"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Needing some Dating Advice

Zephyranthes

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Recently getting into some dating, and had a few questions I don't have answers for yet.

Recently picked up a decent lady, i've known her for a while so getting the number wasn't REALLY that difficult, but the difficulty is I have no intent of going anywhere with this girl, i'm not very much attracted to her, I was just testing myself to see if I could hold my cool on my approach. Any advice on how to handle a girl you really don't want to get involved with, but just want to test yourself on? I guess it's up to me to not advance it any further than i'm willing to go?

Another question would be a past hookup attempt I had, bad times, played all the wrong moves and definitely sure she sees me as just friends at worst, and a long-term kind of guy at best. She recently unveiled she's pregnant, which is personally one of my bigger turn offs, but she's the type of chick I still wouldn't mind laying one of these days. She's mentioned she might "just wake up and want to date (me) 6 months from now", and while she doesn't know it's entirely out of the question for a solid relationship, I could use some advice on how to handle that if it comes up. Keep playing the no-challenge-chump for a while, or will switching things up and playing disinterested work against me since the only way she's seen me so far is desperate and needy?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Iceberg

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Zephyranthes said:
Recently getting into some dating, and had a few questions I don't have answers for yet.

Recently picked up a decent lady, i've known her for a while so getting the number wasn't REALLY that difficult, but the difficulty is I have no intent of going anywhere with this girl, i'm not very much attracted to her, I was just testing myself to see if I could hold my cool on my approach. Any advice on how to handle a girl you really don't want to get involved with, but just want to test yourself on? I guess it's up to me to not advance it any further than i'm willing to go?
How to handle her? Keep doing whatever worked in the first place.


Another question would be a past hookup attempt I had, bad times, played all the wrong moves and definitely sure she sees me as just friends at worst, and a long-term kind of guy at best. She recently unveiled she's pregnant, which is personally one of my bigger turn offs, but she's the type of chick I still wouldn't mind laying one of these days. She's mentioned she might "just wake up and want to date (me) 6 months from now", and while she doesn't know it's entirely out of the question for a solid relationship, I could use some advice on how to handle that if it comes up. Keep playing the no-challenge-chump for a while, or will switching things up and playing disinterested work against me since the only way she's seen me so far is desperate and needy?
She's pregnant and talking about maybe wanting to date you 6 months from now? Hm. What should you do here? My first recommendation would be to grow a pair of balls. One you have those, you'll maybe use them to find women who aren't knocked up with someone else's kid, and trying to use you for stability once she pops it out.

I mean, I don't know. Maybe you live in a sh*t hole. But most successful, ambitious men around my part of the world don't go planning on dating chicks who are currently knocked up by another guy and already trying to lay groundwork to find the next guy. That's not normally the path of a confident, intelligent man.

Yeah. I'd say you should start by growing some balls. Does that help?
 

Zephyranthes

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Iceberg said:
Yeah. I'd say you should start by growing some balls. Does that help?
I'm not planning on serious dating, it'd be just messing around to me, I have no intent on staying with her in any form or providing for her or her kiddo should she come back around.
 

Iceberg

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Zephyranthes said:
I'm not planning on serious dating, it'd be just messing around to me, I have no intent on staying with her in any form or providing for her or her kiddo should she come back around.

It still sounds like you're dumpster diving. But hey good luck with that.
 

Zephyranthes

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Iceberg said:
It still sounds like you're dumpster diving. But hey good luck with that.
Everyone starts somewhere, i'm not going to turn around and be perfect with the ladies after years of being a chumpbucket. Might as well get something out of the past time wasted on her ya know?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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