"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Need some help possible BPD

GS750

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heater528 said:
Rugby, I agree.... I am a usually emotionally under control, cool, collected and pretty calculating. She had me doing things completely out of character. It is like they find one chink in the armor and move in. Cunning little manipulators they areI was meeting her at places where me and my wife go and was making out with her in a booth like an idiot. That's pushing it...do you want to get caught?She had me calling her from my house... while my wife was in the other room.Lack of boundaries Looking back I should have ran from the start. True. but you live and learn

She was in control from day one. More than you realize. Control is their specialtyShe set up everything and pretty much put everything on a platter for me. Made it almost too easyShow up here and do this... show up there and do that.... More controlThen she made sure to build this amazing connection off our pasts ( We knew each other 15 years earlier) Trying to build an emotional connection as quick as possible. Hooked like a bass on 15lb test line

I have not had any contact with her since Monday. Good. She's plotting though, count on it I honestly feel bad about it but need to realize that in 3 months she did not care about me at all. She cared about using you like an object and controlling youI thought about this...she never asked my hobbies, interests, where I went to school, any of my life stories... from day one it was just about sucking in another victim to validate her...everything we talked about was related to hooking up. The world revolves around her. There were days where she sort of vanished. Until she needs her attention/validation/sex fix then she reappearsI could not get a word out of her. She controls she dynamicIf I called her on it I got crap. Pffffft...she's oblivious of her narcissistic behavior. Everyone else is crazy/difficult/unreasonable. Not themThere were days where I was very busy... Would have a text from her... followed up by three guilt trips if I did not get back to her. Again, she wants attention and she wants it now. Impulsive and manipulative

I

Stay NC you're doing good. But hell hath no fury like a BPD scorned. She will feel hurt and abandoned and may try to get even. Best case scenario would be if she latches onto another guy super fast and writes you off. Your aren't providing the necessary level of attention that she needs, so this is likely. Jump on a new d*ck and start all over with the new guy.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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heater528

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I have noooooooo Idea where I would be had I continued down this path.


I cant imagine if I let myself get sucked in... boot my wife out... think about starting this new life and bam... realize she is insane and my life is in shambles.


Thank you everyone ! I am still in wait and see mode because at any moment this girl may try and blow everything up.
 
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one word ... RUN
 

heater528

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Franky Four Fingers said:
one word ... RUN

I have !!! So far it has worked out better than I expected. I have her blocked on my phone so I have no clue what texts or how many calls she has made. As I get further removed from this situation I am glad I was able to make the break so early. I am hoping she had other guys on the side and completely forgot about me at this point.
 

GS750

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that's the ideal situation. and you'd be lucky in that regard. chicks like this usually do have a guy or two that they have stringing along waiting in the wings, so they just write you off and move on to one of them. they do have a habit of trying to keep in touch though, so by blocking her you've kept that from happening.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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