"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Needing some Dating Advice

Zephyranthes

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Recently getting into some dating, and had a few questions I don't have answers for yet.

Recently picked up a decent lady, i've known her for a while so getting the number wasn't REALLY that difficult, but the difficulty is I have no intent of going anywhere with this girl, i'm not very much attracted to her, I was just testing myself to see if I could hold my cool on my approach. Any advice on how to handle a girl you really don't want to get involved with, but just want to test yourself on? I guess it's up to me to not advance it any further than i'm willing to go?

Another question would be a past hookup attempt I had, bad times, played all the wrong moves and definitely sure she sees me as just friends at worst, and a long-term kind of guy at best. She recently unveiled she's pregnant, which is personally one of my bigger turn offs, but she's the type of chick I still wouldn't mind laying one of these days. She's mentioned she might "just wake up and want to date (me) 6 months from now", and while she doesn't know it's entirely out of the question for a solid relationship, I could use some advice on how to handle that if it comes up. Keep playing the no-challenge-chump for a while, or will switching things up and playing disinterested work against me since the only way she's seen me so far is desperate and needy?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Iceberg

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Zephyranthes said:
Recently getting into some dating, and had a few questions I don't have answers for yet.

Recently picked up a decent lady, i've known her for a while so getting the number wasn't REALLY that difficult, but the difficulty is I have no intent of going anywhere with this girl, i'm not very much attracted to her, I was just testing myself to see if I could hold my cool on my approach. Any advice on how to handle a girl you really don't want to get involved with, but just want to test yourself on? I guess it's up to me to not advance it any further than i'm willing to go?
How to handle her? Keep doing whatever worked in the first place.


Another question would be a past hookup attempt I had, bad times, played all the wrong moves and definitely sure she sees me as just friends at worst, and a long-term kind of guy at best. She recently unveiled she's pregnant, which is personally one of my bigger turn offs, but she's the type of chick I still wouldn't mind laying one of these days. She's mentioned she might "just wake up and want to date (me) 6 months from now", and while she doesn't know it's entirely out of the question for a solid relationship, I could use some advice on how to handle that if it comes up. Keep playing the no-challenge-chump for a while, or will switching things up and playing disinterested work against me since the only way she's seen me so far is desperate and needy?
She's pregnant and talking about maybe wanting to date you 6 months from now? Hm. What should you do here? My first recommendation would be to grow a pair of balls. One you have those, you'll maybe use them to find women who aren't knocked up with someone else's kid, and trying to use you for stability once she pops it out.

I mean, I don't know. Maybe you live in a sh*t hole. But most successful, ambitious men around my part of the world don't go planning on dating chicks who are currently knocked up by another guy and already trying to lay groundwork to find the next guy. That's not normally the path of a confident, intelligent man.

Yeah. I'd say you should start by growing some balls. Does that help?
 

Zephyranthes

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Iceberg said:
Yeah. I'd say you should start by growing some balls. Does that help?
I'm not planning on serious dating, it'd be just messing around to me, I have no intent on staying with her in any form or providing for her or her kiddo should she come back around.
 

Iceberg

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Zephyranthes said:
I'm not planning on serious dating, it'd be just messing around to me, I have no intent on staying with her in any form or providing for her or her kiddo should she come back around.

It still sounds like you're dumpster diving. But hey good luck with that.
 

Zephyranthes

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Iceberg said:
It still sounds like you're dumpster diving. But hey good luck with that.
Everyone starts somewhere, i'm not going to turn around and be perfect with the ladies after years of being a chumpbucket. Might as well get something out of the past time wasted on her ya know?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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