New (and weird) situation

[Glassguy]

Had a friend of mine (chick that I'm good friends with as well as her husband) send me a text yesterday. She said that a friend of hers asked if I was single and she was trying to get me to go on a blind date with her.

I told her no way to a completely blind date. What one chick thinks is hot, I may not. So she gives me her name and tells me if I'm interseted, the chick is expecting me to send her a fb message and get the date set up. I checked her out and she is a hot 27 yr old teacher, never married. This was yesterday. I send it, she never respond to it. Apparently now you have to friend someone to send them a message. My friend says "she's expecting the friend request". Against my better judgement I send ONLY a friend request.

24 hrs later she hasn't accepted it, but I checked it this evening and she has posted stuff on fb.

She is a teacher, it's the last week of school around here and things are busy. I think it may be a little sh!t test. My plan is to give it until tomorrow evening and it she hasn't accepted it, I will cancel the request and if she is interested she can put some investment into it and send me one later down the road.

Sh!t test? I might just be myself, indifferent and cancel it in a couple days..... no big deal. I have other plates.

I will also add that things like this do not surpeise me anymore, nor bother me.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Maybe she's just nervous? Even the really hot ones are insecure, especially with a guy they don't know.

You've done all you needed to do. If she responds, great, if she doesn't, you haven't lost anything and you've invested nothing.

Ball is in her court.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

This is complete overkill on your part.

Would be much more simple if you had got the phone number and pinged her a text, then forgotten about it. Forget all this sending and cancelling FRs. You're acting like a twitchy Tourette's. You've also killed all the mystery by getting involved on social media.

 

[Glassguy]

This is complete overkill on your part.

Would be much more simple if you had got the phone number and pinged her a text, then forgotten about it. Forget all this sending and cancelling FRs. You're acting like a twitchy Tourette's. You've also killed all the mystery by getting involved on social media.

Completely disagree. But thanks for your input.

I have invested nothing but a push of a button. I will wait it out for the next day or so. If no action by her, I will simply cancel the request.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

If no action by her, I will simply cancel the request.

Why would you do this? It's not about the physical investment, but the emotional. The fact that you would cancel it at all reeks of emotional over-investment. It's a fckn facbook FR man; you're totally over-analysing her behaviour already and not giving her the time and space to act. Just fckn leave it be and wait; you're demonstrating zero patience, just like a spoiled child. Maybe if she hasn't accepted after a month, then cancel it. Like I said, you're being far too fidgety, and it's even making ME feel uncomfortable!

 

[AlphaNate]

I usually agree with you, OP, but I'm going with @TheMonkeyKing on this one.

This flakey b*tch has already pulled you into her frame with this social media bullsh*t. This is a case where I'd give my number, and have no expectations of an actual date.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

Oh boy. This one spells trouble for you. I'm really impressed by the tone of your post OP, I had never seen you out of your frame before.

 

[Glassguy]

I put 5 minutes of though into this earlier. The request has already been sent. Business as usual and if she knocks the ball back over the net, I'll play ball. If not, no big deal I'll let it sit there.

Business as usual and quick drink date this evening on another potential plate.

Thanks for the input fellas.

 

[Glassguy]

Oh boy. This one spells trouble for you. I'm really impressed by the tone of your post OP, I had never seen you out of your frame before.

I don't get a temper or upset over a chick. Too many of them out there. This was just a different situation to my dating world and I got what I was after...good input/feedback.

 

[ubercat]

Look settle down guys. A particular situation with a particular girl at a particular time can throw anyone off. It's doesn't mean that most of the time you can't handle your s***. There's no point having ego none of us are as smart as the group mind here.

 

[sazc]

I say do not rescind your friend request, ever.
If she accepts the request and sends a timely message, then great. If enough time has gone by, simply reply and say "I'm sorry, do I know you?" or something along those lines. If she friends you, and enough time goes by and she hasn't reached out, then delete.

People who add friends recklessly always go thru their friends list and weed strangers out every now and then. This would be your reasoning if someone ever noticed you unfriended her.

This is a good reason not to friend rando's on FB. IMO a better approach would have been to get her number and send her a text, or give your friend your number to give to her.

 

[Glassguy]

Look settle down guys. A particular situation with a particular girl at a particular time can throw anyone off. It's doesn't mean that most of the time you can't handle your s***. There's no point having ego none of us are as smart as the group mind here.

Thanks ubercat.

This was a curveball. Nothing more, so I brought it up on here for the think tank lol.

1st drink date tonight with a different chick went great, including her kissing all over me after we walked out. Had to cut it short due to adult responsibilities this time. Good possible plate.

I think I hold frame very well. Much better than I did even 1-2 years ago and much better than 5 yrs ago. I actually contribute a lot of that self improvement to this board and good, level headed posters who were also baptised by fire. We live and learn through trial and error. Always remembering what worked and what didn't. Abundance is certainly a key.

If this chick from the friend request reaches out, fine. If she doesn't, fine. I will continue have multiple options as to not feel hurt or upset if one option tanks. Abundance.

When one door closes, 2 more open. I like to have lots of doors open for easy entry, but also quick emergency exits lol.

 

[ubercat]

Heheh doors are good just watch out for fences. My mate got his arse hooked on a fence one day after legging it when the hubby started breaking down the door. Until then I thought that s*** only happened on the Internet

Note I don't personally approve of messing with wifeys but he didn't seem to require my approval

 

[bigneil]

A blind date in the age of smart phone photos??

 

[BeExcellent]

Tell your female friend to invite you over the next time hot teacher is coming to their home for group event or outing.

Then you meet her in person. Old school play, but effecient. Until then don't worry at all about the friend request. Just don't rescind it or do anything else to look butt hurt.

You're suave. You have all the time in the world because you have options, correct?

 

[lizardking82]

Question: why doesn't her friend give you her phone number so you can phone her and set up a date in 1-2 minues and all these "I need to send a friend request, but I sent it and she hasn't accepted it and bla bla bla" get surpassed?

 

[Bingo-Player]

Had a friend of mine (chick that I'm good friends with as well as her husband) send me a text yesterday. She said that a friend of hers asked if I was single and she was trying to get me to go on a blind date with her.

I told her no way to a completely blind date. What one chick thinks is hot, I may not. So she gives me her name and tells me if I'm interseted, the chick is expecting me to send her a fb message and get the date set up. I checked her out and she is a hot 27 yr old teacher, never married. This was yesterday. I send it, she never respond to it. Apparently now you have to friend someone to send them a message. My friend says "she's expecting the friend request". Against my better judgement I send ONLY a friend request.

24 hrs later she hasn't accepted it, but I checked it this evening and she has posted stuff on fb.

She is a teacher, it's the last week of school around here and things are busy. I think it may be a little sh!t test. My plan is to give it until tomorrow evening and it she hasn't accepted it, I will cancel the request and if she is interested she can put some investment into it and send me one later down the road.

Sh!t test? I might just be myself, indifferent and cancel it in a couple days..... no big deal. I have other plates.

I will also add that things like this do not surpeise me anymore, nor bother me.

i find women are very conscious as coming across as too available /easy

she probably thinks she shouldn't accept you because she hasn't met you yet

id leave it until the end of the week and then cancel the request

 

[SmooveMooves]

Women put a lot of value on social standing. It may be possible that after receiving the request, she checked your page and didn't like it. This depends on how you present yourself on your page, what you post, photos, etc.

You're not really being impatient. This is the internet age. Everything is instantaneous. She didn't miss the request. As soon as you sent it a giant F popped up on her smartphone's notification bar, probably with your profile picture. Notifications don't go away until you check them. She got the notification and purposely decided to ignore it. Take that how you will.

However, like other guys here have already said, you should've of just got the number from your friend. If you were worried she was ugly you could've still checked her FB and then shot a text. If she was worried you were ugly you could've sent pictures.

Unless your social media is extremely popular or well put together, you should be keeping it out of the picture for as long as possible.

 

[Glassguy]

My facebook page is solid. Around 2,000 or so friends, good profile pic and I only put adventurous pics on my fb page as well as a few pics with hot chicks around me that look as if its hard to tell if we were together or not at the time of the pics.

Yeah I told my friend to just give this chick my number and have her text me if she wanted to set something up. Heck I had to pry my friend for the chick's name so I could check her out on FB because I am dead set against complete blind dates (My time is valuable and I dont want to show up to a fat/ugly/weird acting chick and have to work my way out of the date early). I checked out her pics, she was/is cute and went from there. My friend told me that she was expecting the request so I pulled the trigger.

No sleep lost over it. She was cute and would have been a good addition, but I will just sit back and keep making other moves and see if she makes a move.