"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Need some advice on juggling

shredhead7

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I met a girl, had a date, had a great time would love to see her again and the feeling I believe is mutual.

I met a second girl, who is also great has a lot of potential, but haven't had a date yet. She wants to go out though.

I'm not serious with either of these two yet, but am looking for a LTR. How do I tell the two that I'm still just testing the waters without offending them. The first one (as that's the one I know better) is someone that I don't want to lose as we get along great and she's very good looking. However the second is just as good looking, with possibly more upside in the long run.

:confused:
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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shredhead7 said:
...How do I tell the two that I'm still just testing the waters without offending them....
Before anyone else replies, tell us why you need to tell them this?
 

shredhead7

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Before anyone else replies, tell us why you need to tell them this?
Courtesy? I don't know. I've always been good at roping them in and before I knew it, was in a LTR. I've done that for the last 15 years, with a few girls, and I'm 34 and realize this is the last run (at least it feels like it). I know, it's totally AFC...Just want advice/reassurance that I won't lose someone good by testing the waters...
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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shredhead7 said:
Courtesy? I don't know.
***WOOP***WOOP***WOOP***
*** NICE GUY ALERT *** NICE GUY ALERT ***​

shredhead7 said:
I've always been good at roping them in and before I knew it, was in a LTR. I've done that for the last 15 years, with a few girls, and I'm 34 and realize this is the last run (at least it feels like it). I know, it's totally AFC...Just want advice/reassurance that I won't lose someone good by testing the waters...
Do you want to disqualify yourself right off the bat? Your problem is that you end up in LTRs before you're ready, it's something you need to deal with, not the woman.

The easy way not to end up in a relationship without knowing it is not to do things that people in relationships do! It's simple, if you're just dating, act like it. Dating does not mean relationship; relationship means relationship. If you don't imply that your dating is more than what it is, there will not be any reason to define it with words (especially those which don't benefit you what so ever).

Slow your roll, enjoy the ride, change direction if you need to, enjoy the scenery. You'll get to where you'd like to go but the ride will be less bumpy if you'd just slow down and steer around the potholes.
 

LovelyLady

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"...tell us why you need to tell them this?" That was kind of my reaction, too... do you think they need to tell you they are dating other people right now? It is kind of assumed early on you are both seeing other people, unless you have already been physically intimate - then that's a whole other ball of yarn I won't even begin to try to unravel! LOL

Seriously, you haven't even had your second date with the girl you really like. Just be honorable and don't treat her as if you are more serious than you are really ready to be.

If you lose her (which seems to be your fear) because you want to take the time to be sure (including dating other women) you really are better off alone than with her, IMHO. Any woman worth her salt wants her man to be sure of his decisions.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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