Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Need some advice

Soldier711

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Hola compadres. First time posting here so don't be too harsh! I just got out of a horrible 2.5 year relationship/engagement 3 months ago. This b**** cheated on me 3 times and was mentally fcked up (Bi polar type). So I kicked her to the curb. I am also in the military. 11 Bangbang for any of you army types out there. I'm headed up to Ft Benning in a little over a month for some infantry training. Won't be gone too long. Anyway, I meet this chick the other day. Beautiful. Awesome personality. We stay up all night talking, and I get her number. Call her up, we hit a nice restaurant then play some mini golf. She gave me all the right signals, but I was playing hard to get. I wanted the right time for us to kiss. We go to her place, finally kiss a little bit. Then we sit outside watching the stars until the sun rises.

Before I left her place, she says something along the lines of "I really like you, but you are scary." WTF?!?! I admit, some women have said I look a little intimidating. I'm 6'2'', 200 pounds. Got a stereotypical jarhead look I suppose. But I opened up to her. I'm a sensitive, touchy feely kind of guy. I asked her to define scary and she couldn't. Maybe it's more of a fear of commitment or an issue with trust. All the signs are there to pursue a relationship/dating though. I really dig this chick.
My questions to you fine gentleman are:

1) WTF do women mean by "Scary"?
2) Does this relationship have a chance of working out? How would a pro handle this? I'm not in this for sex until the time comes (after months of dating and both knowing we're in love, if that comes).

BTW, I'm not active duty military. I'll be back in January and then drill 2 days a month. So this would not be a long distance relationship except while I was gone.

Have a great day.
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Ace of Flames

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Maybe she fears commitment to a soldier, since at any time, you could be sent off to Iraq or anywhere else, and maybe even die out there. That's tough to deal with, let alone think about. I can understand her fear if that's what she meant by "Scary".

So, you should comfort her fears, and explain to her that you aren't active right now. Tell her that once you get back from training, you'll be around all the time.

I also think you should smile more. Smiling is always a good thing to do. You're a soldier man! Be proud of that, and show it off with your smile.
 

Soldier711

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Hooah Mr. Flames! I'm the most carefree motherfkr that I know! I'm always smilin' and jokin. I like your first parapgraph. Didn't think of it in that parameter. It got my mind rollin. I didn't get that vibe from her though. It seemed like she was afraid I was going to rape her or something. Physical fear. The only other thing I got was a fear of what outcome this has. If we hook up when I go, I'm not the type of guy to ask her to wait for me and not date. If I come back and she still wants to be with me, then that's what it's about. She would choose me of her own free will. I explained this to her, as well as how I will be back. Anyway, thanks for the advice brotha! Have a good one.
 

skip2mylou781

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she might just be intimidated that your so APLHA.....its a good thing.....if shes kissing u, but she said ur scary, then look at her actions, not her WORDS
 
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Being 6' 2" 200 pounds is not physically scary...so she must be referring to your mental state!!!!! Women are are scared of men's mental state and not so much their physical strtucture - all men are stronger than women - she is saying that she fears the way you think!!!! Your thinking leads to physical harm!!!! Understand????
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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