"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Never tell anyone you are insecure, ugly, stupid.

Warrior74

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1. Tell anyone you are insecure.
2. That you are ugly.
3. That you are stupid.
4. That you are not very good at what you do.
5. That you don't feel you are good enough.

I have a coworker in his early 20s who says at least one of these on nearly a daily basis. He's a wreck. He oscillates from trying to hard to be 'the man' to being a sad wrech begging for approval because he's not good enough. It's off putting. Completely off putting. He want's so badly to fit in, he doesn't fit in.

If you feel this way about yourself. Deal with the matter. If you are insecure, find out what it is you are insecure about and challenge it head on. Insecure with women? Talk to more of them. Insecure about your body. Go to the gym. But whining about it and doing nothing is not allowed in manhood. Children and women get to do that.

Think you are ugly? Get a new haircut. Dress nice. Tell yourself you are attractive. For a man attractive and being physcially beautiful to women are not the same thing. It's who a man is that women find attractive.

Think you are stupid? Well smarten up. Real stupid people think they know it all. Being smart enough to know that you don't know everything is a great starting place and puts you far above the ignorant people who think they got it all covered. But keep it to yourself and learn all you can.

Don't think you are good enough? Well you are. You beat out millions of other sperm just to get here. You started off a winner. Everyone feels that way some times. Everyone. Again. EVERYONE. It's what they DO about it that counts. If you give up, then you aren't good enough. If you assess your game plan, double your efforts and push through and try, then you are good enough.

Do something about this stuff, just don't blab it out there like my coworker. And at first I thought he just blabbed it to me because he liked me as an older brother type. But, I've come to find out that he blabs it to everyone one. Men and women...and he wonders why he's painfully single. This is why. He's built a reputation as a loser for himself. He did this to himself. Don't be like that. Shut your trap, fix your problems. If you can't fix it, at least don't show your hand. This is manhood.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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pinhas

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A+

Completely agree with this; you are what you make yourself to be, and what you think of yourself.

Telling others that stupid/ugly/incompetent/etc is pointless; I don't see any reason someone would tell people these things, this should not even be an issue. Telling it to yourself is harder to get over and is where the real battle is.

Good Post!
 

Atom Smasher

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Good one, Warrior. It would be nice if he could read this, but of course he wouldn't get it.

Any chance of getting him plugged into this site?

In any case, +1. Short & sweet.
 

Huffman

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Yeah, very important! I'd like to add - even if you feel good about yourself and are absolutely rocking, don't even say the stuff just to be modest!

I know some cool people who keep playing themselves down, thinking it's modest and witty, but it's not! The only time to play yourself down is when you really really feel passionately about something, and even then you don't tell it to strangers!

Never be too proud - but never be too modest either! It annoys people just the same.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Mike32ct

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Agreed. Never play the sympathy card. Even if you succeed in getting someone to feel sorry for you, what have you gained? You've gained nothing and like Warrior points out, you hurt your reputation.

As a side note, don't think for one second that whining to your female friend(s) about your dating troubles is going to help. She's NOT going to help your game or fix you up with her friend. At best, you become the lost puppy she feels sorry for. At worst, you are the sorry b&tch she is sort of friends with but secretly resents.
 
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