"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Never tell anyone you are insecure, ugly, stupid.

Warrior74

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2008
Messages
5,106
Reaction score
230
1. Tell anyone you are insecure.
2. That you are ugly.
3. That you are stupid.
4. That you are not very good at what you do.
5. That you don't feel you are good enough.

I have a coworker in his early 20s who says at least one of these on nearly a daily basis. He's a wreck. He oscillates from trying to hard to be 'the man' to being a sad wrech begging for approval because he's not good enough. It's off putting. Completely off putting. He want's so badly to fit in, he doesn't fit in.

If you feel this way about yourself. Deal with the matter. If you are insecure, find out what it is you are insecure about and challenge it head on. Insecure with women? Talk to more of them. Insecure about your body. Go to the gym. But whining about it and doing nothing is not allowed in manhood. Children and women get to do that.

Think you are ugly? Get a new haircut. Dress nice. Tell yourself you are attractive. For a man attractive and being physcially beautiful to women are not the same thing. It's who a man is that women find attractive.

Think you are stupid? Well smarten up. Real stupid people think they know it all. Being smart enough to know that you don't know everything is a great starting place and puts you far above the ignorant people who think they got it all covered. But keep it to yourself and learn all you can.

Don't think you are good enough? Well you are. You beat out millions of other sperm just to get here. You started off a winner. Everyone feels that way some times. Everyone. Again. EVERYONE. It's what they DO about it that counts. If you give up, then you aren't good enough. If you assess your game plan, double your efforts and push through and try, then you are good enough.

Do something about this stuff, just don't blab it out there like my coworker. And at first I thought he just blabbed it to me because he liked me as an older brother type. But, I've come to find out that he blabs it to everyone one. Men and women...and he wonders why he's painfully single. This is why. He's built a reputation as a loser for himself. He did this to himself. Don't be like that. Shut your trap, fix your problems. If you can't fix it, at least don't show your hand. This is manhood.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

pinhas

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 7, 2009
Messages
212
Reaction score
3
Location
NYC
A+

Completely agree with this; you are what you make yourself to be, and what you think of yourself.

Telling others that stupid/ugly/incompetent/etc is pointless; I don't see any reason someone would tell people these things, this should not even be an issue. Telling it to yourself is harder to get over and is where the real battle is.

Good Post!
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,657
Reaction score
6,614
Age
69
Location
The 7th Dimension
Good one, Warrior. It would be nice if he could read this, but of course he wouldn't get it.

Any chance of getting him plugged into this site?

In any case, +1. Short & sweet.
 

Huffman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2007
Messages
1,499
Reaction score
166
Yeah, very important! I'd like to add - even if you feel good about yourself and are absolutely rocking, don't even say the stuff just to be modest!

I know some cool people who keep playing themselves down, thinking it's modest and witty, but it's not! The only time to play yourself down is when you really really feel passionately about something, and even then you don't tell it to strangers!

Never be too proud - but never be too modest either! It annoys people just the same.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,411
Reaction score
5,176
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
Agreed. Never play the sympathy card. Even if you succeed in getting someone to feel sorry for you, what have you gained? You've gained nothing and like Warrior points out, you hurt your reputation.

As a side note, don't think for one second that whining to your female friend(s) about your dating troubles is going to help. She's NOT going to help your game or fix you up with her friend. At best, you become the lost puppy she feels sorry for. At worst, you are the sorry b&tch she is sort of friends with but secretly resents.
 
Top