Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Ambition

Don Juan
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Hey guys. I posted this a day or two ago in the HS forum, but it hasn't been answered and is really probably an appropriate question to ask anyone who has been through high school, not just highschoolers (thus, I'd ask that the MODS PLEASE DONT MOVE).
I've just moved, but anyone who tried to "change groups" in HS could answer this. I'm a junior, and its a large HS. I know already tons of people, and I think I'm pretty good socially (I've even done pretty well already with some fine girls, and I'd like to think that I'm fun and likeable) but I am completely clueless as to how to get into a group. It's so big that no one is going to invite you anywhere because they assume you are already doing something else.
That leaves it up to me, but I don't know the area and have no where to invite anyone, besides, I do not like to do anything that seems like "asking out" guys. I play lacrosse, but that doesn't start till spring. I'm doing clubs, but the above applies: After you get out of the club, you are stuck and people are going places without you. The only option seems like inviting myself places, but that doesn't seem cool. It's a very cliquish HS, but I think I'll do fine if I know what kids in my situation normally do (thats you if have have first hand experience or have observed).

So... should I
A) Wait, and I'll magically start getting invited places
B) Start inviting myself places
C) :confused: Assume that I'm not as good socially as I thought and need to work on basic social skills? :confused: (I do not think this is the case, but maybe I'm wrong)
D) Something I haven't thought of?

Edit: the previous post can be found here:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=109776
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Jackman

Don Juan
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Guys will always follow other guys that get the tang, so if you're doing fairly well with the ladies, use that as a lure to get a few guys to come hang with you to do whatever. Talk the ladies into bringing more ladies for your friends. Play them both off of each other.
 

VSTbeserk

Don Juan
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well for sure i would definatly not "magically wait to be invited to places". what clubs are you in?

do not like to do anything that seems like "asking out" guys.
you mean like for example like asking them to come over to your house to watch football on sunday?

do you play any fall sports at all? maybe you can't play high school sports but don't they have any local leagues where anyone can join a team?
 

Ambition

Don Juan
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Jackman:
If what you are saying is true (which I'm pretty sure it is) then that awesome, but I want to know how to do it (basics), not just what helps (advanced)

VSTbeserk:
The most notable club I'm in is forensics (huge time commitment) among others. I like the Sunday football idea, any others?
I'll look into local leagues, but thats more time out of a busy schedule. :eek:


What I guess I'm asking is what I can do to hang out with the people I want weekends without (looking like) I'm inviting myself (I sat at home most of the weekend).
 

Jackman

Don Juan
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Ambition said:
Jackman:
If what you are saying is true (which I'm pretty sure it is) then that awesome, but I want to know how to do it (basics), not just what helps (advanced)
You begin by talking to the girl. You arrainge a time to hang out in general and ask her to bring a few friends along. Just avoid the whole one on one date situation and make it out to be a social thing. Once she agrees to try to get a few friends together, you mention in brief conversation with a few dudes that you need a few guys that might be interested. Simply tell them you're meeting some chick and a few of her frineds and that you need a few guys to come along.

My advice here is that you should at least be somewhat aware of what a certain girl's friends look like. You don't want to end up in a situation where the one, two or more guys you get to come on out with you are stuck with 200 pound fuglies while you're working a nice piece of ass.

If you can, add alchohol to the whole situation.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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