"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Nervous around alphas, what can I do?

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ikkenai

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I see other guys around who obviously still live in a AFC lifestyle, and I know I've exceeded them. But I've never been DJ-calibre. This is the first time in my life that I've tried to compete at DJ level. Going for the hotter girl, talking the talk, playing the dating game, dressing at my peak, working out... I'm living it, not just fogging up the glass in awe.

But there's always those DJ's out there who are a lot farther along, who've been natural DJs since grade school. One might dress more adventurously, one may have the nicer ride, one might have bigger muscles... Despite trying to rationalize things, telling myself "there's nothing this guy is that I can't be," I still find myself intimidated!

"Why does he have the girl?" "What does he have that I don't?" "What is he doing that I'm not?" "Does he look down on me?" This are the kinds of AFC thoughts that I'm reduced to in their presence. Nothing breaks down my confidence quicker seeing a girl getting hot over another man's game, and it never fails to remind me just how far I am from having authentic confidence.

Back when I put girls on pedestals, I would project my OWN expectations of "what is she thinking?" on them. I've overcome that, but I still do it for guys, I guess.

Resentment? Fear? I dunno. Any ideas?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Dapper Swindler

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Let go of your envy. Learn from these people. At least learn to act like they do. Once you understand that you can pretend to be them. Psychology of Achievement says that if you pretend to be something you will eventually become it.
 
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FreeStyleZ

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Get that hate out cha blood playa.... nobody likes a hater.
 
S

Sexual

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Originally posted by FreeStyleZ
Get that hate out cha blood playa.... nobody likes a hater.
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Well that was helpful. I guess the saying less is more really comes to mind when some people talk.

Good advice by Dapper, I was the same way. Everyone feels a little nervous sometime but just keep working at it. You sound like you're on the right track.
 
J

JT47319

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Learn from them. Observe them. Wing with them.


And when the time is right... The student becomes the Master.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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chicksrock

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fvck those other alpha guys..
you don't need them...

you continue to work on yourself and improve yourself and make yourself unique...

you live in your reality ..
do what pleases you ..
block everything else out ..
work on your progress...

"RUN YOUR OWN RACE"

you said you only just started to get into DJ game...
so chill bro...
i bet you have improved yourself more in a couple of months than you did in your entire life..
so give yourself some more time ..
and soon enough you will be a god to those other alpha guys...

if you don't know how the game already works.. then i guess it is helpful to observe what these other alpha guys do..

good luck!
 
B

biker_gixxer

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Originally posted by JT47319
Learn from them. Observe them. Wing with them.


And when the time is right... The student becomes the Master.
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I agree.
 
S

Six-String Samurai

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Many, many people in here will say that the number one thing that helped them with their game is learning from an established DJ. I know I had such a "master" myself. His advice, coupled with the vast wealth of information on this site gave me the tools I needed to become who I wanted to be.

If your desire is as high as I think it is, you will have such a motivation as well to learn from these gurus. Like the others said: befriend one, two, three of them, and find out what makes them tick. Never take anything verbatim or as 100% truth, but rather piece together your own truth from the game of others until you find a system that feels right for you. Once you have that framework, you can lean back into it and feel comfortable projecting your game from a position that is natural, and not forced. Such is the way of the DJ.
 
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ikkenai

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Thanks for the advice, guys. Maybe I should be looking for an influential figure to learn from up close.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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D

DJD

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Good responses from all. Even before I read any of the responses to the original post, I thought, man... don't start hating on those other guys (and especially don't hate on them in front of chicks, making fun of them - it just communicates your insecurities).

I will be very honest and say that two of the guys whom I disliked most in my life were because they were everything I wanted to be and knew I wasn't. It was that they were outgoing/outspoken, popular, gregarious, bold, confident, assertive - usually the center of attention. I ultimately had to admit to myself that I was jealous of/hating on them because of those qualities.

I also will echo what many DJs said - learn what you can from them. Behavior, fashion/style, etc.
 
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il_duce

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Originally posted by Six-String Samurai
If your desire is as high as I think it is, you will have such a motivation as well to learn from these gurus. Like the others said: befriend one, two, three of them, and find out what makes them tick. Never take anything verbatim or as 100% truth, but rather piece together your own truth from the game of others until you find a system that feels right for you. Once you have that framework, you can lean back into it and feel comfortable projecting your game from a position that is natural, and not forced. Such is the way of the DJ.
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That is the best advice in this thread so far. :cool:
 
B

blitzin'

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I agree that you should act the part of an alpha, the only thing I have to add is what type of Alpha you should act like. There is the stupid ignorant ass type who steps on others he deems lower than him to make himself look and feel superior, we'll call these guys the Pseudo- Alpha's, and then there is the real alpha the guy who's confident enough not to put others down and maintains a mature possitive outlook under all circumstances, these are the guys you want to hang with and try to be like. The Pseudo's are fake. A DJ is about confidence and being possitive, not putting other people down to make themselves look better. A real Alpha will also treat you with respect and try to help you become more possitive and confident.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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