"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Need quick feedback please

L

like2jam

Don Juan
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Ok, so I keep having these dates lining up from OKC.

The new HB7 or so, she's like, hey, let's meet for a drink tomorrow at 6.

I couldn't make 6, so I suggested 7:30 or later.

Now she's like, hey, that's dinner time! let's meet for food and drinks in this area and blah blah.

FFS. I'm so done with dinner as a first date with these women. It's breaking me financially. They expect me to pick up the tab and it costs 50 bucks or more every time ( including gas ).

I would still like to meet this woman. But I don't want to come off as a cheapskate either. Now what? I need some quick suggestions as to how to turn this around into just a drink outing again.

I'm seriously over this dinner thing unless it's happy hour and I can escape for 25 bucks or less. It just gets too expensive and I don't even know these people. I'm not a meal ticket.

So what now? How do I still meet this woman without having it turn into a spendy dinner date -yet again.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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like2jam

Don Juan
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I just said I couldn't make dinner tomorrow but that I could meet for drinks after at 8:30 or I could meet up at 6 on another day.
 
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like2jam

Don Juan
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LOL, I am being cheap. Fvck this ****. I'm done with dinner dates as a first date UNLESS I've already met the woman and I know we already have some chemistry.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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T

The_411

Master Don Juan
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Humor man humor.

She says let's get dinner you say something like, you've got to earn that privilege, or my mother told me it's rude to invite yourself to dinner/ did your mother tell you it's rude to invite yourself to dinner? etc.

She's imposing her frame here by trying to turn drinks into dinner. You need to keep control of the frame, by shutting it down. She'll respect you more and it will lead to a faster move into the sac.
 
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like2jam

Don Juan
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Good point 411. She certainly did attempt to turn drinks into dinner. Something to watch out for! I could have gone the humor route. Perhaps next time I'll try it.

I definitely shut the dinner option down. Now I'm just waiting to hear back.
I'll update as long as I don't run out of posts ( which has happened to me here before - 10 limit within a certain amount of time? )
 
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