"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Never use a girls screen name without asking them for it

BBX

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My friend and I were talking about the worst fu*k ups with a girl we liked. We both had a very similiar story with our girl we were talking about, gives a lot of good signials at first, get a little oneits and then out of nowhere the girl hates you with a passion and we didn't even do anything....except get her aim screen name without asking her. No matter how normal you are online to her from getting her sn from someone else, shes gonna think of you as a stalker, and annoyance. If you want a girls screen name, ask her...I dont know if anyone else had this type of experence, but get the sn from her.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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shydude

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I once stole a girls screen name, I cracked the password and started talking **** to other people, through her screename:D.. The reason i did that, was becouse she cheated on me, then she dumped me.!!
 

VegasGuy56

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lol, I've done the exact same thing.

Back on topic, BBX is right. Even if you have her screen name, ask her for it first before IMing her out of the blue. Girls have done that to me before, and I just think, "WTF, how does this girl know who I am."
 

AB500

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Avoiding AIM altogether is a good idea accually. AIM is great at creating LJBF relationships from long conversations and the such. I try to avoid it as much as I can, I always leave my away message up and try not to talk to someone for more then 30 minutes.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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adpreston1988

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I actually have to disagree with you guys on this one. I definitely agree you need to ask the girl for her phone # (or let her give it to you) before you call her up, but aim is a lot more informal. Many girls post their aim sn on their facebook and their xanga. If they really didn't want someone contacting them via aim they wouldn't post their sn. Plus, it seems kind of awkward to ask a girl for her sn in person. Have you actually seen someone do this before? It's making too big of a deal of the entire situation, they'll probably respond, "just look it up on my facebook or get it from so and so".
 

dannowillbookem

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the aim rules...first it doesnt matter if its up on her myspace or facebook or whatever. i usually dont ask for them in person, i leave a comment on a myspace. ask her, she'll almost always tell (like you said, its informal) and if it is on there well screw that you dont have time to read everyones biography.

if you're on aim, its best to click the little eye next to your screenname right above the list portion of the buddy list...that makes you 'invisible'. you dissapear off everyones list, but you can still im. if a girl asks why you have it set like that, say something like 'so people i dont wanna talk to dont but me'.

no long conversations on aim! its pathetic, unless you get home drunk. then its kinda funny. but other than that, its hey whats up theres a new drive in theater opening etc (always have a point on aim. dont just be wondering about if the tom guy from myspace is real...aim is an engine for setting up dates and getting numbers informally.)

thats about it...oh yeah, never use a girl sn unless you asked for it from her. by her giving it to you, its a small IOI and shows your not that weird star wars kid who reads pretty girls myspaces to find their sns and bug them.
 

wavejams007

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I agree as well. There is this one girl that I used to talk to in the states, but i got her Aim from her sister, and she won't write me. In fact, she won't even talk to me now. oh well, tht is off the subject.
 

BBX

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Doing this has proven to change ioi's into she wants you to die. A lot of girls don't give their aim through myspace of facebook or whatever so your best bet is to ask for it through myspace or in person. In the end, from my friend and my aim f*ck up, he got badly ljbf (but he had no chance anyway) and the girl I wanted told two of her friends that I was a quote unquote "f*cking loser", but i'm convinced shes a lezbo.


Edit: Maybe I sound like a loser but is there anyway to check if someone blocked you on aim, without changing the screen name to see if their on?
 

adpreston1988

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Well I admit that I im a girl without asking her for her aim sn. This was because we had been leaving messages on each other's facebook wall and we're also pretty good friends in school. I didn't think I needed to ask her in person for her aim sn (it would've been too awkard) so since it was right on her facebook account I just im her and nothing was weird about it. If I never spoke to her before or didn't know her as a friend then it would be weird, but I think it just depends on the situation. We've had some great conversations on aim and I even went pedal boating with her over spring break because of it.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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pr0teus

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AB500 said:
Avoiding AIM altogether is a good idea accually. AIM is great at creating LJBF relationships from long conversations and the such. I try to avoid it as much as I can, I always leave my away message up and try not to talk to someone for more then 30 minutes.
Best piece of advice in the whole thread.
The whole point is being with girls in person, right? Anything else would be a waste of time. Like, how are you supposed to flirt online? It's just text, and the emoticons are just infantile.
 

comic_relief

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AIM is an easy way of losing someone quickly if you ask for it from someone else. Sometimes I will IM someone to ask for the homework or something. Then leave her alone. I did this once or twice.

If she gives you her sn and you live a distance away (say 5 hours) and you use it correctly. You can actually get her quite easily. I managed it before.

In reality just go sarge in real life. :rockon:

comic_relief
 

AdrenalynJunkee

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Heres how you play it off.

Put the girl on your buddylist.

When she signs on, give it a couple minutes. Then IM her. Don't pull the old "hey wats up this is joe and i just wanted to talk to you" bull. I tend to do this with unknowns on my buddylist, but it works with people you know too.

"you know..u should feel real flattered, ur on my buddylist. the bad thing, i got no clue who u are"

then they'll drop their name, example "lol its megan who r u"
you reply "megan...i know like 5 megans"
she replies "megan smith"
you "oooh i think i know you, hey its evan"
she "heyyy!"
you "so you wanted to talk to me so bad you somehow got urself on my buddylist eh, you stalker ;)"

and go from there
 

BBX

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^
I wish i knew this before, well I do now, great tip.
I'm gonna copy and paste it its so good.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Luscious

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Good observation BBX.

When I was in high school I made this mistake once and I could instantly tell it was the wrong move. It got really awkward between us just because I came off as far too interested and the screen name thing just made it creepy.

I actually kind of support using AIM or MSN to work on pickups now. I find that it works pretty well, despite the bad rap people give it around here.
 

Mr_rogers

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Luscious said:
Good observation BBX.

When I was in high school I made this mistake once and I could instantly tell it was the wrong move. It got really awkward between us just because I came off as far too interested and the screen name thing just made it creepy.
Indeed. I totally blew it with a girl because of this. I still kind of hate myself for that one...
 
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