"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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new dj in early confusion

theoneandonly

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hey guys, im new here so i just thought id say hey to begin wiv. a few months ago I was a total afc but now I'm at least a mediocre dj and u can definitely tell by lookin at my social life. however, every now and again i get these bouts of AFCness which runs to the surface and i become an AFC again for a couple of minutes. It's like a Jekyll and Hyde thing.

Well here's my problem. I met this girl at my hair salon about a month ago. A couple of years older than me. We exchange numbers, and later she texts me first and we hav a bit of a text convo not much. Until a couple of days later she mentions in a text that she has a "bf". I'm assuming that means boyfriend. But it was just casual like "not been up 2 much my bf is over here rite now". Just real casual. And so right about here the afc in me comes rushing to the surface again. I totally chicken out, don't text her again. A couple of weeks have gone by. Please don't be so harsh on me for that... remember im new.

Anyway, yesterday my phone goes off and its from her asking how iv been. i debate whether or not I should text her back or not but then i settle on a yes (obv) but choose to wait a couple days so as not to sound too desperate. So I'm planning to text her today, but then I suddenly get another text from her saying basically the same stuff as before. I'm just confued about wat her intentions are and whether she wants a friend or "bf". I don't have a clue what's gone on her end and for all I know she may not have a boyfriend any more.

Little advice?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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SenorSuave

Don Juan
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Well, she obviously has an interest in you. After all, she is continuing to text you. However, I say you wait a few more days at least to reply. If she keeps coming back, you know you've got something good.
 

theoneandonly

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You think I should wait still? Ok well if your sure, but if she doesn't come back again should I still reply to the one I got yesterday? I mean, if she has an interest, then I dont want to seem like I don't is all.
 

Kiko-

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The BF bit was probably a shyt test to see how you would react. You obviously failed it, seeing as you chickened out.
See- 80% of girls with their boyfriends would text other guys if their bf was around. Unless the bf is a carefree dumbass.

Call her up, arrange to meet and work your magic.
 

Long Duck Dong

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I would have to agree with these gents. yes it seems she has interest in you if she continues to text you. You should set up a date and see how things go. But, if she does have a boyfriend I would next her because (pretty much always) she wont leave him for you and you'll be chasing something u will never have.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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ryannath

Master Don Juan
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why wait so many days to text back? trying to be "sosuave" my friend? lol chicks will lose interest if you keep waiting so long to text back. good lord. quit trying to be "dj" and waiting so damn long.
 
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