Negotiating with your woman.

[Focal core]

There is a lot of the feminine imperative in this belief system Focal core. Love exists within the blood line family unit. Mother and children. Siblings. Etc.

I am not telling you what to think. I am just offering an opposing viewpoint that could possibly prevent failure in the future.

As you may already know, women do not love in the sense that men do. Men have a type of biological protection impulse. Couple this with modern programming, he is prone to failure because he doesn’t fully grasp the brutal failure coming to him because he doesn’t fully grasp his proper position or her innate drives.

Just like the forces that couple together a woman’s dualistic sexual strategy and hypergamous feminine freedom to “without repercussions” is just as disastrous.

You have grown up where the insidious use of the word “love” is actually used to manipulate men do to the coupling of protection as his basic drive and the supposed duty to serve women. It has been bastardized. He should only protect the worthy and allow to succumb to the world those that are destructive.

There is not “love” between a man and a woman that is anything close to what you wrote. You still think there is hope in that destructive for man AND women, paradigm.

Presently, with that belief system, you are susectable to being wrecked and discarded. Which is exactly what she is designed to do, biologically. She may feel bad but it won’t stop her from doing it. It doesn’t work that way brother. You still tightly hold on to that belief system and it can potentially kill you.

You are not alone. I see it all over the threads. Even those who profess to be hard core. I can see between the lines their tenacious hold on the old world. (What we call BP world).
If they have gotten rid of it, they would be at peace and actually love women for what they are. Sometimes when I write there are plenty who see anger and some who want to say “who hurt you” like they have been trained to do by their BP paradigm of prancing through the tulips in love. That lingering hope is what kills them. Accept your place and remember you owe no woman or man a damn thing. They advance due to your good graces.

Wow.. Bro.. You're obviously deeply wounded.. Have you considering on getting help?

You just wrap the world and all the people in it in the same group.. Obviously on AWALT terminology.

People are the same but they grow differently.

Thanks for the heads up tho.. And no im not giving up in genuine human connection ever.

 

[manfrombelow]

You lead, she follows. You set the frame, she operates in it. Anything else guarantees disasters.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Epimanes,
" the captain always steers the ship..."....
Not Really,in my book it's the hand that wanks the Captain that steers the ship!

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

A man’s purview is leadership and dominance. A woman’s purview is sphere of influence.

You don’t have to read far in either Art of Seduction or 48 Laws of Power to see how a savvy influencer can steer a leader.

These things should be complimentary and an effective leader understands this dynamic and manages it optimally. When the leader is run by the influencer the leader has already succumbed his leadership to the influencer.

And many a skilled woman understands this. It can be a long process. But over throw of a leader begins in lack of respect.

That is why it is nice to be loved but necessary to be respected.

Read that again & let it sink in.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I have, as of yet, been unable to find a woman who will accept that role in an LTR. And that is also why I am still single. I either seem to attract women who constantly try to call the shots and then try to argue/debate until the sun comes up, or it's simply that those kind of women are the only single ones left in the dating pool past 30 (especially the attractive single ones).

 

[Mike32ct]

The captain is asleep. First officer crashes the ship. ~Titanic

 

[BeExcellent]

I disagree about solipsistic nature pervading all women. To suggest that is to suggest that no women are serving a greater purpose than self interest. There are women who serve a greater purpose than self, just as there are men who are just as solipsistic, which is merely a fancy word for selfish and self interested.

A whole chapter exists in 48 Laws of Power about this self interest business and it is certainly not the exclusive domain of women.

People are largely solipsistic. It is not a gender specific phenomena.

This is why character is so important. If you are seeking based on character you will select less self interest driven people, although I do agree & acknowledge that all people are of necessity self serving to some degree. Self respect accounts for self interest as well.

So to impugn women categorically as self serving is an exercise in silliness based in red pill dogma. All people are solipsistic to large measure. There are two halves to the whole.

 

[BeExcellent]

Lol. Anyone can read definitions. I do just fine & I have a fulfilling life. Your rhetoric doesn’t affect me at all. Your posts make it appear as though all women are takers. They simply are not (although many are, great ones are not. That’s why you don’t see the grearin the market except rarely. Men recognize quality women & lock them down for life. They get taken off the market.)

I do not “need” a man to serve me. However I enjoy men as people and am fortunate for the life & blessings I have.

Cheers

 

[mrgoodstuff]

totally agree with you that birds of the same flock fly togheter

the only problem is that we live in a very polarized world , people that are somewhere in the middle tend to disappear slowly but surely

i Think that america is a really good example of this , and soon the rest of the “civilized world “

"Tend to dissapear"?

 

[metalwater]

There is a lot of the feminine imperative in this belief system Focal core. Love exists within the blood line family unit. Mother and children. Siblings. Etc.

I am not telling you what to think. I am just offering an opposing viewpoint that could possibly prevent failure in the future.

As you may already know, women do not love in the sense that men do. Men have a type of biological protection impulse. Couple this with modern programming, he is prone to failure because he doesn’t fully grasp the brutal failure coming to him because he doesn’t fully grasp his proper position or her innate drives.

Just like the forces that couple together a woman’s dualistic sexual strategy and hypergamous feminine freedom to “without repercussions” is just as disastrous.

You have grown up where the insidious use of the word “love” is actually used to manipulate men do to the coupling of protection as his basic drive and the supposed duty to serve women. It has been bastardized. He should only protect the worthy and allow to succumb to the world those that are destructive.

There is not “love” between a man and a woman that is anything close to what you wrote. You still think there is hope in that destructive for man AND women, paradigm.

Presently, with that belief system, you are susectable to being wrecked and discarded. Which is exactly what she is designed to do, biologically. She may feel bad but it won’t stop her from doing it. It doesn’t work that way brother. You still tightly hold on to that belief system and it can potentially kill you.

You are not alone. I see it all over the threads. Even those who profess to be hard core. I can see between the lines their tenacious hold on the old world. (What we call BP world).
If they have gotten rid of it, they would be at peace and actually love women for what they are. Sometimes when I write there are plenty who see anger and some who want to say “who hurt you” like they have been trained to do by their BP paradigm of prancing through the tulips in love. That lingering hope is what kills them. Accept your place and remember you owe no woman or man a damn thing. They advance due to your good graces.

this is a zero-sum-world.

 

[metalwater]

I have, as of yet, been unable to find a woman who will accept that role in an LTR. And that is also why I am still single. I either seem to attract women who constantly try to call the shots and then try to argue/debate until the sun comes up, or it's simply that those kind of women are the only single ones left in the dating pool past 30 (especially the attractive single ones).

Accept for a widow, why would an attractive (8+) woman be available that is over 30? Really think about how biology, women, and men work and what they will do. In what alternate universe does a 30 years old good-looking woman that is "submissive, helpful, loyal... supportive and fun to be around" available. How possibly could that happen? It can not, by definition is impossible. Yet do we still look for it? haha.

Just manage one or several and live. Don't forget to have fun.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Accept for a widow, why would an attractive (8+) woman be available that is over 30? Really think about how biology, women, and men work and what they will do. In what alternate universe does a 30 years old good-looking woman that is "submissive, helpful, loyal... supportive and fun to be around" available. How possibly could that happen? It can not, by definition is impossible. Yet do we still look for it? haha.

I have actually pondered it and the story I've made up for myself is that there are plenty of single women out there who's marriages didn't work out because of something the guy did wrong. But I know I'm lying to myself about it because it is more likely that the divorce was her fault, and when I say "fault," I mean that it was either something she did wrong or her inability to commit or stay happy with any one man that resulted in the marriage ending.

I do agree with BeExcellent though - Good women over do 30 exist, and divorce isn't always the woman's fault. It's just that it's extremely rare to find these women - so rare that it isn't really realistic. It is hard enough finding a woman who takes care of her appearance and weight above 30, let alone one who is single, let alone one who is able to function in a healthy relationship.

I will say that it does sound fishy for a bunch of single guys to sit around complaining about how women are incapable of healthy relationships, and that decent single women don't exist. The obvious counter-argument would be that it is us who have the problems that keep us from enjoying health relationships. But I am TRULY hoping the day will come where someone will tell me something that changes my mind, or can explain to me how the acts of my exes were my fault and what I could have done to make the relationships work. The fault I do take responsibility for is that I didn't screen the women well enough, and that I was too forgiving.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Very interesting comments @TheFinalLine

While I have definitely read a lot about the female biological imperative and breeding strategy theories (mostly from Rollo), and I have seen much of it in action, I haven't heard it being linked to screening in such a way as to suggest that screening is useless. Your point does make sense to me though. In thinking about it, I can definitely come up with examples that reinforce your point.

Once her desire is engaged she has a different persona. It is truly a breeding program to further the human race. Her endocrine system compels her to this. All the while, she will begin piling up all the justifications as to why she can’t say away from that man or most likely men. society has a long list of justifications canned and ready to go for her. She will use them. It’s a survival point. She relieves the tension her analytical mind forces on her “that it is wrong”. It must be justified to ease her mind.

A friend of mine broke up with his GF two years ago because she was too insecure/anxious/controlling. I would describe him as a masculine man who understands red pill though he does want a wife and to have children (he is 30). This same girl got engaged to a guy about a year after she and my friend broke up. The guy looks like a blue pill provider type. She recently reached back out to my friend for a booty call and it took place. Her blue pill fiance will likely never find out. I see examples of things like this all the time, so I agree with you. What I don't know is if your 1% number is accurate. I'd LIKE to think the number is higher than 1% but I have no proof and think that a lot of what happens is never caught/detected by a spouse/BF.

Every blow up by her for asking the right questions, is…..ALWAYS CAUSED BY ANOTHER MAN OR MEN IN THE PICTURE.

I think this statement is the only thing in your post that I'm on the fence about. While I do agree that this is the cause in many situations, I don't know that believe it's ALWAYS the cause. For example, in the case of the last girl I dated for 18 months, I genuinely don't think other men were involved. From day one she was jealous and insecure of me and constantly worried I was cheating on her. She picked a lot of fights with me about it and tried making a lot of demands of me - you must block this ex on FB, you shouldn't set your phone face-down on the table, you shouldn't ever hang out with your friends if this one girl (who I've never slept with) is there too, you should show me your communications with some other girl that you had before you and I became exclusive etc etc etc. I could provide pages of examples. Most people would say this is likely reflection - that SHE was cheating so she was projecting that onto me and accusing me. However, I just never felt like that was happening with this particular girl and once and only once I went through her phone and found nothing. Sure, she could have been good about hiding/deleting conversations but if she was hiding it, I didn't find it. Rather I assumed the reason for the constant conflict initiation from her was due to her frustration that she wanted to turn me into a beta provider (or at least a person who would fully submit to her every demand) but I wouldn't allow it, and this drove her absolutely nuts. I'm open to alternative thoughts on this whole subject though - both my theory as well as whether or not women's behavior is "always" due to other men.

 

[BeExcellent]

The solution (for a woman) that avoids this dualistic strategy (as Final Line puts it) is to only accept men who meet both sets of needs in the same man OR become a woman who does not need a man to provide for her. I have done both. I do not need a man to provide for me…and I have always chosen men based in desire. If there is no desire on my part? Fail. I don’t care who the dude is or what he has. In effect, I do not settle.

Therefore because I desire my partner there is no need to seek sexual attention outside my partner and in fact there is motivation to loyalty and protection of the partnership. I have always been this way.

And I require a man to have his life & act together as well. I have to be wary at times of “Good Time Charlies” who might be handsome & charming but are looking for a Sugar Mama. Pass. So I always pay attention to be sure that’s not what I’m dealing with. I’ve seen well off women get fleeced by such men. No thank you, lol.

But. In order to be a woman who can afford to be that choosy you have to be top shelf. You (as a woman) have to be physically appealing and bring other tangibles and intangibles to the table. High quality men for whom sex itself is a commodity require more than a pretty face and hot body for relationships. Finding sex is easy; finding a quality partner is harder. A woman who operates from a place of desire and who is a quality partner will never lack for good choices.

But women of this caliber are rare out there in the wild.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

Who thinks this should be a male-only forum?

 

[metalwater]

I have actually pondered it and the story I've made up for myself is that there are plenty of single women out there who's marriages didn't work out because of something the guy did wrong. But I know I'm lying to myself about it because it is more likely that the divorce was her fault, and when I say "fault," I mean that it was either something she did wrong or her inability to commit or stay happy with any one man that resulted in the marriage ending.

I do agree with BeExcellent though - Good women over do 30 exist, and divorce isn't always the woman's fault. It's just that it's extremely rare to find these women - so rare that it isn't really realistic. It is hard enough finding a woman who takes care of her appearance and weight above 30, let alone one who is single, let alone one who is able to function in a healthy relationship.

I will say that it does sound fishy for a bunch of single guys to sit around complaining about how women are incapable of healthy relationships, and that decent single women don't exist. The obvious counter-argument would be that it is us who have the problems that keep us from enjoying health relationships. But I am TRULY hoping the day will come where someone will tell me something that changes my mind, or can explain to me how the acts of my exes were my fault and what I could have done to make the relationships work. The fault I do take responsibility for is that I didn't screen the women well enough, and that I was too forgiving.

You know your own mind,heart,brain better than any other. You know your own codes and if you live by them or not. it is all you, you know and none other knows you better than you.

One of the most difficult lessons for me is that respect is based on strength, not kindness. I don't mean cruelty I mean strength.

When I say US and we I include myself; we or most of us have not been strong and instead either mean or kind or alternate between those. Because we did not know what it means. When we correct that, and it takes time the reflection of the world changes.

As for the women, the laws of infinity tells me that it is possible that a true and (insert all the things we like) women does exist and would be delighted to be w/ me. Never met that one. I have seen a couple of men in my life that are everything a man should be and they did well in LTR. An older women but younger than me that has been flipping through different players is not what I would want, or a woman that trashed a lazy beta or a sloppy alpha. I am very very unique and second best is not ok. I don't want to die because the Dr. is too busy fking the girl that said she was with me.

Try to find the truth in the fact that women are like cats and will stay only when it is a good deal. Dogs are like men and will fight to the death out of loyalty. Cats go hunt down dk, Dogs fk everything in site.

 

[BeExcellent]

At least you were honest enough to admit that the biology exists for these men. You also supplied the narrative solution put out by the girl world.

Biology isn’t curable in less than a few 100,000 years of an impetus severe enough (mass or horrible threats of extinction) to prompt adaptation.

Just as you know that a man’s biology subjects him to easily being manipulated. It’s not going away.

Your First solution is impossible or there wouldn’t be an inherent and observable dualistic sexual strategy encoded in a woman’s biology. Poor women are taught to get a man with both yet you don’t have one. I remember looking back on some of your old posts. Not so long ago you were so in love with a man like your father. All was well.

You also left out how it is impossible to maintain the “in-love” state. Sure there are all kinds of teachers and this and that but it has now been medically proven. Your desire will wain from “in-love” with him to “I love him”. To “he’s so controlling when I try to execute my biological sexual nature and he is purposely blocking it instinctively”, to “I will never settle again”

I really do wish you the best.

I always loved him. Was always “in love” with him. But he was also quite broken. Ex military, PTSD, bipolar one, NPD and under the care of a psychiatrist through the VA. I knew everything. I always helped him. But he was unstable with all that going on in his mind. One day he flipped on me during a random esoteric conversation after a good deal of wine. Assaulted me. I walked away and never looked back. If I cannot trust him with my physical safety I cannot remain with him.

So it was not at all as you assume. Not at all. Since the assault he has told several mutual friends he still loves me. He creeps my social media. He has shown up places he knows I frequent.

But he revealed himself to be unstable and potentially dangerous. I cannot allow that in my life; and I have teens at home. I cannot have him around my children.

Notwithstanding the fact that my ex husband will move to strip my maternal rights if I allow him back in my life. Rightly so. So I had to walk away and not look back.

Your assumptions simply do not apply to me. I was not raised to seek a provider. I was raised by an “alpha” and an esteemed leader of men. So I know what to look for. And I do not settle.

And no I am not “alpha widowed”. I realized that he was incapable of being the man I require. Therefore I mourned that relationship, made peace with it and healed.

And I move forward with an open heart. That has served me well.

 

[BeExcellent]

Back to the content of the OP:

As in all negotiations the party with greater value is in the stronger negotiation position. Male/female interpersonal dynamics are no different.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Who thinks this should be a male-only forum?

While I agree with you, it's pointless. I am glad some of the women on this site at least let it be known. Otherwise you'd just have them posing as men like some are already doing on here.

 

[BeExcellent]

I do not have assumptions. I wasn’t even thinking about you. There was nothing in this thread about you yet your entire purpose was to extract and separate yourself from the observable, and self evident phenomena. It did not separate you out into a glorious uniqueness. It solidified you as a perfect example of the phenomena.

Your post above was telling and more disclosing than you could possibly know. Sometimes it’s best to say nothing.

Meh. I share openly as I do without prejudice. It doesn’t affect me one way or another. You are bound by the limitations of your dogma just as I am bound by mine.

Just as it is for all of us. We are all bound by our belief systems, whatever they may be.

I still thoroughly appreciate men, love the players and playboys, and am currently in a relationship with a man I enjoy. So life is good.

Cheers