DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2007
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^^^this applies to poor unattractive males only
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
I think it has more to do with family than bullying. Kids from strict families that discipline them a lot tend to display socially awkward behavior later on in life.JaegerPilot217 said:I also heard that being bullied a lot in childhood can make a person socially awkward later on in life
It's both. The strict families produce a very quiet, studious kid that becomes a bigger target for bullying. So he gets shyte from his parents AND other kids.HowardHughesDicaprio said:I think it has more to do with family than bullying. Kids from strict families that discipline them a lot tend to display socially awkward behavior later on in life.
I guess it just snowballs early onMike32ct said:It's both. The strict families produce a very quiet, studious kid that becomes a bigger target for bullying. So he gets shyte from his parents AND other kids.
Even if the kid never gets bullied per se, being ignored and left out will F him up over time and make him more socially awkward.
It's all the perfect storm for social awkwardness. It starts out genetic as Pair says, then add in the strict parents like HHD just said, then add in being rejected/ignored and/or bullied as I noted, and you sadly may have an intelligent kid with potential being royally screwed socially and even career-wise through no fault of his own.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You see this happen in certain cultures a lot more often, particularly with Asians and Indians here in America. Middle Eastern guys get it to a small extent but their dads raise them to be more masculine. Indians and Asians have those overly protective kind of parents that beat them for the smallest things, make them socially awkward, and in the end you have a kid with the best grades and even a degree from a good university that struggles with women. I think your post might have explained why we have so many Asian and Indian AFCs who whine about not being able to get girls of other races.Mike32ct said:It's both. The strict families produce a very quiet, studious kid that becomes a bigger target for bullying. So he gets shyte from his parents AND other kids.
Even if the kid never gets bullied per se, being ignored and left out will F him up over time and make him more socially awkward.
It's all the perfect storm for social awkwardness. It starts out genetic as Pair says, then add in the strict parents like HHD just said, then add in being rejected/ignored and/or bullied as I noted, and you sadly may have an intelligent kid with potential being royally screwed socially and even career-wise through no fault of his own.
Yes, success stories do exist but they are not common. Most of these kids (Asians and Indians) will go off to well respected schools and have their parents pay for their college. A lot of them will probably major in what their parents demand they major in and then live socially awkward lives in college that involve studying, junk food, and videogames. Most of these guys will walk out of college as virgins and not realize they just missed out on the best 4 years of their lives. Reason being that these guys were too busy trying to convince themselves that their nerdy lifestyle was superior, they longed for the hot girls on campus but had no realistic shot of being with them. They will continue to sham the idea of getting laid in college and pre-marital sex while deeply wanting it.JaegerPilot217 said:I guess it just snowballs early on
Yes, this applied to me. When you go to school, and you get treated like crap, it affects your self esteem. Way worse when you are younger. The scars lasted a long time. I had difficulty in college due to this. I never really hung out with more than a couple close friends and never did I have any success with women. I didnt lose my virginity until 29! I know, its embarassing, but its the truth. But it all changed tho, thanks to this site, and changes I made for myself. I'm no longer an introvert, no longer a chump like I used to be. I have friends, I have women. I was a late bloomer but it's all worth it now.JaegerPilot217 said:I also heard that being bullied a lot in childhood can make a person socially awkward later on in life
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Glad you changed thatdonjuanapprentice01 said:Yes, this applied to me. When you go to school, and you get treated like crap, it affects your self esteem. Way worse when you are younger. The scars lasted a long time. I had difficulty in college due to this. I never really hung out with more than a couple close friends and never did I have any success with women. I didnt lose my virginity until 29! I know, its embarassing, but its the truth. But it all changed tho, thanks to this site, and changes I made for myself. I'm no longer an introvert, no longer a chump like I used to be. I have friends, I have women. I was a late bloomer but it's all worth it now.