Neediness

[Shashank]

How to regain attraction after being needy?

Currently we r not texting each other... If I text her she will reply soon but one word... Doesn't agree to meet up...

(I've kissed n made out with her before)

 

[Black Widow Void]

Sorry to say, but if this was just a make out session (and not a relationship) , she may not be invested enough for this to be turned around.

Under these circumstances, the best advice I can offer ... is for her to perceive you as being detached. This means no texting or "showing up" anywhere that you think she may appear. She can't miss you or wonder about you.. if you are always there to remind her of your availability.

Again, I don't see this one as having a favorable outcome. If you want to give it a shot, again... you need to give off the impression that you are indifferent and detached. If you two share social media, don't over do it, but a photo of you with another gal (and having fun) will not hurt.

It's now up to her to reach out. Because there was no longevity or depth between you two, I don't see this as very likely... but that's your only hope.

If she does reach out, post here again and we'll help you come up with the next plan.

Good luck.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

How to regain attraction after being needy?

Currently we r not texting each other... If I text her she will reply soon but one word... Doesn't agree to meet up...

(I've kissed n made out with her before)

The only thing you can do is move on. Sometime in the future she may get bored or lonely and hit you up and give you another small window of opportunity, but for now all hope is lost.

If you keep reminding her who you are this window may never open again. So go ghost and let her wonder what happened.

Move on to another chick.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

The short answer is, you generally can't. It's 99% up to her. The 1% you can do is what Black Widow Void outlined - Stop contacting her and wait for her to contact you. You can't actively rebuild attraction. You can only passively rebuild it by NOT initiating conversation and waiting for her to come to you. This means you can't fix it with your actions. You can't take action to MAKE her want you again. She can only decide to want you again on her own, and the best chance you have of her wanting you again is to make yourself scarce, but even that is an extremely low chance. So best to move on, focus on other women, and if she comes back, then great, but don't hold your breath.

 

[Shashank]

Sorry to say, but if this was just a make out session (and not a relationship) , she may not be invested enough for this to be turned around.

Under these circumstances, the best advice I can offer ... is for her to perceive you as being detached. This means no texting or "showing up" anywhere that you think she may appear. She can't miss you or wonder about you.. if you are always there to remind her of your availability.

Again, I don't see this one as having a favorable outcome. If you want to give it a shot, again... you need to give off the impression that you are indifferent and detached. If you two share social media, don't over do it, but a photo of you with another gal (and having fun) will not hurt.

It's now up to her to reach out. Because there was no longevity or depth between you two, I don't see this as very likely... but that's your only hope.

If she does reach out, post here again and we'll help you come up with the next plan.

Good luck.

Thanks man I love what u wrote.... She was qualifying by saying many dudes propose to her (say I love u n ****) n showed me screenshots...
The condition is she is young n when I kissed her she gave me this closed lip kiss n I thought she didn't want to kiss me but she was smiling the whole time and after that she said people kiss after getting into a relationship but not before..... She said I'm too fast.... Do u think she's inexperienced? .....She has many guy frnds... If she's inexperienced then she might think I'm jus using her for sex n now avoiding me right?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

How to regain attraction after being needy?

Currently we r not texting each other... If I text her she will reply soon but one word... Doesn't agree to meet up...

(I've kissed n made out with her before)

Have sexual relations with another for about three months.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Thanks man I love what u wrote.... She was qualifying by saying many dudes propose to her (say I love u n ****) n showed me screenshots...
The condition is she is young n when I kissed her she gave me this closed lip kiss n I thought she didn't want to kiss me but she was smiling the whole time and after that she said people kiss after getting into a relationship but not before..... She said I'm too fast.... Do u think she's inexperienced? .....She has many guy frnds... If she's inexperienced then she might think I'm jus using her for sex n now avoiding me right?

When someone provides a perspective that we do not like, we can attempt to 'rationalize' an alternative situation/outcome that we may find more desirable. This isn't a put down to you or anything, I've done it myself.

Think back on a situation that you are now completely removed from. You can probably look back with one of those 'palm against the forehead' moments and think to yourself .. "what was I thinking back then?" The problem is... (and I've been there myself; we all have) ... is that when we are emotionally invested, we also become emotionally clouded against the facts. It's normal.

Even though I'm older, I'm still not immune to the "haze." It's just part of life. The only benefit to getting older is that we can recognize our distortive views and realize that we aren't being objective or self-objective. That is when we ask for opinions from someone that isn't within the 'equation' to offer their perspective

With the above being expressed, I still stand by my original response to your posting.

 

[Shashank]

When someone provides a perspective that we do not like, we can attempt to 'rationalize' an alternative situation/outcome that we may find more desirable. This isn't a put down to you or anything, I've done it myself.

Think back on a situation that you are now completely removed from. You can probably look back with one of those 'palm against the forehead' moments and think to yourself .. "what was I thinking back then?" The problem is... (and I've been there myself; we all have) ... is that when we are emotionally invested, we also become emotionally clouded against the facts. It's normal.

Even though I'm older, I'm still not immune to the "haze." It's just part of life. The only benefit to getting older is that we can recognize our distortive views and realize that we aren't being objective or self-objective. That is when we ask for opinions from someone that isn't within the 'equation' to offer their perspective

With the above being expressed, I still stand by my original response to your posting.

Damnn.... Eye opening... I like ur reply.... Maybe I'm jus making up scenarios to avoid accepting the fact that she lost interest n moved on found someone new.... Thanks for putting things in perspective man...

 

[oldmanofthesea]

She was qualifying by saying many dudes propose to her (say I love u n ****) n showed me screenshots...

My response would have been to laugh and say, "Awww, it's so cute you are trying to impress me!"

and after that she said people kiss after getting into a relationship but not before..... She said I'm too fast.

My response would have been to laugh and say, "I guess you must like me so much that you're willing to break your own rules!"

She is drowning in options and you are not responding in a way that sets yourself apart from the rest of the guys so she simply enjoyed the attention from you and is now moving past you to continue searching for a guy who is more of a challenge to her, a bigger catch.

 

[6_Magnet]

How to regain attraction after being needy?

Currently we r not texting each other... If I text her she will reply soon but one word... Doesn't agree to meet up...

(I've kissed n made out with her before)

GET OTHER GIRLS

 

[Black Widow Void]

Damnn.... Eye opening... I like ur reply.... Maybe I'm jus making up scenarios to avoid accepting the fact that she lost interest n moved on found someone new.... Thanks for putting things in perspective man...

We have all had these 'humbling' moments. It's not fun, that's for sure. Even if we discover that a female situation is not salvageable, we can still "win" from a different angle. If we learn from a past experience, we can choose to become a 'newer and improved' version of our self. The more we learn, the more we modify our game and... the better chance for a favorable future outcome.

I've had as many failures here as anyone else. The difference between half of us here... is that some of us learn, improve and get better with girls. The other half, become bitter, blame women and criticize new forum members for their mistakes.

You seem to be on the "right side" of things, my friend.

Good luck with future encounters.