"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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need serious help man

Dekg140

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Im suffering from oneitis so ****ing bad, Ive known this girl and no one even compares to her, i cant get her out my head and she just told me she hates me and walked off because i tried to cheer her up (****ing AFC move). But **** man, I dont even want to spin plates because all the other girls just look like dogsh*t when i think of her?

What am I meant to do, I really need to get my **** together
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Mike32ct

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Dekg140 said:
Im suffering from oneitis so ****ing bad, Ive known this girl and no one even compares to her, i cant get her out my head and she just told me she hates me and walked off because i tried to cheer her up (****ing AFC move). But **** man, I dont even want to spin plates because all the other girls just look like dogsh*t when i think of her?

What am I meant to do, I really need to get my **** together
I've been there. You meet a girl that you SWEAR is perfect for you, i.e. your dream girl. But it turns out she isn't interested. Guess what? She's NOT perfect for you. You just think she is.
 

In2theGame

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Dekg140 said:
Im suffering from oneitis so ****ing bad, Ive known this girl and no one even compares to her, i cant get her out my head and she just told me she hates me and walked off because i tried to cheer her up (****ing AFC move). But **** man, I dont even want to spin plates because all the other girls just look like dogsh*t when i think of her?

What am I meant to do, I really need to get my **** together
she told you she hates you? what did you do?
 

Alle_Gory

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Dekg140 said:
Im suffering from oneitis so ****ing bad, Ive known this girl and no one even compares to her
Wanna bet? Take a piece of paper and write down all the positives this girl has and all the negatives. Be very specific, and no emotion.

Pros:
1. She is fit.
2. She can talk about topics that I find interesting.

Cons:
1. She has a crazy family. Liability.
2. Baby daddy drama.
3. Alcoholic.

etc.

Make it as if you're writing a report. No opinion, no emotion.


I think you will have more negatives that positives, especially since she told you she hates you. What a b*tch.
 

cablecow15

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f that hoe , because the best girl for you wouldn't treat you like that , no exceptions
 
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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Deadly_Ripped

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It just takes time. You've got to reduce your exposure to her and find things about her that you didn't like. You've got to remember that she's only human, and if you didn't know about her F-ed up past or severe craziness, then you would have eventually.

Plus, let's face it, if she's not interested then you're wasting your time fawning over her. There's no "getting" her and you should therefore focus on things in your life that are within your realm of control.

Get your stuff together and get practice dating so that when someone really exciting comes along you've got the experience and knowhow to get and keep her (and then realize how crazy she is and break up with her).
 

bigneil

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Oneitis is the dating equivalent of unemployment.
 

Gam

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Just because a girl seems perfect doesn't mean she's perfect for you.The girl that's perfect for you would NOT shoot you down like that. You don't necessarily have to spin plates but at least maintain a certain level of detachment especially if the she doesn't seem as into you as you are to her.
If you've read the articles on sosuave you'll see that one of the advice given regarding "cheering up" a girl is to just not do it because you'll get associated with her bad emotional state.
 

Sparky

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Hmmm... people rarely say they hate each other to their faces unless they're 14 year olds speaking to their parents.
Either you've been a real tit and you deserve it, or ........ there's something else going on. If you know what I mean ;)
My ex used to say she hated me all the time. What she actually meant was she hated the fact that
1 : She found me attractive.
2 : I was almost always right.
And immediately after saying she hated me would give me a hug, or whatever else.
That kind of hate is quite exciting actually and leads to good sex.

I would venture that women find it frustrating when they find a man attractive, because they can't control it. What they're actually saying is they hate the fact that they like you.
If this bird you're talking about seemed genuinely upset, then sounds like you did something really stupid.
If on the other hand she said it in a more adolescent toys out of the pram kind of way, I've got my money on that she likes you and hates that for some reason. She doesn't want to like you but does.

I think you're gonna have to face the music and tell us what it was you actually did. Also describe the way which she said it.
 
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