"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Need some advice on juggling

shredhead7

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I met a girl, had a date, had a great time would love to see her again and the feeling I believe is mutual.

I met a second girl, who is also great has a lot of potential, but haven't had a date yet. She wants to go out though.

I'm not serious with either of these two yet, but am looking for a LTR. How do I tell the two that I'm still just testing the waters without offending them. The first one (as that's the one I know better) is someone that I don't want to lose as we get along great and she's very good looking. However the second is just as good looking, with possibly more upside in the long run.

:confused:
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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shredhead7 said:
...How do I tell the two that I'm still just testing the waters without offending them....
Before anyone else replies, tell us why you need to tell them this?
 

shredhead7

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Before anyone else replies, tell us why you need to tell them this?
Courtesy? I don't know. I've always been good at roping them in and before I knew it, was in a LTR. I've done that for the last 15 years, with a few girls, and I'm 34 and realize this is the last run (at least it feels like it). I know, it's totally AFC...Just want advice/reassurance that I won't lose someone good by testing the waters...
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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shredhead7 said:
Courtesy? I don't know.
***WOOP***WOOP***WOOP***
*** NICE GUY ALERT *** NICE GUY ALERT ***​

shredhead7 said:
I've always been good at roping them in and before I knew it, was in a LTR. I've done that for the last 15 years, with a few girls, and I'm 34 and realize this is the last run (at least it feels like it). I know, it's totally AFC...Just want advice/reassurance that I won't lose someone good by testing the waters...
Do you want to disqualify yourself right off the bat? Your problem is that you end up in LTRs before you're ready, it's something you need to deal with, not the woman.

The easy way not to end up in a relationship without knowing it is not to do things that people in relationships do! It's simple, if you're just dating, act like it. Dating does not mean relationship; relationship means relationship. If you don't imply that your dating is more than what it is, there will not be any reason to define it with words (especially those which don't benefit you what so ever).

Slow your roll, enjoy the ride, change direction if you need to, enjoy the scenery. You'll get to where you'd like to go but the ride will be less bumpy if you'd just slow down and steer around the potholes.
 

LovelyLady

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"...tell us why you need to tell them this?" That was kind of my reaction, too... do you think they need to tell you they are dating other people right now? It is kind of assumed early on you are both seeing other people, unless you have already been physically intimate - then that's a whole other ball of yarn I won't even begin to try to unravel! LOL

Seriously, you haven't even had your second date with the girl you really like. Just be honorable and don't treat her as if you are more serious than you are really ready to be.

If you lose her (which seems to be your fear) because you want to take the time to be sure (including dating other women) you really are better off alone than with her, IMHO. Any woman worth her salt wants her man to be sure of his decisions.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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