"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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nervous or disinterested?

lamobatsman

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How do you know if a girl is nervous or just not into you??

and does a DJ make a premature decision and walk away rather than stay longer than he needs to?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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lamobatsman

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no context just a general question.

im just interested in what real DJ does. Can a real DJ spot the difference?
 

lamobatsman

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if you want an example-
i went out with a girl on a date for dinner in london. i wasnt sure if she was nervous about meeting or just not into me. we had plans to go to a bar and club after dinner.

i stayed after dinner and went to the bar and club with her friends. was it best to leave after dinner?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Mike32ct

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Ok.

I'll give you my GENERAL rule for first dates...

How the date actually goes means nothing. The only way to tell if she's interested is to try for a kiss at the end.

1. She walks fast to her car or keeps plenty of distance to avoid kissing you - No interest

2. She turns her face so you end up kissing her cheek - No interest

3. She kisses your lips or makes out with you (or more lol) - Interested

I don't really think in terms of her being nervous or not. It's always about interested versus not interested.
 

lamobatsman

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Mike32ct said:
Ok.

I'll give you my GENERAL rule for first dates...

How the date actually goes means nothing. The only way to tell if she's interested is to try for a kiss at the end.

1. She walks fast to her car or keeps plenty of distance to avoid kissing you - No interest

2. She turns her face so you end up kissing her cheek - No interest

3. She kisses your lips or makes out with you (or more lol) - Interested

I don't really think in terms of her being nervous or not. It's always about interested versus not interested.

thanx. good advice
 

Mike32ct

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The reason I say this is I've had 50 or 60 of these dates that "appeared" to go very well. The girl was smiling, laughing, and/or very talkative. But try to text or call her after the date? No response.

Looking back, the only common denominator I saw was the lack of a proper kiss. I tried but she wasn't having it.

So don't ever be fooled just because she appears to enjoy the date. You could be totally rejected or in friendzone, but the girl might still just enjoy the company, food, drinks, etc. She might seem like your dream girl with a great connection, but she has no intention of ever speaking to you again.

The kiss test is a much better indicator IME.
 

Harry Wilmington

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What Mike32ct said. If she's not willing to kiss you, it's a no go.

In answer to your direct question, though: Yes, you should have left after dinner. Or, you should have found another activity where it would just be you and her. Going dancing with her friends, or meeting up with her friends, or running into them and agreeing to party with them - regardless of how the friends got mixed in with the date, it was a no-go. Friends shouldn't even be met until you've taken her out for at least 3 months - that way, you're established enough to where her friends' opinion of you won't make her sway.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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VladPatton

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I agree with Mike32. The kiss is a big indicator. Sometimes YOU may not feel like going in fir the kiss. It is a great gauge for you or her.

I also agree with Harry. You throw friends in the mix and ṣhit gets fücked up very quickly. Happened to me several times. When she insists to meet up with friends always, it means she doesn't want to be alone with you. Cut your losses at that point...punch out, Maverick!

As far as nervousness or disinterest goes: who cares? They are both detrimental to you getting this girl. If she's too timid and would rather stay home and knit instead of getting a boyfriend, fücking, and living a cool life, well then that's her decision. Once again, it would benefit you 0%. You can't make her do anything.

Nice and timid doesn't get you far in life.
 

dvjackson

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You can detect nervousness in how their hands act, a nervous girl will grasp things, adjust her dress, tap her fingers on things, rub her fingers together, etc. Or she'll go to the other end of the spectrum and keep her hands still and closed(but this will be betrayed in how quickly she moves her hands when she does things). It's like how a liar will either avoid eye contact or maintain it constantly.
 
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