"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Need opinions ... Update on mexican chick ... Afraid of developing oneitus with her

rgeere

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The university I attend is a religious university, and right now we are having a week of prayer sort of deal with an assembly at the local church beginning about 10:30.

I was sitting down in one of the pews in front, and I noticed that she was sitting in the front center row. I looked at her, and she gave me a smile and a nod like she wanted me to move over to the front pew to where she was sitting. It also looked like she said something, but I couldn’t tell.

I didn’t move; because the seat was reserved for those were going to speak up front and I would be seen by a 1000 people walking accost the front row in front of the speaker to sit next to her. My instincts told me this wasn’t good, so I didn’t move over to her. About this time a group of students stood up to lead a praise song so I sang along with them.

It turns out that she was speaking up front and it was her turn to lead the greeting that morning.

Her: Hey, in case anyone doesn’t know my name is Margaret, why don’t we all stand up and greet someone close to you.

Well, I was greeting the guy behind me and she walks right up to me and sits down beside me.

Me: Hello Margaret
Her: Did you hear what I said?
Me: I had no clue what you said..
Her: Are you serious? Was I mumbling?
Me: Your lips were moving, but I heard nothing.
Me: Well, I guess if you mean up front, then yes.

I didn’t quite understand what she meant by that at first, but then I realized she was referring to what she said up front. I was just sitting there and not really moving and greeting people.

Then there was another short song and a guy came up and started talking about some student missionaries that were out in the field, and called for each one of us to find someone to pray with. She was sitting besides me, so we prayed together.

Her: So, do you have any special request for prayer, would you like me to pray for you about anything like a need or something?
Me: Yes, we all have needs.
Her: Private needs?
Me: yes
Her: I have those too
Her: Should you pray first or should I pray?
Me: I’ll pray

So, I gave this short general prayer, and then she prays and mentions my name specifically and asks for God’s guidance in all matters.

The speaker was introduced and she took out this ball of yearn and starts knitting while sitting next to me. She then scoots up really close to me and kept rubbing up against me and bumping me with her arm occasionally.

Then the speaker that was there starts to speak and noted that we needed these fill-in-the-blank sheets that go along with points in his sermon. She took one of them out and noticed I didn’t have one, so she handed me hers and then gave me a bible and a pen.

So, she keeps knitting and bumps into me with arm the entire time, and finally the sermon was ended, and everyone was about to leave.

Her: I bet you are wondering what I am doing with this yearn and string?
Me: I was sort of wondering, yes.
Her: it’s for a class I have a 1:30
Me: *nods head*
Her: what is today anyways, Wednesday?
Me: yeah *nods head*
Her: Wait, what was I thinking?
Me: *Starts to leave*
Her: I’ll see you at work!
Me: Yeah, I’ll see you…

And then I just sort of left… I better not allow myself to get oneitus for her, and I started to feel oneitus a little bit before I left and it affected my motivation towards the end. Not good at all.

I am becoming convinced now that whatever amount of DJ skills I see a major improvement in her attitude towards me. She use to test me with all sort of non-sense talk and actions, but she is nothing less than nice and sweet to me anymore.

I have no real clue if I flubbed up with her afterwards. In fact, I feel a little awkward whenever a girl comes up and sits next to me.

Now, I personally would not have a problem expressing myself sexually except that her mind is set against any sort of premarital affection, and she doesn’t believe in dating.

She does appear to like me a lot, though. The yearn bit I would definatelly consider kino considering she didn’t have to knit so close to me that she was almost sitting in my lap.

I don’t see anything wrong with having fun with her, although I know I’m probably not going to get any real action out of her. I guess it just goes to show whether this is something I really want to deal with in the end.

This is the sad downfall of going to a religious school, but like I said it’s a matter of preference.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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My friend, I'm not exactly sure what to tell you. It sounds like, even though she may be interested in you, she has been... conditioned to believe that certain things are wrong. Meaning that however strong her natural instincts may be to feel something for you, her religious conditioning has probably left her satisfied with no need for a physically romantic relationship.

Therefore, oneitis in your case could be EXTREMELY dangerous. She will probably continue to give you buying signs while you sit there and get more and more frustrated.

Move on, bro.

Good luck!
 

rgeere

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Yeah, it's hard to get past the religious sexual brainwashing that isn't even biblical to DJ chicks at my school. I really have no choice but to respect her wishes in this manner or to find another girl who is a bit more expressive.

Honestly I believe that she is a great girl, and I like having fun with her. But that's about where it ends.

Not to say that those expressive type of girls are not going to school here, but those type usually end up getting expelled or suspended due to sexual activity. In the dorm I stayed at last school year there was a guy that snuck a girl into his dorm room and she actually literally MOVED IN and stayed there for two weeks and screwed around. The dean eventually found out and she got expelled and he got a fine and a slap on the wrist. Ironic, but I still see the guy around and going to school here and that was more than a year ago.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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rgeere

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Originally posted by joecollapoppa
well if u have sex aren't u going against your religion?
No, not really ... Sex is healthy self-expression and does not naturally go against the bible.

What the bible teaches and as far as Christ teaches is that while sex is an enjoyable act, you should remain faithful in a commited relationship for the sake of being models for the children and supporting them.

While having sex in itself is not necessarily a sin; the irresponsibility of parents towards themselves and others is what
causes fornifacation.

Lusting (desiring) a woman is not a sin. Everyone desires a mate and and anyone believeing that the bible teaches that lust is a sin does not understand what the bible really says about lust or the meaning of the word. In matthew chapter 5:27-38 Christ was speaking about lusting after a woman who was commited already to another man.

If a girl likes you, which is the case with this girl, then it is not a sin to commit sexual acts taking you are ready to take responsibility for your actions and supporting each other in commitment.
 

Walden

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So this hot girl approached you , intitated convo , asked to get to know you better and initiated kino on you and you did absolutely nothing about it.

And your worried about oneitis!?!?!?

I'd be worried about that absensce of testicles bro, before I worried about oneitis.
 

rgeere

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Originally posted by Walden
So this hot girl approached you , intitated convo , asked to get to know you better and initiated kino on you and you did absolutely nothing about it.

And your worried about oneitis!?!?!?

I'd be worried about that absensce of testicles bro, before I worried about oneitis.
Did you read the entire origional thread?

I supposed we could have just gone at it right there on the pew inside of a 1000+ member church while the sermon was going on. Would have been BIG time news, especially since this church does live broadcast to the whole DALLAS/FT WORTH/ARLINGTON metroplex.

:rolleyes:

I will take that as a point, though.
 

rgeere

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Originally posted by joecollapoppa
In the bible, sex before marriage is a sin
Marriage is a social custom developed by man to create a state of equality between the stronger and weaker varieties of men. Whether God intended people to paar off in the beginning remains to be seen, as the commentary about marriage in the book of genesis was an addition added by rabbis either in moses time or some time after in response to these customs, some other references found in the new testament refer to this passage in Genesis 2:24.

Sex is only a sin "in the biblical sense" when you are breaking up a family with sexual promiscuity, either your own or another family. This includes a man sleeping with a woman and making another man raise the child.

Jesus Christ wants us to be responsible people who do not harm the wellfare of children and the families of children.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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MetalFortress

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Originally posted by rgeere
Marriage is a social custom developed by man to create a state of equality between the stronger and weaker varieties of men. Whether God intended people to paar off in the beginning remains to be seen, as the commentary about marriage in the book of genesis was an addition added by rabbis either in moses time or some time after in response to these customs, some other references found in the new testament refer to this passage in Genesis 2:24.

Sex is only a sin "in the biblical sense" when you are breaking up a family with sexual promiscuity, either your own or another family. This includes a man sleeping with a woman and making another man raise the child.

Jesus Christ wants us to be responsible people who do not harm the wellfare of children and the families of children.
What about the new testament warnings against fornication? Fornication is defined as "Sexual intercourse between partners who are not married to each other." There is really no other way to slice that one dude. If you only read the NIV Bible, fornication is changed into "sexual immorality" in there. I have no idea why - it is fornication pretty much anywhere else, including the KJV.

1 Corinthians 7:2
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

1 Corinthians 6:18
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

Bearing this in mind, I have no idea how you can try to say that what Jesus wanted and what the Bible says contradict each other.
 

rgeere

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Originally posted by MetalFortress
Bearing this in mind, I have no idea how you can try to say that what Jesus wanted and what the Bible says contradict each other.
I never said they did.

The bible teaches that men shoud be responsible to one another, so I will be responsible and not do anything that would cause a woman to become impregniated unless I am in a position to be responsible for the consequences of the actions of my doing so.

This means that I will not force another man to raise my offspring.

This means that I will not cause the division of a family or my own.

This means that I am entitled to raise my own children who are genetically my offspring

This means that I should not do anything to stagnate the physical and emotional growth of my own genetic children.

The concepts are already found inside of me and my heart. There is no need for me to seek outside sources to act upon what I know I have to do with my life.
 
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