"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Need Quick Advice

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Ok, a fast break down of the past week. Prom is coming up in about a month and 1/2 and I was convinced that I should go. I was talking to this girl my friend likes (we'll call her Christine) and she said her friend (we'll call this one Chelsea) didn't have a date for it. This girl is pretty attractive so I decided I'd ask her. The only problem is that I've never talked to her before, and when I attempted, I got butterflies in my stomach and fled.

Now, Wednesday, one of my other friends set something up for us. It's basically a double date including the 3 of us and one of her friends. Since he works at a bowling alley, that was the plan. In the process he got her number for me (take note, I didn't ask him to do this) so I need a way to go about doing this without looking like I'm in 2nd grade and having my friends help me out. So basically I need you guys to help me out.

Her friend came over to the lunch table yesterday and said "I'm giving you a big clue, go ask her now" yet, I still pussied out. Like a fool. However, I don't want to have that happen again. I've read the bible a number of times, and I know that foolish emotions such as fear and anxiety can be supressed with simple logic, I just choked this time.

I plan to call her within the next hour, and make plans tonight, I need some advice on how to go about doing this. I figured I'd do something like this..

"Hey, it's NiQ"
"Hey"
*Small talk such as how are you doing blah blah blah*
"So are you busy tonight?"
"Nope"
"Well me and some of the guys are goin out, wanna come?"
"Sure"
*success*

Sound good? Help?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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AC/DC

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by Niq Nova The Mighty
. The only problem is that I've never talked to her before


Sound good? Help?
If you've never met her before? Hell naw.

If I was you, I'd do this: Have her friend Christine introduce you to her (Chelsea, right?) one day during lunch or whatever, (it would BEST be done at the bowling place) when Chelsea is NOT doing anything and not with any other guys. Talk with her for a bit, then brign up prom, like this: "Ay, you goin to prom?" And she'll say "no", because Christine said she didn't have a date. Go from there.
 

TonyTheTigerOI

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Rochester? I play soccer in rochester - where ya from?

Anyways. You play the part of the blithering idiot quite well =). So you looked like a jackass a few times... it happens to the best of us. But shes desperate... usually ppl have dates to prom 2 months in advance. Lucky. Theres no pressure, she WANTS you to ask her... and as far as she knows, you're her ticket to prom (all girls want to go to prom).

What to do? Call her up, "hey, this is <niq>, <christines> friend... whats cookin?"

Dont make a big deal about not getting the # from her, it happens. Girls who want ****, want ****, how has little impact on the moment. Make small talk, have a funny story to tell... be interesting.

USUALLY you dont want to spend more than 10-15 min on the phone... but as this is your first actual convo, take a good 20-25 min to talk. Just relax, beath deep, and let the HS girl (aka gossip queen) do some talking. When the convo's going well anytime after the 15 min mark, start working towards a dateclose.

Shes telling you a story about how her manager @ work speaks 11 languages (including signlanguage)... you act interested.

"No way, thats cool! I always wanted to learn Cineese... hey, 900 million people cant be wrong! You know, christina, me, <randomfriends names> were going to hang out later, you should come."

"Cool!"

Simple as that. Remember - your not smooth, so have fun not being smooth.

Talk to me about this rochester stuff =)
 
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I live in Henrietta, not sure if you know where that is.. pretty close to the city.

I called her about an hour after I posted. Made a date for that night and she gladly accepted. Unfortunetely me and my friends got into a car accident so I called her and she immediately wanted to reschedule so we made plans for tonight, and we'll see how things go..
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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blienk

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Lots of Rochester love in here...I'm originally from Penfield, if you play soccer you've probably met some people from there.
 

blienk

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I still live in Penfield during summer and school breaks, I go to college at Washington Univ. in St. Louis.
 

Ace123

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Whoa. Small world. I currently live in Penfield. We have an awesome soccer team.

Hey Blienk who are you? Maybe i know you if you have a sibling or something.

Nice to see some fellow Rochesterians (and a buffalo guy)
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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