"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Need some self improvement on my image

SeymourCake

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http://img580.imageshack.us/img580/7151/44582110199651065674551.jpg
http://img44.imageshack.us/img44/6416/n56745510648104408560.jpg
http://img683.imageshack.us/img683/9121/52802621176901065674551.jpg

Note: These pictures are over a year old. I look different now because I go with a clean shave and grew my hair out and actually groom it. I'll get some recent pictures as soon as I can get my webcam to work.

http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/1745/26802101501753467701075.jpg

^That's actually my most recent pic which was taken on April, but you can't tell much seeing how I had my eyes and hair covered.

Advice, tips, constructive criticism are welcomed.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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SeymourCake

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Actually, I'm Indian.
 

kingsam

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dude u look like a completely different race in the fisrt pictures....!!!!!
your not a black man so be true to your origins

id style the hair a little more ...
u looked quite good wiht a bit of stubble

the send set of pics are from a bad angle, making ur cheeks a little chubby (we all look a little bad from that kinda angle)
 

ArcBound

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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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SeymourCake

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kingsam said:
dude u look like a completely different race in the fisrt pictures....!!!!!
your not a black man so be true to your origins

id style the hair a little more ...
u looked quite good wiht a bit of stubble

the send set of pics are from a bad angle, making ur cheeks a little chubby (we all look a little bad from that kinda angle)

Here's probably a better pic I just took now...Or maybe my cheeks really are chubby.

http://img694.imageshack.us/img694/2569/210431.jpg
 

SeymourCake

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snowdog

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Well, to be honest, the only thing that really matters is your personality. You're a normal looking dude, so do whatever feels right for you. As long as you're comfortable in your own skin, good things will come to you.

In one of the photo's you have hip-hop style, which is totally different from the first few pics. It isn't my cup of tea at all, but some guys love to dress like that. As long as it feels right and comfortable for you, you should go with it.

Try something crazy. Grow a beard and dye it yellow or something. Have fun and don't think too much about this sorta thing. It's all about personality and confidence.
 

SeymourCake

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I'm sure it's more than just personality. I mean, how else could a girl from a distance judge you without getting to know you?

Women are biologically attracted to attractive man to make attractive babies in my opinion.
 

snowdog

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Being good looking will help at the start when you open a girl (start talking to her for the first time). When a good looking guy walks up and starts talking to her, she'll be more receptive at the start. That's the first ten seconds. But from that point on, it's useless, man. A good looking guy who's awkward, shy or insecure won't get anywhere. I can know this because that's where I'm coming from. When you're in a club, look at the guys who're making out with the girls at the end of the night. They don't all look like Brad Pitt. Sometimes you just see a downright ugly dude making out with a very hot chick. They have the right attitude and confidence to pull that off.

Being confident, feeling good and being happy is much more attractive to a girl that being a handsome guy.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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ArcBound

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SeymourCake said:
Sorry for the double post, but which pic is that? The link you posted is broken.
your third link in your first post
 

Warrior74

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Physically there isn't anything wrong with you. Your a decent looking guy. In the very first picture what came to my mind is that you need a good tailor. If you are going for a GQ look, tailored suits are the way to go.

In the second pic you capture the hiphop look well. So much so a few guys showed their bias eh? lol.

The thing is, to find a look that works for you. What people get hung up on and forget when they say looks matter is that they miss truer statement. Your "LOOK" matters.

How you dress is your advertisement. If you dress like a wall street hotshot, you'll attract more women who like those types. If you dress like the cool club DJ, you'll pull more party girls. If you dress like this guy, well, you don't spark any excitement from your ad.

So the key thing is to pick your market, decide what kind of look will work with that market and dress accordingly. No matter how you choose to dress, remember this...always try to dress a step or two above everyone else in the room. If you are gonna rock a hipster style, be the best dressed hipster in the room. If you are gonna be club type guy, be the best looking one in the room. If your gonna be the guy in a polo and khakis, at least try to have great shoes and a really nice watch and smell good. Which goes with out saying...always have clean shoes, a nice watch and smell good.

Good luck.
 

Ice882

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I'd go back to the buzz cut and stubble -- you look pretty fly like that. More "stereotypical Indian" with the quaffed hair.
 

ENIGMA16

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Get a better hairstyle. Grow it out a bit maybe, I don't know. Look around for one you like.

Learn fashion. Nobody can really tell you how to dress because dressing well isn't just about "following the rules" or "wearing what's hot" it's about congruency; your outer style is a reflection of your inner self, and if you try to fake it people will be able to tell.

Also, learning style, like many of the most valuable things you can learn in life, is an organic process. You don't just read a book and learn; you have to actually experience it, make mistakes, learn from those mistakes and develop. Start reading around on men's fashion/style. Surf The Sartorialist, check out Kino Wear and perhaps lurk Style Forum.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

A

Aazman

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I'm part indian myself, but i see alot of indian guys have the shaved head look. Personally don't approve. So be different from the crowd :)

I think you look better with longer hair, so maybe get it parted on the side. May sound geeky, but what you have to realise is when you change a look about you, people will go oh its not good etc. I.e Jealousy(remember pook?) When they get USED to your look, they will see it suits you and also when they realise their words don't affect you. ;)

A good example is: i used to be clean shaven, and fringe. Now i'm going for long hair and a jhonny depp esq beard(only cos my beard grows like that). I tie my hair back with a hair band. Will anyone hate it? Let them, i like a change.

I think stuble goes well, so all in all: stuble and hair. The rest is up to you and your choice. You don't have to follow media- if you do its up to you, but then people appreciate your originality less. Hip hop, I have a mixed wardrobe i like some stuff from hip hop but I don't go all out in a particular outfit.

Aaz
 

kingsam

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ultimately do what you wanna do, what you are most comfortable with (your subcommunicatios will be better if ur doing what you wanna do! not a try-hard-wanna-be )

... looks are almost too subjective to matter too much in the overall scheme


(RE my previous post - im not against blacks/hip hop - i just think the the wanna- be's are lame )
 

PapiChulo

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light stubble, nice shades.....good. The hair is somehow out of wack - fix that to flatter the rest and you are good to go. The clothes: whatever makes you look good. Its not that important as long as you feel comfortable in them and they fit your body type (quality and variety as well). Also you should have a lot of stuff to wear (in my case, I surprise the biitches by not showing up in the same stuff for weeks- variety is the key here, and the quality of fabric, leather,as they will touch it if it appears appealing to them).

If you have a really good body and height, practically anything will look good on you.The real money goes into accessories like watches, bling, shades, etc.
 

SeymourCake

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Alright thanks guys. So go with my old look? I've gotten compliments from black girls whenever I go with my old style, but rarely any compliments now. Hm....
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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