be invited to places". what clubs are you in?

do not like to do anything that seems like "asking out" guys.
you mean like for example like asking them to come over to your house to watch football on sunday?

do you play any fall sports at all? maybe you can't play high school sports but don't they have any local leagues where anyone can join a team?
 

Ambition

Don Juan
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Jackman:
If what you are saying is true (which I'm pretty sure it is) then that awesome, but I want to know how to do it (basics), not just what helps (advanced)

VSTbeserk:
The most notable club I'm in is forensics (huge time commitment) among others. I like the Sunday football idea, any others?
I'll look into local leagues, but thats more time out of a busy schedule. :eek:


What I guess I'm asking is what I can do to hang out with the people I want weekends without (looking like) I'm inviting myself (I sat at home most of the weekend).
 

Jackman

Don Juan
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Ambition said:
Jackman:
If what you are saying is true (which I'm pretty sure it is) then that awesome, but I want to know how to do it (basics), not just what helps (advanced)
You begin by talking to the girl. You arrainge a time to hang out in general and ask her to bring a few friends along. Just avoid the whole one on one date situation and make it out to be a social thing. Once she agrees to try to get a few friends together, you mention in brief conversation with a few dudes that you need a few guys that might be interested. Simply tell them you're meeting some chick and a few of her frineds and that you need a few guys to come along.

My advice here is that you should at least be somewhat aware of what a certain girl's friends look like. You don't want to end up in a situation where the one, two or more guys you get to come on out with you are stuck with 200 pound fuglies while you're working a nice piece of ass.

If you can, add alchohol to the whole situation.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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