"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Nervous girls

twistedi

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I've had a couple of dates recently where the girl has got nervous and is not cool, calm and relaxed. Just wondered what you guys thought how best to make them feel a bit more relaxed.

Me, so far they start to talk more and more and then I go quiet and nothings happens!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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twistedi

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F*ck you! Excuse my behaviour, I have a condition! Ha, only joking, sorry Mr, thanks for your interest.

Elaboration...

Online date hookup No1
It was difficult to gauge her first reactions but she seemed happy at my appearance, but just starts to talk so quickly, she then starts talking even faster. I'm pretty sure that it was a nervous thing. After an hour I feel like I'm just saying yes, yes, yes, yes and I start to zone out. I want to make her feel relaxed but I don't know what to do. I'm a slow talker, intelligent but I enjoy my pauses, and she seems like she has taken speed or, more likely, neat caffeine! I start zoning out after a while and can't keep up, another hour and she goes to the toilet, comes back and makes a rubbish excuse that she has to leave.

Online date hookup No2
I didn't really fancy this one but I tried to get into her as much as possible. She is so so nervous, keeps sweeping her hair back and asking question after question after question. I think that she even rehearsed them or had a list. Any minute silence she asks another question. Tbh, I never fancied her but I still wanted to put her at ease more quickly.

So, how do I put a girl at ease? I felt like I was too relaxed myself but I probably didn't make enough stupid jokes or make enough banter.
 

Dali_tx_o

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A slight tease or a joke about them being nervous/talking too fast might make them conscious about that fact and give them an opportunity to slow down;

A simple call out "Are you always this nervous, or is it only when you're with someone like me?, followed by a big grin might make everything bit easier ;)
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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twistedi

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Also, the main thing is that I should try to be more relaxed and open myself. If anything is obvious and I'm thinking about it then I should point it out in a nice and respectful way.
 

Plutoman

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In my experience so far, nervousness is fairly common for girls when they are with a guy they like. They are concerned about what you'll think of them.

Tease them (dali's comment is excellent, I second it), give them smiles, relax and they'll slowly relax. I'd push with them, don't wait around for them to get comfortable - strike while the iron's hot.
 

twistedi

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You say 'push with them', do mean mean make a move?

Or just push as far as you can, touch, smile, joke etc. On both occasions I felt like I should have touched them, a nice strong hand to calm them.

Yeah, teasing is good, I should do more of that for sure.
 
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