"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Need some advice on what I can improve

Magnatolia

Don Juan
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I was waiting at the food service line, and opened a girl beside me. A 2 or 3 minute convo ensued which went really well. She was visiting a friend while she was in the area. I was thinking I would find out where she was sitting and go say hello later, but it was my turn to be served. So I couldn't really do anything, but damn I had a good night!

Question, if you ask a girl how her night is going and she doesn't respond do you assume she is ignoring you or that she probably didn't hear the question? I tend to do the first one, but this happened to me in the same line and she then asked what I had ordered.

So I was at the bar and turned around and automatically asked these 2 girls how their night was going. They both said it was really good and asked the question back (that's my standard opener, I can gain their current interest on whether they ask the question back, and you can usually tell if their smile is sincere).

I mentioned that I'd just done karaoke, and one of them asked what I sung. i told them then asked if they'd been to that place before (its small and not one of the mainstream joints). I made a comment based on that, then a couple of their friends came over and they talked and then left.

I know I should have probably moved so we formed a circle or whatever - they were both facing me.

Was I rejected when they did that? Admittedly my attention was also on the barman as I was waiting to be served. However they both invested energy into the conversation. When they first responded, it was with wide smiles and high energy in their voice.

I was walking away from the bar and this hottie said hey - not sure if it was to her friend or me, but I said hey back. Then she stopped me and asked what I was drinking, and pointed out that they gave me a chicks glass (idiot bartender lol). I just rolled my eyes and said the drink was good or something like that - she just shrugged her shoulders and said it didn't matter what glass I was using. Then I told her to enjoy her night and went over to my friend.

I'm reading some material, and I feel really uncomfortable about asking opinion openers as these seem too 'routine'. Nobody really cares about hte answer, the whole point is to open them and then transition to a normal conversation.

Any thoughts or opinions? I suffer from AA so that was an awesome moment. I did have a lot to drink but alcohol doesn't affect me negatively. I still know what I'm doing/saying etc.

Just looking for some thoughts and advice. Thanks.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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sprint

Don Juan
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you didn't really say anything. I mean asking how their night is going? You didn't transition the conversation to anything interesting. Of course they're going to leave. You need to be different in a good way. Don't be the same AFC as all the other guys.
 

Magnatolia

Don Juan
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Interesting like what? That's where I am stumped, I don't know what to transition to.

I did bring it around to karaoke at one point, one girl in particular asked what I sung.
 
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