"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Never use a girls screen name without asking them for it

BBX

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My friend and I were talking about the worst fu*k ups with a girl we liked. We both had a very similiar story with our girl we were talking about, gives a lot of good signials at first, get a little oneits and then out of nowhere the girl hates you with a passion and we didn't even do anything....except get her aim screen name without asking her. No matter how normal you are online to her from getting her sn from someone else, shes gonna think of you as a stalker, and annoyance. If you want a girls screen name, ask her...I dont know if anyone else had this type of experence, but get the sn from her.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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shydude

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I once stole a girls screen name, I cracked the password and started talking **** to other people, through her screename:D.. The reason i did that, was becouse she cheated on me, then she dumped me.!!
 

VegasGuy56

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lol, I've done the exact same thing.

Back on topic, BBX is right. Even if you have her screen name, ask her for it first before IMing her out of the blue. Girls have done that to me before, and I just think, "WTF, how does this girl know who I am."
 

AB500

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Avoiding AIM altogether is a good idea accually. AIM is great at creating LJBF relationships from long conversations and the such. I try to avoid it as much as I can, I always leave my away message up and try not to talk to someone for more then 30 minutes.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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adpreston1988

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I actually have to disagree with you guys on this one. I definitely agree you need to ask the girl for her phone # (or let her give it to you) before you call her up, but aim is a lot more informal. Many girls post their aim sn on their facebook and their xanga. If they really didn't want someone contacting them via aim they wouldn't post their sn. Plus, it seems kind of awkward to ask a girl for her sn in person. Have you actually seen someone do this before? It's making too big of a deal of the entire situation, they'll probably respond, "just look it up on my facebook or get it from so and so".
 

dannowillbookem

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the aim rules...first it doesnt matter if its up on her myspace or facebook or whatever. i usually dont ask for them in person, i leave a comment on a myspace. ask her, she'll almost always tell (like you said, its informal) and if it is on there well screw that you dont have time to read everyones biography.

if you're on aim, its best to click the little eye next to your screenname right above the list portion of the buddy list...that makes you 'invisible'. you dissapear off everyones list, but you can still im. if a girl asks why you have it set like that, say something like 'so people i dont wanna talk to dont but me'.

no long conversations on aim! its pathetic, unless you get home drunk. then its kinda funny. but other than that, its hey whats up theres a new drive in theater opening etc (always have a point on aim. dont just be wondering about if the tom guy from myspace is real...aim is an engine for setting up dates and getting numbers informally.)

thats about it...oh yeah, never use a girl sn unless you asked for it from her. by her giving it to you, its a small IOI and shows your not that weird star wars kid who reads pretty girls myspaces to find their sns and bug them.
 

wavejams007

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I agree as well. There is this one girl that I used to talk to in the states, but i got her Aim from her sister, and she won't write me. In fact, she won't even talk to me now. oh well, tht is off the subject.
 

BBX

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Doing this has proven to change ioi's into she wants you to die. A lot of girls don't give their aim through myspace of facebook or whatever so your best bet is to ask for it through myspace or in person. In the end, from my friend and my aim f*ck up, he got badly ljbf (but he had no chance anyway) and the girl I wanted told two of her friends that I was a quote unquote "f*cking loser", but i'm convinced shes a lezbo.


Edit: Maybe I sound like a loser but is there anyway to check if someone blocked you on aim, without changing the screen name to see if their on?
 

adpreston1988

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Well I admit that I im a girl without asking her for her aim sn. This was because we had been leaving messages on each other's facebook wall and we're also pretty good friends in school. I didn't think I needed to ask her in person for her aim sn (it would've been too awkard) so since it was right on her facebook account I just im her and nothing was weird about it. If I never spoke to her before or didn't know her as a friend then it would be weird, but I think it just depends on the situation. We've had some great conversations on aim and I even went pedal boating with her over spring break because of it.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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pr0teus

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AB500 said:
Avoiding AIM altogether is a good idea accually. AIM is great at creating LJBF relationships from long conversations and the such. I try to avoid it as much as I can, I always leave my away message up and try not to talk to someone for more then 30 minutes.
Best piece of advice in the whole thread.
The whole point is being with girls in person, right? Anything else would be a waste of time. Like, how are you supposed to flirt online? It's just text, and the emoticons are just infantile.
 

comic_relief

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AIM is an easy way of losing someone quickly if you ask for it from someone else. Sometimes I will IM someone to ask for the homework or something. Then leave her alone. I did this once or twice.

If she gives you her sn and you live a distance away (say 5 hours) and you use it correctly. You can actually get her quite easily. I managed it before.

In reality just go sarge in real life. :rockon:

comic_relief
 

AdrenalynJunkee

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Heres how you play it off.

Put the girl on your buddylist.

When she signs on, give it a couple minutes. Then IM her. Don't pull the old "hey wats up this is joe and i just wanted to talk to you" bull. I tend to do this with unknowns on my buddylist, but it works with people you know too.

"you know..u should feel real flattered, ur on my buddylist. the bad thing, i got no clue who u are"

then they'll drop their name, example "lol its megan who r u"
you reply "megan...i know like 5 megans"
she replies "megan smith"
you "oooh i think i know you, hey its evan"
she "heyyy!"
you "so you wanted to talk to me so bad you somehow got urself on my buddylist eh, you stalker ;)"

and go from there
 

BBX

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^
I wish i knew this before, well I do now, great tip.
I'm gonna copy and paste it its so good.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Luscious

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Good observation BBX.

When I was in high school I made this mistake once and I could instantly tell it was the wrong move. It got really awkward between us just because I came off as far too interested and the screen name thing just made it creepy.

I actually kind of support using AIM or MSN to work on pickups now. I find that it works pretty well, despite the bad rap people give it around here.
 

Mr_rogers

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Luscious said:
Good observation BBX.

When I was in high school I made this mistake once and I could instantly tell it was the wrong move. It got really awkward between us just because I came off as far too interested and the screen name thing just made it creepy.
Indeed. I totally blew it with a girl because of this. I still kind of hate myself for that one...
 
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