So say your in the approach already and you start getting nervous DURING the approach. Like today just a few minutes ago even, I was talking to this Kaara girl and I had no problem starting the chat or even getting interest from her, but dude I was hella nervous. This is uncommon for me, because usually I'm not nervous during the approach or I'm just nervous before the approach. Advice is appreciated.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Nervous DURING the approach?
- Thread starter ElStud
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
If it's happening, I can think of a few possible explanations:
1) You were tired.
2) She was not doing a good job of making you comfortable; for example, she may have been very untalkative, which put the entire strain of making conversation on you.
3) You had oneitis for her.
4) You tried too hard beforehand to think up something interesting to say.
If you're doing a good job of living in the moment, not thinking ahead for clever thinks to say, not trying to impress her, and not yearning desperately for some smooth way to #-close, then she probably just wasn't doing a good job of making you comfortable. Some girls just make guys nervous, and it's usually because they have poor conversation skills. The upside is that every other guy will have the same problem with her, so if you really want her for whatever reason, you will not be at a disadvantage.
1) You were tired.
2) She was not doing a good job of making you comfortable; for example, she may have been very untalkative, which put the entire strain of making conversation on you.
3) You had oneitis for her.
4) You tried too hard beforehand to think up something interesting to say.
If you're doing a good job of living in the moment, not thinking ahead for clever thinks to say, not trying to impress her, and not yearning desperately for some smooth way to #-close, then she probably just wasn't doing a good job of making you comfortable. Some girls just make guys nervous, and it's usually because they have poor conversation skills. The upside is that every other guy will have the same problem with her, so if you really want her for whatever reason, you will not be at a disadvantage.
MikeYikes122
Master Don Juan
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- May 16, 2003
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^^^ Obsidian makes a lot of good points. I've always noticed if I'm tired as hell I suck at cold approaching. I also need to be in a good mood/have a clear head.
Are you nervous when you're talking to the chick? If so, don't force anything. If the she isn't being talkative with you, just politely move along. It's not a big deal.
Are you nervous when you're talking to the chick? If so, don't force anything. If the she isn't being talkative with you, just politely move along. It's not a big deal.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.