"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Nervous girls

twistedi

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I've had a couple of dates recently where the girl has got nervous and is not cool, calm and relaxed. Just wondered what you guys thought how best to make them feel a bit more relaxed.

Me, so far they start to talk more and more and then I go quiet and nothings happens!
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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twistedi

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F*ck you! Excuse my behaviour, I have a condition! Ha, only joking, sorry Mr, thanks for your interest.

Elaboration...

Online date hookup No1
It was difficult to gauge her first reactions but she seemed happy at my appearance, but just starts to talk so quickly, she then starts talking even faster. I'm pretty sure that it was a nervous thing. After an hour I feel like I'm just saying yes, yes, yes, yes and I start to zone out. I want to make her feel relaxed but I don't know what to do. I'm a slow talker, intelligent but I enjoy my pauses, and she seems like she has taken speed or, more likely, neat caffeine! I start zoning out after a while and can't keep up, another hour and she goes to the toilet, comes back and makes a rubbish excuse that she has to leave.

Online date hookup No2
I didn't really fancy this one but I tried to get into her as much as possible. She is so so nervous, keeps sweeping her hair back and asking question after question after question. I think that she even rehearsed them or had a list. Any minute silence she asks another question. Tbh, I never fancied her but I still wanted to put her at ease more quickly.

So, how do I put a girl at ease? I felt like I was too relaxed myself but I probably didn't make enough stupid jokes or make enough banter.
 

Dali_tx_o

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A slight tease or a joke about them being nervous/talking too fast might make them conscious about that fact and give them an opportunity to slow down;

A simple call out "Are you always this nervous, or is it only when you're with someone like me?, followed by a big grin might make everything bit easier ;)
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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twistedi

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Also, the main thing is that I should try to be more relaxed and open myself. If anything is obvious and I'm thinking about it then I should point it out in a nice and respectful way.
 

Plutoman

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In my experience so far, nervousness is fairly common for girls when they are with a guy they like. They are concerned about what you'll think of them.

Tease them (dali's comment is excellent, I second it), give them smiles, relax and they'll slowly relax. I'd push with them, don't wait around for them to get comfortable - strike while the iron's hot.
 

twistedi

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You say 'push with them', do mean mean make a move?

Or just push as far as you can, touch, smile, joke etc. On both occasions I felt like I should have touched them, a nice strong hand to calm them.

Yeah, teasing is good, I should do more of that for sure.
 
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