Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Negotiating with your woman.

Status
Not open for further replies.

oOh Nasty

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 23, 2002
Messages
1,086
Reaction score
281
Age
38
It's pretty common knowledge here now, so this is more of a lamentation because I see many instances of this with couples in LTRs almost all of the time.

A man worth his salt should always be making the final decisions on things big or important. His woman can suggest things, but at the end of the day, she should always look up to and respect any of the decisions he makes. This is especially important in marriages and the longest lasting marriages have always had this traditional dynamic.

I've seen too often dudes "negotiating" things with their wives as a way of appeasement. When something makes total sense (e.g.: a house purchase at a good location), the wife will sometimes throw in her contrary opinion as a sh!t-test, and the dude will fail it.

This doesn't mean to not take anything she suggests into consideration. He definitely should take her words into consideration and use logic to assess whether it's a good idea or not. But at the end of the day, she should always understand that he's the Executive decision maker and she's the Assistant Secretary who has the freedom to voice an opinion or suggestion and it's at his discretion whether to put that advice to use or not.

The other side of this is that, the man can definitely delegate certain things to her control, but that's only because the issue he's given her control over has become miniscule compared to the things he currently has to put focus on. A lot of guys just take it too far and seem insincere and out-of-control when they get all bent up on what the wife wants the family to have for dinner.

This is kind of moot, however, for the dudes who have decided to get into LTRs with feminists. But for the regular LTRs it's good to be aware of whether the discord is based on normal womanly sh!t-testing, based on the need to push for gender-equality ideals, or if she really does have your interest in mind and knows something you don't know.
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,540
Reaction score
2,838
Age
50
Ask your Grandparents how they had 50 year marriages. Most of them will say Mutual Respect.

We aren't going to go back to 1950's gender roles anytime ever so don't think you can just tell her "this is how it is". Instead you have to earn the respect and communicate about how you are the Captain and she is the First Mate. You better earn that respect from your actions leading up to that moment. The same as leading an organization.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
2,795
Reaction score
2,136
Ask your Grandparents how they had 50 year marriages. Most of them will say Mutual Respect.

We aren't going to go back to 1950's gender roles anytime ever so don't think you can just tell her "this is how it is". Instead you have to earn the respect and communicate about how you are the Captain and she is the First Mate. You better earn that respect from your actions leading up to that moment. The same as leading an organization.
Yeah to be honest this is a really disingenuous post because your comparing a time when women had no birth control to when they did, which completely changes this conversation... Mutual respect went far when they had no birth control, to suggest today it goes just as far is a ridiculous notion in my mind.
 

Epimanes

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2012
Messages
1,276
Reaction score
615
Age
45
It's the "captain and first officer" dynamic.... the captain always steers the ship....
 

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
4,684
Reaction score
4,301
Ask your Grandparents how they had 50 year marriages. Most of them will say Mutual Respect.

We aren't going to go back to 1950's gender roles anytime ever so don't think you can just tell her "this is how it is". Instead you have to earn the respect and communicate about how you are the Captain and she is the First Mate. You better earn that respect from your actions leading up to that moment. The same as leading an organization.
Mutual respect may be part of it but at the end of the day, you can't have two presidents, two prime ministers, two CEO's, etc. running things. Someone has to be in charge.
 

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
1,497
Reaction score
2,631
It's pretty common knowledge here now, so this is more of a lamentation because I see many instances of this with couples in LTRs almost all of the time.

A man worth his salt should always be making the final decisions on things big or important. His woman can suggest things, but at the end of the day, she should always look up to and respect any of the decisions he makes. This is especially important in marriages and the longest lasting marriages have always had this traditional dynamic.

I've seen too often dudes "negotiating" things with their wives as a way of appeasement. When something makes total sense (e.g.: a house purchase at a good location), the wife will sometimes throw in her contrary opinion as a sh!t-test, and the dude will fail it.

This doesn't mean to not take anything she suggests into consideration. He definitely should take her words into consideration and use logic to assess whether it's a good idea or not. But at the end of the day, she should always understand that he's the Executive decision maker and she's the Assistant Secretary who has the freedom to voice an opinion or suggestion and it's at his discretion whether to put that advice to use or not.

The other side of this is that, the man can definitely delegate certain things to her control, but that's only because the issue he's given her control over has become miniscule compared to the things he currently has to put focus on. A lot of guys just take it too far and seem insincere and out-of-control when they get all bent up on what the wife wants the family to have for dinner.

This is kind of moot, however, for the dudes who have decided to get into LTRs with feminists. But for the regular LTRs it's good to be aware of whether the discord is based on normal womanly sh!t-testing, based on the need to push for gender-equality ideals, or if she really does have your interest in mind and knows something you don't know.
If she genuinely trusts you and respects you (and you respect her as well), your role in the relationship will be always that of a leader. Women appreciate a man they can trust, respect, and leads them. Simple.

Modern Man Advice
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,540
Reaction score
2,838
Age
50
Mutual respect may be part of it but at the end of the day, you can't have two presidents, two prime ministers, two CEO's, etc. running things. Someone has to be in charge.
In a Relationship each person has a different strength. You have to play to those strengths. That is how a couple is stronger together than alone. I work in an organization where my boss, the CEO, gives me the ultimate authority on a project and certain execution of a goal. He recognizes that I understand it better than he does. You should have that sort of understanding with each other and delegate, but not abdicate responsibility..
 

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,195
Reaction score
2,497
Age
124
What guys fail to understand

Guys , it is game over ! :)

stop trying to fix something that passed the point of no return …

You just have to rethink the whole women thing , basically moving a way from a lion alpha game , to a more scavenger game

 

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
4,684
Reaction score
4,301
In a Relationship each person has a different strength. You have to play to those strengths. That is how a couple is stronger together than alone. I work in an organization where my boss, the CEO, gives me the ultimate authority on a project and certain execution of a goal. He recognizes that I understand it better than he does. You should have that sort of understanding with each other and delegate, but not abdicate responsibility..
And who sets the goals and decides which projects to pursue? Just because the CEO does not micromanage everything you do does not mean that you are equals.
 

oOh Nasty

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 23, 2002
Messages
1,086
Reaction score
281
Age
38
If she genuinely trusts you and respects you (and you respect her as well), your role in the relationship will be always that of a leader. Women appreciate a man they can trust, respect, and leads them. Simple.

Modern Man Advice
This much is obvious. My point is that a lot men don't care to do something about the lack of respect they have from their spouse. But then again, it isn't a surprise as all of these men are blue-pill and find ways to rationalize that how their wife views and treats them is okay.
 

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,860
Reaction score
2,428
Location
Australia
Chicks love the boring detail of life. Let them decide all that crap and make the big decisions. Simples. The best advice I ve heard on LTRs is say less and occasionally listen to her with out offering solutions.
 

Focal core

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
1,537
Reaction score
1,202
Age
43
What guys fail to understand

Guys , it is game over ! :)

stop trying to fix something that passed the point of no return …

You just have to rethink the whole women thing , basically moving a way from a lion alpha game , to a more scavenger game

And still men really thought their 100k salary will keep him shooting at the barrrel full of fish.
 

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,195
Reaction score
2,497
Age
124
And still men really thought their 100k salary will keep him shooting at the barrrel full of fish.
unless you go to a country that is not that touched by feminism ( usually the poor ones are not that touched , but women are quite materialistically ) , makes no sense to play this alpha guy in ltr ( and try to dominate the woman )

she will just resent you for it

usually , even in the countries touched by feminism , the small town girls for a while are good for ltr , but it is very likely that at some point she will change . So expect this
 

Focal core

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
1,537
Reaction score
1,202
Age
43
unless you go to a country that is not that touched by feminism ( usually the poor ones are not that touched , but women are quite materialistically ) , makes no sense to play this alpha guy in ltr ( and try to dominate the woman )

usually , even in the countries touched by feminism , the small town girls for a while are good for ltr , but it is very likely that at some point she will change . So expect this
It doesnt made any sense at any part of the world to create money as attractive factor luring in women.. They will cave in but only transactional term. Its the most loneliest situation to be in relationships with such ingenuity.

People love each other due to mutual respect along with admiration to each other. Money is just a tool for living. You wouldnt want a girl leaching on you so she could living a life and after a man that she truly desires.
 

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,195
Reaction score
2,497
Age
124
It doesnt made any sense at any part of the world to create money as attractive factor luring in women.. They will cave in but only transactional term. Its the most loneliest situation to be in relationships with such ingenuity.

People love each other due to mutual respect along with admiration to each other. Money is just a tool for living. You wouldnt want a girl leaching on you so she could living a life and after a man that she truly desires.
yeah , the only problem with what you said that unfortunately it is a Disney movie

A woman is set naturally to be dependent on a guy for whatever reason : financial aspects , attention , etc

so in any way you put it , you have to bring some sort of value ( that she deems important )

women rarely( almost never ) stay with a guy just because he is a cool guy , or just because he is funny
 

Focal core

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
1,537
Reaction score
1,202
Age
43
yeah , the only problem with what you said that unfortunately it is a Disney movie

A woman is set naturally to be dependent on a guy for whatever reason : financial aspects , attention , etc

so in any way you put it , you have to bring some sort of value ( that she deems important )

women rarely( almost never ) stay with a guy just because he is a cool guy , or just because he is funny
People has its own values and flaws and emotion.. The difference is what they deemed to believe in which value are most valueable to them. And are set in their thinking and reflect their emotional response.

This difference in human resulting different vibe that people are projecting to the world and it never fail to attract friends/gf/bf in the same wavelength as themselves.

A higher emotional level classy men will attract a same value women (i must say u might be familiar with this yourself)

A lower hanging fruit will be attractive to their counterpart.

Value is very subjective to every person.depending on their emotional growth.

Its never the $$ when it comes to natural genuine attraction. Unless you never had a grasps of what value are you projecting to the people around you?

Edited
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,936
Reaction score
12,147
Location
DFW, TX

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,195
Reaction score
2,497
Age
124
People has its own values and flaws and emotion.. The difference is what they deemed to believe in which value are most valueable to them. And are set in their thinking and reflect their emotional response.

This difference in human resulting different vibe that people are projecting to the world and it never fail to attract friends/gf/bf in the same wavelength as themselves.

A higher emotional level classy men will attract a same value women (i must say u might be familiar with this yourself)

A lower hanging fruit will be attractive to their counterpart.

Value is very subjective to every person.depending on their emotional growth.

Its never the $$ when it comes to natural genuine attraction. Unless you never had a grasps of what value are you projecting to the people around you?

Edited
totally agree with you that birds of the same flock fly togheter

the only problem is that we live in a very polarized world , people that are somewhere in the middle tend to disappear slowly but surely

i Think that america is a really good example of this , and soon the rest of the “civilized world “
 

Focal core

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
1,537
Reaction score
1,202
Age
43
totally agree with you that birds of the same flock fly togheter

the only problem is that we live in a very polarized world , people that are somewhere in the middle tend to disappear slowly but surely

i Think that america is a really good example of this , and soon the rest of the “civilized world “
Totally understood that deteriorating of values in modern world. These "flock" usually the ones that depends on outside validation to feel alive.. Yessss moneyyyyy.. Flashy cars, big house.. And for what??? For the outside world to validate them as authenthic joyful lucky bastard who inherited the world??

Deep down theres a hole/void that cant be never filled.. Truly i feel for these type people. Boredom are their best pal.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top