"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Need some perspective (re-post new thread)

Sparta112

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So my BPD ex came back into the picture after extended no contact,... We have been dating 6mo but she recently split me because I lied about how I met a girl before I met while we were not together,... (I met her on match but said it was in person,...) anyway my gf randomly showed up at my place last week to "confess" about a lie she had told me about sleeping with her ex and suddenly said when I can be honest with her that I can call her,.. (Projection rigt) anyway she then said oh by the way her ex whom she works with was going through her phone and found my number and wants to contact me to "tell me the truth about her" she says she doesn't trust him and that he has nothing positive to say about her and that it's not real safe for me to talk to him get she still obviously does and now this guy has my contact info,...

I'm wondering if I should bite the Bulltet and contact her ex before he calls me, I found him on FB and just say "hey I heard you have my number and want to talk and that I would be willing to listen but only over the phone" I figure I may need some more information to make informed decisions here and she has split me to negative and split so I'm thinking that this guy might be a good source for the truth,...

Any advice?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Scars

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Sparta112 said:
So my BPD ex came back into the picture after extended no contact,... We have been dating 6mo but she recently split me because I lied about how I met a girl before I met while we were not together,... (I met her on match but said it was in person,...) anyway my gf randomly showed up at my place last week to "confess" about a lie she had told me about sleeping with her ex and suddenly said when I can be honest with her that I can call her,.. (Projection rigt) anyway she then said oh by the way her ex whom she works with was going through her phone and found my number and wants to contact me to "tell me the truth about her" she says she doesn't trust him and that he has nothing positive to say about her and that it's not real safe for me to talk to him get she still obviously does and now this guy has my contact info,...

I'm wondering if I should bite the Bulltet and contact her ex before he calls me, I found him on FB and just say "hey I heard you have my number and want to talk and that I would be willing to listen but only over the phone" I figure I may need some more information to make informed decisions here and she has split me to negative and split so I'm thinking that this guy might be a good source for the truth,...

Any advice?
*Smack*

Why in the hell did you go back to your BPD ex? She hasn't even been around that long and look at the mess of drama she's brought with her.

Her ex probably wants to call you so he can tell you that he was banging her the whole time you two were together and that she can't be trusted. Probably just a bunch of stuff you already know. I don't think you need to talk to him at all, it could just enrage you even more. Speak to him if you really want to, but it seems pointless to me. Get rid of this b!tch now and all her drama which brings with her (which includes her ex).

Shame on you.

-Scars
 

headFirst

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Dude.. he is an ex.. and obviously still attached. Sounds vindictive and jealous.. I wouldn't care what he has to say. Just go on about your life with her.. And if he contacts you, be the bigger person and tell him you are not interested. Trust me it will save you a lot of grief and headache.

If you want to convict your current gf or whatever she is to you of anything, do it on your own accord.. don't let this "ex" paint a false picture because his butt is hurt.

edit: I skimmed over what you wrote.. and after the re-read I see she left you.. yea just next her, she obviously came back because she had no one else.. but regardless who cares what this guy has to say. You don't know him so why believe anything he has to say anyway. I'm sure whatever his motive is, it's really not in your best interest anyway.
 

Three

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Dude - If she's truly a BPD, then RUN! The stories aren't just stories, man. They will consume your soul and you will be loving it like heroin until it literally kills you. They are toxic and will ruin your life, your health, your finances, everything that you care about.

Also, think about the situation for a minute. Why the fuck would you talk to her ex? Are you guys in 7th grade? That is crazy shit that adults do not do.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Purefilth

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He could be trying to warn you about her BPD - and she wont like him telling you how fvcked up she is. If she is BPD, and you already know that, then why are you going back anyway?
 
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