Nervous Anxiety problem on dates HELP!

[Ryan]

I know this is pathetic, but I get super nervous on dates, that I choke, and cant be my real self. The only exception is if I am dating a fat/black girl lol ,then I am calm.

When I have a date/ go clubbing, I have to have a drink in me (or do an hour long mediation session), otherwise I malfunction.

This has been a recent phenonmen, which started a few years ago.

Wondering what I can do to change my mindset frame?

What do you do to not get nervous on dates?

FYI: I am as cool as a cucumber during interviews at Fortune 500 companies lol

Please reply to this maturely.

Thank You and have a wonderful day gents!

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! @Igetit! @3agle3yes @MrWood @dude99 @RangerMIke @marmel75
@logicallefty @VladPatton @sph21 @Alvafe @Mauser96 @Julian @JohnChops @Mazer @Desdinova @sph21@MidnightCity @deesade @guru1000 @Dash Riprock @ubercat @

 

[MrWood]

FYI: I am as cool as a cucumber during interviews at Fortune 500 companies lol

but you dont have a job at one... clue

 

[Ryan]

but you dont have a job at one... clue

So do you have any suggestions about the issue we discussing?

 

[marmel75]

Stop placing so much importance on the women and start believing they need to impress you.

 

[wifehunter]

The only exception is if I am dating a fat/black girl lol ,then I am calm.

Start there then. Get some practice, then move on.

 

[sazc]

Honestly, I think one solution to this is to date in abundance. Eventually you will get comfortable about the process.

In the mean time, meditate. Also consider hitting the gym very close to the date. Get an hour long workout in. Give yourself enough time to shower and get to the date. That will probably help.

Mostly you need to start believing in yourself.

 

[skinnyguy]

Imagine that the girl is ugly

 

[RangerMIke]

Wondering what I can do to change my mindset frame?

What do you do to not get nervous on dates?

FYI: I am as cool as a cucumber during interviews at Fortune 500 companies lol

Please reply to this maturely.

Let go of expectation. You are nervous because you have some idea of how things are going to go and you worry that you will do something that will screw that up. You learn this in combat... The only way you can function in a battle is if you go into it like you are already dead. Otherwise you will get so paralyzed with fear you will not be able to do the things you need to do. But if you are worried about if you are going to survive.

Don't get inside your own head and over think sh!t. Just be in the present, and don't worry about what might happen, just let things flow and go with it. Learn from the past and let it become part of your sub-conscious... the only way this happens is if you practice an allow things to become instinctual.

 

[sazc]

I STRONGLY recommend this book for anxiety issues.

https://m.barnesandnoble.com/w/what-to-do-when-you-worry-too-much-dawn-huebner/1100682535

I got it for my son, who clearly inherited my penchant to worry. He and I worked thru the book together. We read it together and did the exercises together and we BOTH benefited.

It's an inexpensive start to learning what your anxiety issues are about and how to overcome them.

Stop watering your tomato's!!

 

[sph21]

Wondering what I can do to change my mindset frame?

Stop putting too much pressure on the end result. If you put too much pressure on yourself while on a date, your energy will be too focused on your worries instead of having fun. You're there to have fun and to qualify her whether she's worthy of you.

What do you do to not get nervous on dates?

I was like you. I used to be so worried to have a date because I worried too much about what will her think of me and my date ideas. Now, I just go with the flow--which is to have fun. If you're too nervous to have a conversation with a new girl, then you can exercise talking with as many strangers as you can. This will build your confidence slowly and will help you when you're on a date with the girl.

Solid confidence can only be built from small accomplishments. You can even use your bad experiences in the past to strengthen it. You can say something like this to yourself in your mind, "I'd been through hell and survived. This little matter is not a problem for me."

If the girl doesn't enjoy you or your date idea, so what? It's better to cut your loss short and dump her. She won't be compatible with you in the long run, anyway.

Your purpose on a date is to really find out whether her interest level is high enough before, during, and after the date. You wouldn't want to be with a girl who has less than high interest.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Date more

 

[Mazer]

The best way to help with dating anxiety is very simple- date a lot of girls. When you are going out with 2-3 different women per week your anxiety will go away. You will get to a point where you treat all dates like a game, how fast can I kiss her and get the lay.

 

[ohrein]

The only way to conquer fear is to face it. I would do some soul searching to try and figure out exactly what it is you fear about dating women. Knowledge is power. Once you know what you're fighting, work on reassuring yourself with CBT during dates and just face the fear as often and with as much courage as possible. There's no short cuts with this stuff, unfortunately.

 

[ubercat]

Curiosity helps. Prep a few conversation starter questions and try and get to know this girl as a human being. If she's doing most of the talking you're more likely to get bored than nervous

Tiredness also helps like the guys said date a lot you ll b so shagged u couldn't care less.

 

[Murk]

Few shots and a line of coke do the trick