"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Need Urgent Help!

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ink_wizard

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Hey fellas,

I am in a really bad situation at the moment. I am in a long distance relationship with a girl from another country. We have been dating for nearly 3 months now and are both totally in love with each other and are planning to visit each other before the years end. I am crazy about this girl despite her living on the other side of the world, we skype heaps and message each other constantly all day everyday.

Heres the problem, two weeks ago i cheated on her with another girl whose suppose to be my "friend". We were at a party together and she was flirting with me and next thing has it we started making out......i feel extremely guilty and ashamed for letting it get to that. She has promised not to tell my gf but she has stopped contacting me since our date which is weird because usually she always contacts me and is now all of a sudden friends with my gf on facebook which has weirded me out...i dont know what to make of this and i hope she doesnt open up her mouth....

i cant bring myself to tell my gf because the kiss meant nothing to me and if she ever found out it would totally break her heart....this is why i cant tell her but should i??? do you think i should be worried here or should i just shut up and suck it up and hope she never finds out? PLEASE HELP! im going crazy here.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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P

PeakIV

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With all due respect these long distance relationship things are tough to stick to at the best of times.

Not wanting to be disspespectful but how do you know she is not going through the same dllema?
 
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ink_wizard

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PeakIV said:
With all due respect these long distance relationship things are tough to stick to at the best of times.

Not wanting to be disspespectful but how do you know she is not going through the same dllema?
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because i dont think she is the type to do that to me. she is crazily inlove with me and all her friends know it (i speak to them) and she even wants to marry me....anything is possible i guess but i highly doubt she'd cheat on me....
 
I

ink_wizard

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Why would you tell her? Did she ask?
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because im scared the girl i made out with might spill the beans to her..... an no she hasnt asked.
 
P

PeakIV

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play it by ear that's all you can do...My motto is - if in doubt deny everything...
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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I

ink_wizard

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yes i agree, although before i made out with this girl i did send her some flirty text messages and yes i know that was foolish of me i was lonely and my sex drive got the better of me but hopefully she hasnt saved these and if she has im screwed cos she'll use this as evidence.....
 
Atom Smasher

Atom Smasher

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Ink Wizard, how old are you? You should put it in your profile.

Like Peak says you need to play this one by ear. Your anxiety is the price you pay for betraying trust. All you can do is let it rest and see what happens.

Long distance relationships are rarely worth it. The anxiety level is always high, and you end up having the most severe oneitis for someone who isn't even around. Very bad formula for a man's well-being.
 
I

ink_wizard

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Atom Smasher said:
Ink Wizard, how old are you? You should put it in your profile.

Like Peak says you need to play this one by ear. Your anxiety is the price you pay for betraying trust. All you can do is let it rest and see what happens.

Long distance relationships are rarely worth it. The anxiety level is always high, and you end up having the most severe oneitis for someone who isn't even around. Very bad formula for a man's well-being.
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im 24 and shes 21. and yes i am playing it by ear but i dont want to lose this girl, i like her alot. im considering just denying the whole thing :confused:
 
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