"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Need some advice

Soldier711

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Hola compadres. First time posting here so don't be too harsh! I just got out of a horrible 2.5 year relationship/engagement 3 months ago. This b**** cheated on me 3 times and was mentally fcked up (Bi polar type). So I kicked her to the curb. I am also in the military. 11 Bangbang for any of you army types out there. I'm headed up to Ft Benning in a little over a month for some infantry training. Won't be gone too long. Anyway, I meet this chick the other day. Beautiful. Awesome personality. We stay up all night talking, and I get her number. Call her up, we hit a nice restaurant then play some mini golf. She gave me all the right signals, but I was playing hard to get. I wanted the right time for us to kiss. We go to her place, finally kiss a little bit. Then we sit outside watching the stars until the sun rises.

Before I left her place, she says something along the lines of "I really like you, but you are scary." WTF?!?! I admit, some women have said I look a little intimidating. I'm 6'2'', 200 pounds. Got a stereotypical jarhead look I suppose. But I opened up to her. I'm a sensitive, touchy feely kind of guy. I asked her to define scary and she couldn't. Maybe it's more of a fear of commitment or an issue with trust. All the signs are there to pursue a relationship/dating though. I really dig this chick.
My questions to you fine gentleman are:

1) WTF do women mean by "Scary"?
2) Does this relationship have a chance of working out? How would a pro handle this? I'm not in this for sex until the time comes (after months of dating and both knowing we're in love, if that comes).

BTW, I'm not active duty military. I'll be back in January and then drill 2 days a month. So this would not be a long distance relationship except while I was gone.

Have a great day.
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Ace of Flames

Master Don Juan
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Maybe she fears commitment to a soldier, since at any time, you could be sent off to Iraq or anywhere else, and maybe even die out there. That's tough to deal with, let alone think about. I can understand her fear if that's what she meant by "Scary".

So, you should comfort her fears, and explain to her that you aren't active right now. Tell her that once you get back from training, you'll be around all the time.

I also think you should smile more. Smiling is always a good thing to do. You're a soldier man! Be proud of that, and show it off with your smile.
 

Soldier711

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Hooah Mr. Flames! I'm the most carefree motherfkr that I know! I'm always smilin' and jokin. I like your first parapgraph. Didn't think of it in that parameter. It got my mind rollin. I didn't get that vibe from her though. It seemed like she was afraid I was going to rape her or something. Physical fear. The only other thing I got was a fear of what outcome this has. If we hook up when I go, I'm not the type of guy to ask her to wait for me and not date. If I come back and she still wants to be with me, then that's what it's about. She would choose me of her own free will. I explained this to her, as well as how I will be back. Anyway, thanks for the advice brotha! Have a good one.
 

skip2mylou781

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she might just be intimidated that your so APLHA.....its a good thing.....if shes kissing u, but she said ur scary, then look at her actions, not her WORDS
 
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Being 6' 2" 200 pounds is not physically scary...so she must be referring to your mental state!!!!! Women are are scared of men's mental state and not so much their physical strtucture - all men are stronger than women - she is saying that she fears the way you think!!!! Your thinking leads to physical harm!!!! Understand????
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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