Justaguy254254
Don Juan
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iqqi said:
I will do so.
Might make for an interesting story someday... heh
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Need some help pretty quickly regarding my LTR...
- Thread starter Justaguy254254
- Start date
I will do so.
Might make for an interesting story someday... heh"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Justaguy254254
Don Juan
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mintxx said:
Good point. It is funny how things like that happen... How there sometimes seem to be very subtle "strings" that sometimes attach us...but only when we least expect it.
Justaguy254254
Don Juan
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Just a little update, I thought this would be interesting to share.
I called and left a message on the phone. I felt I had additional things to say. Now don't get all worried guys, I did this for my own reasons again. I didn't get all mushy or beg for her back or supplicate in any way. I spoke very calmly, and I was utterly confident in my tone of voice and felt completely at ease.
I said that I was still happy with my decision to break up with her, again putting the control of things in my court. All of this was my decision, of course, and I let her know it again. I also wanted to say a few other things. I said:
1) I learned a lot from my time with her, and she learned a lot from me. Overall everything was a net positive in my life and hers.
2) We were able to talk about it reasonably and there was no shouting or screaming match.
3) I said life is full of possibilities, and I was very excited about the future and I would be out making my own destiny.
4) Like before I wish you the best of luck but I am not going to contact you again because it's not a good idea. If you want to talk again someday in the future that is your decision.
And so it goes, I hung up. A few minutes later her mom ends up texting me...she heard the message...and said she was glad I called since she and my former gf were talking about me last night. She expressed the hope that we'd keep in contact. Obviously, she's old enough to know that I'm awesome and better than the vast majority of guys. She's always liked me from the beginning. Anyway, I didn't bother replying to the texts.
Soon after that, my ex gf calls and leaves a message. Tells me she really liked what I had to say and I can call back if i want... and she hoped to hear from me soon. Obviously, I didn't call back.
So that is where things are. I think I've done just about as well as I can do. Seems clear that she is still thinking about me, but I'm not gonna wait around. Time to see other chicks.
I called and left a message on the phone. I felt I had additional things to say. Now don't get all worried guys, I did this for my own reasons again. I didn't get all mushy or beg for her back or supplicate in any way. I spoke very calmly, and I was utterly confident in my tone of voice and felt completely at ease.
I said that I was still happy with my decision to break up with her, again putting the control of things in my court. All of this was my decision, of course, and I let her know it again. I also wanted to say a few other things. I said:
1) I learned a lot from my time with her, and she learned a lot from me. Overall everything was a net positive in my life and hers.
2) We were able to talk about it reasonably and there was no shouting or screaming match.
3) I said life is full of possibilities, and I was very excited about the future and I would be out making my own destiny.
4) Like before I wish you the best of luck but I am not going to contact you again because it's not a good idea. If you want to talk again someday in the future that is your decision.
And so it goes, I hung up. A few minutes later her mom ends up texting me...she heard the message...and said she was glad I called since she and my former gf were talking about me last night. She expressed the hope that we'd keep in contact. Obviously, she's old enough to know that I'm awesome and better than the vast majority of guys. She's always liked me from the beginning. Anyway, I didn't bother replying to the texts.
Soon after that, my ex gf calls and leaves a message. Tells me she really liked what I had to say and I can call back if i want... and she hoped to hear from me soon. Obviously, I didn't call back.
So that is where things are. I think I've done just about as well as I can do. Seems clear that she is still thinking about me, but I'm not gonna wait around. Time to see other chicks.
iqqi
Master Don Juan
You are never supposed to do that.
Are you going to do it again a week from now, if you don't hear from her?
Are you going to do it again a week from now, if you don't hear from her?
Justaguy254254
Don Juan
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I did what I wanted to do, it was something I did for myself. No worries.iqqi said:
I am not going to contact her again.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
MacAvoy
Banned
Wow, I'm actually impressed with something iqqi said.iqqi said:
But to the OP, you've got your closure man, now you can truly move on. I agree w/ iqqi that you shouldn't have done it, but I understand why you did it. Granted it was AFC, but you got off relatively scott free, you got respect from her circle and she returned the msg politely. END OF STORY.
Let the next chapter in your life begin. Move on now.